The Letter Game - Random Correspondence, Non-MWPP, Non-Voldypants et al Options

[pinkpanther]

13 July
Venice, Italy


Dear Lily,
Oh, I have so much to tell you! First of all, try a little essence of murtlap on your blue spot--likely the poison in the plant wont let it heal, so the blue can't go away completely until it does.
Now, Aunt Alice and I left on the 8th and floo-ed to the inn at Marseille (it's a wizarding inn, so we didn't scare any poor muggles by falling out of a burning hearth). Aunt Alice, of course, insisted on being difficult: forst, she wanted tea, then she needed help lying down for her nap, THEN, she asked me what I was going to do while she slept, so I told her I fancied having a look 'round the shops. This, of course, inspired a 40 minute lecture on the dangers of a young female wandering about a large city on her own, but she finally wore herself out and I escaped. I was just heading out the door of "Le Petit Mouton" (that's the name of our inn--you know how abominable my French is, but is it something about a sheep?), when I (literally) ran into Frank! He and his family were staying there too! I suppose I should've guessed (how many wizarding inns can there be in one city), but my little joke backfired and I was just as surprised as he was! He was all of a dither for a moment, then he grabbed me and gave me a kiss on the cheek, right in front of his mother and his Uncle Algie! I was so shocked, and I think he was too, but I suppose he's had to explain all about us to his mum. Anyway, later that night, we managed to ditch our families and take a nice moonlit stroll along the docks.
We stayed two days in Marseille and I had nearly all of the second day to myself while Aunt Alice called on one of her stuffy old friends. Frank was out boating and I didn't care to sit on the beach (you know how my skin burns at the slightest hint of sun), so I wandered through all the fab shops on main street. Oh, Lily, you would just die to see them all! Naturally, I got you a present, but don't even bother asking me what it is. It's to be a surprise and you can't trick me into giving anything away this time!
The muggles there were so very strange--more so than usual. Oh, but no offense to your family, they're lovely (except for that awful sister of yours. I know you don't like me to say so, but she really does seem terrible. If she's bothering you at all, let me know and I'll send her some Devil's Snare!). Anyway, the muggles here are quite . . . abnormal. Perhaps it's because they're French.
Oh well. We're in Venice now and it's positively gorgeous, if a tad crowded and smelly. I hope to do some exploring here before we leave--it's off to Rome soon.
You must let me know how the little situation with the boys is going. I do hope you're keeping your resolve, Lily, because giving in to them all the time tells them they can get to you and they'll bother us all term.
Cheers,
Alice

[ronsmyman]

July 17th

Dearest Alice,

I am green with envy (with a slightly blue spot still, but the murtlap is working wonders, thanks!) I wish I had a wealthy aunt to tote me about the continent. Alas, I have no such relative so I must content myself with strolling about London. I've taken to haunting Diagon Alley, just because it's the only place that I am perfectly safe from Petunia. She is positively dreadful this summer, usually she just pretends that I don't exist, but ever since she started dating that terrible Vernon (what sort of name is that anyway?) they keep ambushing me all around town. I don't know how they're doing it. If it weren't for the fact that they are the biggest pair of muggles that I have ever seen I would think they knew how to apparate. Anyway, when they ambush me they love to sneak up on my and make snide comments. Vernon talks to me as if I'm nutters, which I think Petunia told him in order to delay having to tell him that I'm a witch. Apparently he thinks I spend the school years in a "home" for the mentally deficient. Honestly, the lengths Petunia will go to.

Not only am I jealous that you, unlike me, are away from this rainy isle for the summer, but you've met up with Frank!!! You didn't introduce him to your aunt yet did you? That probably wouldn't be the wisest move, because if she thinks you're more than friends she'll insist that she act as chaperone everywhere you two go, and you'll never have a moment alone together. Your aunt Alice is so old fashioned. I wonder what she would think of James' tactics. I can just imagine her..."what an appalling display. In my day when a boy liked a girl, he simply asked every senior member of her family for the honor of escorting her home from church. None of these criminal acts. The boy actually sends letters directly to her??? shocking, positively shocking...she doesn't return his affection you say? Well I should hope not. with hair like that does it not lay flat. In my day a man's hair always lay flat. I beg you Alice to tell your friend that under no circumstances is she to ever engage herself to this scruffy vagabond. I should be ashamed to know her, and even more dis-heartened to know that she was my neices greatest friend."

