The Letter Game - Random Correspondence, Non-MWPP, Non-Voldypants et al Options

[zymurgy]

17 August, 1976
Snape Manor

Zaphira Wigglesworth,
My dear woman, the ingredient I requested, Petrosilium is PARSLEY.
Kindly stop reading True Auror Stories, and consult an actual Herbology text.
In the meantime, perhaps the following shall be helpful:
Nytrobenzin is not the cause of an instantaneous death in doses under five minims.
Bitter almonds are not lethal.
Water hemlock is dangerous. The hemlock tree in your garden is not.
However, considering the intellect of the Witch they put in charge of communications, I fear the stock clerks and supply officers must be in a similar state of stupidity.
Therefore, know that I withdraw my business, (which has gained you a considerable sum in the past year) and will recommend that every brewer I know does the same.
I am sure I can find a reputable supplier elsewhere, that actually knows what he's talking about.

regards,
S. Snape

[McGonagall's Cat]

20 August, 1976
Slug & Jiggers Apothecary
Diagon Alley

Dear Mr. Snape,


The previous owl must have been crossed with another customer's order. We are quite aware of the potencies and uses of our Nytrobenzin, bitter almond pastes, and aconite.

In order to continue your patronage we would like to extend to you our deepest apologies. Enclosed is a coupon for 1 drachm of any item in our liquids department (exclusive of Acromantula venom).

Sincerely,

Agatha Crumwalt
Manager and
Assistant Powders Expert

[zymurgy]

Zaphira Wigglesworth,
Crossed in the mail? With my NAME on it? You must think me a moron.
Rest assured, my custom shall be spent elsewhere.
Good Goblins, such stupidity. I think I'll write to the Prophet!
Agast,
Severus Snape