Gred & Forge's Journal, Dear Diary... Options

[zymurgy]

Look here, boys. I like conflict and action as much as the next fellow, but spilling red ink all over my cover is simply NOT omnicoolbeans. It isn't even the slightest bit cool, and hasn't any beans. It is merely omniannoying and petty. I hate you.

Look here, Gordon, it was an accident. -F

More like a cataclysmic disaster. Just had to annoy Percy, didn't you? -G

Hey- WHICH one of us had the idea to seal his door shut! We didn't know he was actually IN there... -F

Nor that he'd be trapped in there for nearly an entire day.... -G

With no access to the loo... -F

No wonder he let loose at us. Never thought I'd see Pursed up Percy loose his cool. -G

He splashed mud, ink, cake, even TEA all over EVERYTHING. -F

So, Gordon, compared to us, you got off easy. -G

We'll be lucky if the damage to our hair leaves after twenty shampooings. -F

Even scorgify wouldn't make a dent in this mud... -G

Well, toodles, Gordon. We want to be sure to get time in the shower before Perce tries to seal US into a room. -F

It's no use rationalizing. I still hate you.

[McGonagall's Cat]

Whew! It certainly has been a refreshing change that those two twerps have left me under this bed for so long.
The boggart is great company, though I must say, the initial impact of it looking like a fire had me a bit concerned.

It must be close to the assorted holidays which clump together near the Solstice. And for that I will wish all of you the best (except perhaps those two brigands).

Love,

Gordon

[zymurgy]

I'm bored.
Very bored.
I've been down here, under this bed for a total of three months.
Over the weeks, I've been joined by three moldy socks, two pairs of pants, and what appears to be a partridge.
There are also several twigs and some pears which are rapidly going bad.
According to the partridge, the last time the boys looked under the bed was some time last Christmas.
I need some intelectual stymulation before I decend to the level of that stupid bird. All she talks about are the dust bunnies, and has a whole classification system for different types, which I suppose, is a step for scientific classification, but not necessarily for mankind.
I'm so depressed.
I'm cold.
It's dusty.
Something green and gooy has soaked my pages, and I think I've contracted pneumonia.
Merlin, I'm so depressed.
Wish it wasn't so dark down here, I can't even read what I'm writing.
-Gordon

[timeturner]

Angus? Is that you? -F

His name is Gordon, remember? He's not looking so good. -G

No wonder, he's been under the bed for awhile. Whew! He smells too. What do you suppose that green stuff is all over his cover? -F

Hmmm...I'd say either the failed experiment from last week or some really old porridge. No way to tell for sure. -G

Failed Experiment?! Failed is a little strong. There was no permanent injury and we were only grounded for a week. I would call it a moderate success -F

True enough. Shall we give Gordon a scourgify? -G

No time. If we want to banish Percy to the Albanian Forest by sundown, we need to get started. -F

I'll just put good ol' Gordo back under the bed for safekeeping then. -G

Watch out for the partridge that's under there. If that really is porridge, Gordon won't stand a chance. -F

[zymurgy]

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
A SCANDAL!
I SHALL CALL MADAM PINCE!

Now, all I need to get a message to her is an owl, a penknife, some ink and a bottle of Elmer's glue.

-Gordon.

[Azgard]

Dear Angus,

I wonder what he was trying to do? -F

It's still Gordon, and I think he was trying to send a lettre to ... Madam Pince? Who's that? -G

I don't know, but I do know that we did not manage to banish Percy to the Albanian Forest. -F

No kidding, mum caught us, I don't know how she did it, but she found us.... -G

We had Percy all tied up, I thought we were rather considerate, too -F

Yes, we had packed him some food, and he had a lot of string with him.... -G

Of course, that was because we had him tied up! -F

True! Mum didn't think it was very considerate though.... -G

No, she's taken away our brooms, I don't think that was fair. -F

No, not at all! If she had taken away our string, I could see that, because that was in some small way related to the vacation we were sending him on. -G

But our brooms had nothing to do with it! The indignity! -F

The indecency! -G

The unnecessary ... I think I hear someone coming. -F

Well, got to go Angus, until next time, George and Fred!

[Azgard]

Dear Gordon -G

Angus, old buddy old pal! -F

He's Gordon! Always has been, always will be! -G

Unless he decides to change his name... What do you say Angus, want
to change your name to Angus?
...
...
I guess not then. -F

We came up with a new potion -G

And we know what it does! -F

It's omnicoolbeans (your own word Gordon)! -G

What it does is it turns the drinkers skin rainbow colours! -F

Constantly changing colours! -G

And it lasts an hour! -F

But... well... -G

It has a side effect or two... -F

Only minor things really -G

Percy didn't seem to think it was minor... -F

Well, no, I don't think he enjoyed sounding like Ginny very much...
-G

Or the fact that his hair didn't change back to it's normal colour for three days... -F

Pity, I rather thought he looked good with green hair! -G

Blue would have been much better! -F

Mum was not pleased -G

We actually had to clean our room -F

With her watching! -G

And clean the attic with the old ghoul... -F

That wasn't at all fun. -G

But it was well worth it! You'll never guess what we found Angus! -F

Well, we don't know exactly what it is yet -G

But that's what we're going to find out! -F

Bye Gordon! -G

Later Angus! -F

[zymurgy]

Am I intimately connected with a duo of morons?
I suppose, 'tis my fate.
What DOES that blond man have against diaries, that he constantly stuffs them into other peoples' bags? I'm sure HE could have found interesting things to say. Maybe not nice, but interesting, and I'm sure I wouldn't be left about on floors, under laundry and such, without being written in for months on end.
I'm sure their invention is wonderful and grand, but that does absolutely nothing for me.
Merlin, I'm so depressed....
-Gordon

[lupinsmyman]

Guess what Gordy! - G

Oh what is it this time?

