Gred & Forge's Journal, Dear Diary... Options

[timeturner]

Gordy, you will not believe what Fred just did- G

Nobody saw me do that. You can't prove anything- F

Like Mum needs proof- G

Boys, I don't know what you did, but I hope your parental units severely punish you for it. It would serve you right.

You know, Angus, you're supposed to be on our side. You're our diary, remember?- F

Ahem, I thought we agreed to call it a journal- G

Whatever. All I'm saying is that Angus should be helping me get out of trouble, not wishing for my demise.- F

NEVER!

[lupinsmyman]

So maybe if you boys told what it is you did I might decide to help you. – G/A

Fred replaced Bill’s hair gel with gnome snot- G


Brilliant stuff really. Hardens on contact. He had a dome of bogeys on his head for two days. -F


Lovely. G/A

What Fred forgot to mention was that it was me who had too gather enough – well you know what- to fill up the jar. –G

Ginny had to help you because you were too scared that the gnomes would bite your fingers off -F

Aaaw was wittle Geowgey afrwaid off da wittle gnomes? – G/A

I feel so unloved. - G

You know I think I’ve decided to burn myself so I won’t be held responsible for the formation of the world’s worst wizards. – G/A

Don’t be such a wet blanket Ang! -F

Yeah don’t get your pages in a ruffle. -G

GoodBYE- G/A

Oh goodbye then,
George is scared of gnomes

Adios Amigo!
Fred and George better stop planning ridiculous schemes before I tell their mother.

Oh yeah? Well- F and G *mad scribbles smear the page as the twins try to write something offensive to Gordon until they realize that their “journal” has no legs and cannot possibly walk downstairs to tell their mother anything*

[McGonagall's Cat]

Angus! We are going to trust you with our most prized possession!

Gordon.

We're going to put you on top of the box so you can guard it.

Be still my heart.

Don't let Mum find it. K?

And what might this prize be?

It's -
It's -
Drumroll, please

Charlie's wand !!



Be afraid. Be very afraid!

[the finicky lady]

Yeah, and you know what we're going to do with it?

Don't want to, don't tell, spare me the agony...

What are we going to do with it?

Did I forget to tell you?

Apparently. I don't recall-

We're going to give it to Ron and see how long it takes him to break it.

Stop interrupting. Didn't your mother tell you it's ru-

Cool! Then can we put it back together and not tell Charlie?

Rude to interr-

No, but you did. Several times, I believe.

[QuidditchChick]

Oh joy of my desiring. If only I had vocal chords to scream with.

I have been abused over the course of this miserable existence far beyond my breaking point. I have little capacity left with which to store my outrage.

As if it weren't enough to be abused, ripped, forgotten and neglected, and tossed aside as so much rubbish...I've now been 'promoted' to guardian.

And of Charlie's wand of all things!

He's bound to find it. I surely hope it's soon, for he'll knock those bumbling bafoons' heads together!

Or better yet, their mother. Oh, she'd have a day if she knew what they were planning to do with it...

Oh spare me...I believe I hear footsteps...

[zymurgy]

BOYS!
I have taken the wand and restored it to its rightfull owner.
Would've been a lark! That was VERY wrong of you boys.
Be glad I didn't tell your mum.
- Dad.

[lupinsmyman]

How'd Dad find out?-G

Yea and how'd he know where to find Angy?-F

I thought underneath the flowerpot was a good hiding spot.- G

What? Don't look at me. I'm but a simple ( and greatly abused ) journal. Why would I want to divulge your secrets?- Gordon

Thats the last time we tell you anything, Angus.-F

Oh woe is me.- Gordon

[lupinsmyman]

You know boys, I have been sitting here for almost three months now. I feel unused and unwanted. If you cannot take time out of your busy summer schedule to write in me I will just have to make sure that you DON'T use me ANYMORE.

Fred: IUFD FGJ;GRIOjfjfie0-2e9fjdf

George: 1**Urggr:!!%

Gordon: HA! Are you sorry for your horrible actions?

Greoged:HRE

Gordon: Fine I shall lift my language curse.


Fred: Thank you!

George: Yes that was rather annoying. I think you've been soaking up too much of our ink, pulling a prank like that.

Fred: By the way, how did you do that?

Gordon: I don't really know. Another journal named Tom told me. Now be off with you before I show what else I have hidden in my pages.

[Aureola]

Hello Gordey, we've come to tell you something new. You've been making bad acquaintances. Your friend Tom recently died while trying to kill our sister.

How tragic! -Gordon

No, not at all. Rather sinister. Is this your way of revenging yourself upon us? -F

That's pathetic.

Agreed. -F

I would do anything to get rid of you dim-witted little creatures. -Gordon

Hey, who are you calling dim-witted here?! Hypocrite!

Dear Gordon, I'm sad to inform you that George has recently taken on to stealing big words from Percy. -F

Shut up. Anyhow, Fred has recently had the brilliant idea of sneaking into Ginny's room and reading in her journal diary.

It was a brilliant idea - in theory. You just shouldn't have been so loud while we were coming back down the stairs. -F

It was you who actually told her where we were coming from!

Aah, you know I can't lie to her face! She makes me feel so... -F

Guilty?

I'm ashamed. -F

I didn't know you had any scruples hidden in your twisted mind.

Good one. Don't insult me. -F

Anyway, now we are banned to our room for a whole 3 days! GOOD JOB, FRED!

Oh God. Someone - shoot me. Wait that won't work. Someone - Burn me.

You wish. Well, why do we need to go outside to think of some new wicked plans anyway? -F

Good point. Let's get to work.

Georgeina Ballerina!

and Fred - the empty threat.

Lame.

[Harry Riddle]

3rd year at Hogwarts -F

We dropped 2 dungbombs -G

...Disgusting -Gordon

And 3 troll-feet-stink-pellets –F

How do you stand it? –Gordon

We don’t know –G

But the do smell –F

[Harry Riddle]

you know Sirius Black is lurking about Hogwarts? -F

who doesn't? -Gordon

yes and also lurking about Hogwarts are these dugmetrs. Doometers. Dogmeater -G

dementors -Gordon

yeah, thats what he meant -F

hey I think Gordon is a bit more nice! -G

aaww...do you know if it wasn't for me you would be in detention? -Gordon

yes, yes thanks. how did you know Filch was over there? -F

us Journals have a way of Communicating with each other and his journal was a kind paged person and said the he would be over there -Gordon

Well we got to go now so bye! -G


Fred and George

There they go again but what they don't know is that Filch is going to be where they are going! ha ha! bad Mr. Tom taut me to read minds!!! -Gordon