Bad Joke Challenge! Options

[muggle5]

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Healer.

Healer who?

I'd heal her if I were you. That hag looks like a Mimbilus Mimbletonia.

[muggle5]

Once upon a time there lived a hag. Every morning she would wake up, water her Mimbulus Mimbletonia, and eat a brunch of tea and biscuits. She lived a simple life in her home resting upon the rolling hills that made up the valley beneath the mountains. She barely ever left the house, and even the daily milk was sent to her doorstep by one of the milkmen of the town. Her money was provided by a large inheritance that some would call "worthy of the Potter fortune", and she would often buy crazy and unneeded objects to fill her already filled townhouse.

Some said that on the rare occasion they were allowed inside, they caught her talking to her Mimbulus Mimbletonia once or twice. These townspeople believed that it was because of the fact that she was so alone in that house and began to make up friends of her own. No one knew very much about her, but they do remember the day she left the house for one of the first few times to begin a long journey.

You see, it was when the Mimbulus Mimbletonia became ill, that the hag decided to leave home to find some sort of healer to restore its health. She searched far and wide and asked many folk where the best of the healers could be found, and everyone directed her towards the mountains, where she soon ascended and spent two weeks fighting desperate cold and wind to reach a hollow cave very near to the peak. It was inside that she found six or seven healers sitting around, conjuring up magical medicines, and reading various books. The hag entered worn out, tired, and barely able to stand.

She was quite a sight to the quiet, lonesome healers. Using all energy she had left, she addressed them all in a raspy voice. "I am in need of your services to tell me the best way to heal a dying Mimbulus Mimbletonia. I pledge myself to your knowledge." The healers stood around for a bit, before springing into a huddle and whispering to each other. The hag waited patiently by the cave entrance. Abruptly, the healers turned around and one (apparently the most important) gave her all the information she needed to know: "Did you try giving it water?" he asked.

[chad13]

Why did the Healer take the Mimbulus Mimbletonia across the floo network?

To heal the hag on the other side!

[muggle5]

(This is a joke I heard a couple years ago, modified to fit the Harry Potter universe. I hope you don't mind. I mean, I thought it was pretty funny.)

There was once a quidditch obsessed healer who, on one of his rare days off, bought a ticket to see a match of the sport. Sitting in his front row seat, something very perculiar caught his eye. A hag (not one of the best looking people he had ever seen, but he stared nonetheless) and what was apparently her Mimbulus Mimbletonia enjoying the game. The plant would shake its leaves when the English scored, and droop when the Irish did. It would lean forward when the game was intense, and slouch as much (as a plant could) when it became boring. Sometimes it would even move the top part of it's body when the seekers would zip by as if it had eyes. The healer thought this was the most confusing and amazing thing he had ever seen.

When the match ended, he approached the hag and her plant. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help notice your remarkable plant. It's behavior completely baffles me!" he said.

"I'm surprised as well," replied the hag. "It hated reading about the sport."