We found out what that thing we discovered is.

It’s a crystal ball- G

Would you mind telling me if I’ll ever get way from you morons?

Sorry Angus. We can’t for a few reasons

1: Mum’ll kill us if she found out. -G

2: Mum’ll kill us if she found out

3: We don’t know how it works. -G

But we’ve had a lot of fun convincing Ginny that she’s going to fall in love with some guy with a scar.

And that he’s defeated an evil wizard. -G

Like that’ll ever happen.

Hmm so how much more are you going to annoy me today?

I’ve –We’ve - alright we’ve had another brilliant idea. -G

Oh great, here comes Perfect Prefect Percy.

Got to go!
Farewell
Georgey Porgy pudding and pie kissed the girls and made them cry.

See you later Angus!

My name is GORDON!!!!

You’ll always be Angus to me!
Fred loves Percy’s girlfriend.

[zymurgy]

Dear Fred & George,

I expect my room cleaned, my homework done, and the Chudly Canon Posters that you stole back this evening. Otherwise, I might just accidentaly let slip what you've been up to to Mum.

Ron

[timeturner]

Dear Ron,

You expect us to do all this, do you? We're your brothers. You really should know us better than that.

We will not clean your room and we will not do your homework. We will return your posters, but only because they now say Ruddy Cabbages instead of Chudley Cannons and quite frankly we don't want them.

Furthermore, you will not let anything slip to Mum because if you do, we will jinx you within an inch of your life. Keep in mind, you can hide behind Mum during the day, but you need to sleep sometime. That's when we'll be there. Jinxing you.

Sincerely Yours,

Gred and Forge

P.S. From now on, keep your long, pointy, freckly nose out of our journal.

[zymurgy]

Boys,
A proposition - PLEASE throw me in with the ruined posters! Let Ron have me- he's ever so much neater than you are. He hasn't anybody to fight for the quill with. He doesn't leave blotches everywhere. And he didn't crease ONE of my pages.
Angus.
P.S. I promise I'll never reveal any of your secrets to him if you let me go. Including that rather nasty plan you had involving that Muggle bread burning devise your father collected.

[timeturner]

That hurts, Angus. I thought we were friends. -F

Ron? You want to go to Ron? -G

At least he didn't ask for Percy. -F

True, but still. -G

Sorry, Angus. We heartily deny your proposition. -F

And, we encourage you to watch your tongue, lest we revise our plans and YOU end up in Dad's bread burning devise. -G

[Azgard]

You know Fred, we could clean his room... -G

Have you gone mad?! -F

We could even do his homework... -G

Gordon, are you reading this? He has gone mad! Clean his room for him? Do his homework for him? -F

Yes, do as he asks -G

You know George, I think one of those potions you tested last week has had a very bad affect on your brain. I think we should see if we can get you to St. Mungo's... -F

Fred, I'm fine! But think about it... We clean his room, there wouldn't be a speck of dust left! No bed left, no dresser, no shelves, no anything! Even the carpet would be gone! -G

Hey, you know, you're right - -F

Of coarse I am! -G

We could make his room spotless! No trip to St. Mungo's after all. -F

And we could do his homework too, - -G

I draw the line at homework, I refuse to do the git's homework! -F

He never specified that the homework should be done properly! Imagine the answers we could give him! -G

Name: Roonil Wazlib -F

Question 1: I would like to be known as Weasley King-G

Question 2: Jupiter has a moon inhabited by mice -F

Oh, this is going to be fun! -G

Roonil Wazlib is going to wish he had never tried to blackmail us! -F

See you later Gordon! -G

Ya, we have some... work to do! -F

[lupinsmyman]

‘Ello Gordy!- f

Oh gosh, just shred me now!-

Aw you’re no fun ol’ buddy ol’ pal.

I’m not your “buddy”

We’ve got some news!

Other than you wreaking havoc on the world?!

One of our cousins is having a kid!

Well that's nice, as long as it doesn’t turn out to be like either of you.

Why not? We can teach the little guy everything we know and write a book about it!

We’ll call it Gred & Forge’s Guide to Life.

That’d be the shortest book ever written.

Gord, where’s your sense of fun?

The funny things growing under your bed ate it.

Well, toodles then!
Freddy loves his Teddy

Lovely talking with you,
Georgeina wears Mum’s dresses.

Thank God they’re gone.