Round 4 Canon Submissions Options

[evlpez]

This round, the Mission is the same for both Canon Fodder and Wizarding Wheezes submissions. Good Luck and happy writing!

Remember... this is the Final Round.

[ronsmyman]

Simple Solutions and Simple Minds

At Hermione’s exclamation Snape began to stir. The trio went and bent over him. He groaned and his eyes fluttered open.

“Aaaaaaaagh!” He screamed as he saw the three faces very close to his own. “What in the name of all that is wizardly did you do that for. I think I’m going to have a heart attack. Fifty points from Gryffindor!”

“Professor! That’s whack!” The trio exclaimed.

“You know what is ‘whack’?” Snape said stiffly. “Your Ebonics skills.”

“We’re studying American muggles in muggle studies,” Hermione said, “Our homework this week was to try to emulate their speech, and Harry and Ron have been helping me.”

Snape sat up rubbing his head.

“What happened?” Harry asked eagerly.

“Nothing that concerns miserable vermin such as yourselves,” Snape spat during an attempt to stand. “Go back to your common room and do whatever worthless things it is that people of miniscule intelligence do with their free time.”

“That stings, teach,” Ron said. Hermione elbowed him in the ribs

“Now is not the time,” she hissed.

Snape finally hoisted himself onto his feet and flicked his wand around repairing the room.

“Did any of you children see where that miserable man went?” Snape growled.

The trio shook their heads. A strange choking noise came from Snape’s throat and his eyes had the gleam of someone about to strangle small children. The trio knew better than to stay around Snape when he was in this state. Harry knew that just their mere presence could make Snape commit crimes worthy of imprisonment in Azkaban. They exited the room with due haste.

After a quick paced march up three floors, the trio stopped for a bit of a breather.

“Where to you think Lupin’s gone off to?” Harry asked.

Hermione didn’t respond, but stepped over to the nearest window and stuck her head outside, staring up at the night sky. After searching the heavens for a few minutes she pulled her head back inside and went back to the boys, who looked at her strangely.

“What was that all about?” Ron asked.

“Nothing, it’s just...it’s a really clear night,” Hermione lied. “You can see Sirius very clearly.”

“YOU SAW SIRIUS BLACK!!!” Harry bellowed, rushing to the window.

“Honestly don’t you two read?” Hermoine huffed. “Sirius the Dog Star. It’s a star in the sky. Near Orion, but I don’t suppose either of you know what that is either.”

Ron and Harry looked at each other and shrugged. Hermione sighed and gestured them to follow her.

“We’re going to go find Lupin, to at least warn him that Snape is in a very hostile mood,” Hermione informed them. “He’s probably out on the grounds.”

“I don’t know if I want to find Lupin. If he can rip apart a desk I’m sure he’d have very little problem ripping any of us apart,” Ron squeaked, taking on the tone of voice he usually reserved when spiders were discussed.

“He’ll be fine, there’s no full moon tonight,” Hermione said, trying to be very obvious.

“Well, if there’s no full moon then we’ll have little light to find him by, we’ll have to use our wands,” Harry said.

Hermione sighed and led the way back down all of the flights of stairs. As they reached the front doors they cautiously looked around them, eased open the great wooden portal, and slipped out into the night. They decided that they should look around Hagrid’s cabin first.

They reached the side with the woodpile first, and silently began to circle the cabin. When they reached the back they heard a misty voice coming from the paddock. The trio peeked their heads over the wall and saw to their great surprise Trelawney with her hands on either side of Buckbeak’s head, whispering to him. After a few minutes she took a small break and sat down on a rock near the paddock fence.

“Of all the professors to pick for the secret Santa drawing, it had to be Hargrid,” she grumbled. “Honestly I’m not getting anything from the hippogriff. I can’t prove his innocence if he won’t open his mind to me. I’ll be doing this all Christmas day I suppose.”

With a sigh and a swig of something that looked remarkably like Fire-Whiskey, Trelawney returned to her feet and approached Buckbeak once again in the proper manner.

The trio snuck to the front of the house next peering every which way, in hopes of seeing Lupin. He was no where in sight, then suddenly they heard his voice.

“I know he was trying to be nice, but it just triggered something in me,” they heard Lupin say.

Hermione went up to the window and cautiously peaked in.

“It’s Lupin, he’s talking to Hagrid about something!”

They continued to listen.

“What exactly was Snape doing?” Hagrid asked.

“I told you, he was trying to help get me out of my pre-well-you-know depression,” Lupin said.

“But that’s not supposed to happen for a coupla days at least,” Hagrid said.

“What’s not supposed to happen?” Harry whispered.

“Shhhh,” Hermione hissed.

They returned their attention back to what was going on inside.

“Christmas time always makes the depression come early. I was telling Snape about how when I was little my dad used to sing us “Twas the Night Before Christmas” every Christmas eve, and I guess he felt a little bad because he had been procrastinating making the potion and didn’t have it ready for me when I needed it, even though all of the teachers had been hurrying to get him the ingredients in time,” Lupin said, trying to explain what had happened. “He started singing it to me, but instead of making me feel better, his horrible voice made me leap into a wild rage.”

“Snape’s gonna be real mad when he finds ya,” Hagrid grunted.

“I know, to make things worse I think that I even knocked him out for a bit.” Lupin glanced down at the table and began to twist his napkin.

“Wait till ya see this!” Hagrid told Lupin, to try and take his mind off of things. “I made it special for Harry, Ron and Hermione.”

He held out a huge slab of wood on which were placed three HUGE rock cakes. One was molded in the shape of a mis-shapen snitch, another in the form of an open book, and the final one slightly resembled a rat.

“Wow...” Lupin said, “They’re great.”

“Ya think they’ll like em?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Well, professor, I been thinkin’, you don’ have no one ta spend Christmas with, and we can’t have you goin’ into the feast an all, so ya wanna spend tomorrow with me?”

“Don’t you have to go to the feast?”

“Nah, Dumbledore won’t mind,” Hagrid said.

“That’d be great. Thanks,” Lupin accepted. “I wouldn’t want to have a relapse of tonight in front of the students, and I definitely don’t want to be alone.”

“Well, you’re welcome here any time,” Hagrid told Lupin.

“Thanks, well, I’d better get going now, I’ll need to talk to Snape before he stews about it all night,” Lupin drained his teacup, shook Hagrid’s hand and exited the cabin.

The trio scurried out of sight just in time. As soon as Lupin entered the castle and closed the door behind him, Harry, Ron, and Hermione followed. They walked in silence until they reached the common room.

“Poor professor Lupin,” Harry said. “He has it even worse than I do, at least I have you guys for Christmas. What’s wrong with him anyway.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Hermione scoffed.

“Obviously it’s not,” Ron replied.

“Well, I’m off to bed,” Hermione yawned.

They went to their seperate dormitories. Harry and Ron climbed into their beds.

“Harry? What’s ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’?”

“It’s a poem that people say and sometimes sing around Christmas time.”

“Oh. G’night Harry.”

“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.”

“Go to sleep boys, I might not be able to sleep but your endless banter is still disturbing to me. Plus Santa won‘t come until you‘re asleep,” Nearly Headless Nick said gliding into the room.

“Fine, Good night Nick,” the boys said.

“Good night boys, and happy holidays to you all,”