Le Petit Mouton is indeed about sheep. It means, the little sheep, erg, I hate sheep.

Ciao bella,
Lily

P.S. My resolve with regards to James is as firm as ever. It perhaps wavered momentarily, but the moment I let my guard down I saw why it needed to remain up, so I have refortified the walls around me and I am as impenetrable as ever.

[pinkpanther]

25 July
Rome, Italy

Lily,

Rome is absolutely stunning! I know you would love it here--there is so much to do! At first I was worried that Aunt Alice would bore me out of my skull with our "historical outings" (think dear Professor Binns), but the subject in the hands of a competent (and rather fit looking) wizard is fascinating (really!). The ancient Roman witches and wizards were so clever! And the plant life outside the city is most intriguing--but I won't bore you with that.

I am so sorry to hear Petunia and her little boyfriend are being gits. I'm telling you, just a tiny cutting of devil's snare . . . but I suppose that'd be difficult to explain to your mum. Seriously, though, please don't do anything rash. We're still underage and if you do anything to get yourself expelled from Hogwarts, I'll be absolutely beside myself, and you don't want my insanity on your conscience, do you? Actually, that gives me an idea. It's really wicked, but I don't care. Why don't you tell James and Sirius about how Petunia and Vernon are tormenting you? Most likely, they'll rush in to "save the day" (you know how James loves to show off), and then you'll be rid of Petunia, Vernon (it really is an appalling name), Sirius, and James all in one go! Admittedly, James would have to be pretty thick to fall for it, but you never know with him. Write soon and let me know what you do!

And, because you asked, of course I haven't breathed a word to great Aunt Alice about Frank. As far as she's concerned, no boy has ever struck my fancy and won't for several years, at which time a respectable courtship will begin (with the consent of my parents and in the prescence of responsible adults). Just yesterday, she lectured me for nearly two hours on the "abominable" length of my skirt. Apparently, in her day, flashing your shins around in public constituted public flogging (or so you'd think). We've a few more days here, then it's back to soggy old England. When I'm back, you should come stay with me for a bit. That would get you away from Petunia at any rate. I'll ask my mum if it's a go and let you know soon if the invitation is official.
In the meantime, think of Hogwars and all the fun we'll be having in a few short weeks. I am enclosing a large package of chocolate frogs (I found a shop here that sells all the normal sweets--thank goodness! Aunt Alice threw out my whole supply of Drooble's Best on the second night of our trip. She said something about my resembling a cow chewing it's cud and I'm sure the word "ladylike" was thrown in somewhere--it generally is). See you soon!
Cheers,
Alice
PS I'm so glad the murtlap is working! I'm sure it'll heal up soon--if not, Madam Pomfrey can sort you out I'm sure.

[ronsmyman]

30 July
Surrey

My only consolation,

I have been dragged, against my will to Surrey, Petunia and Vernon decided that it would be a grand idea to introduce their parents to each other, and as I am part of the family I have been forced to come along. I am lucky your owl reached me, I was forced to leave my own at home as I must appear a muggle in all respects for the entirety of our stay with the entire Dursley family. They truly are awful people, I don't know what Petunia sees in them. Then again Petunia always was a boring one, and the Dursley's are boring as mud. I have done nothing but daydream about Hogwarts since the moment I arrived. Vernon and Petunia are too busy trying to impress the parents to bother me. This was a relief for a moment until Vernon's sister tried to "befriend" me. This included quite a duffing up. I was horrified. I'd never met the girl, but apparently Vernon had told her I was terrible, so that merited a severe duffing. Mum and dad haven't even noticed the swollen lip. Frankly (I know what that made you think) I'm feeling very ill-used.

One month until Hogwarts. You must ask your mum if I can come stay as soon as possible. We leave Surrey tomorrow, and the sooner I leave this place the better. I feel sorry for anyone forced to actually live in this place. I'm sure that if I were forced to live within close proximity to any of the Dursley's I would be expelled from Hogwarts within a moment for breaking the restriction of underage wizardry.

Blast, that stupid girl is coming to torture me some more. I had better send this off before I'm caught with an owl, if I am it will be a grand duffing up Lily party and every member of both families will be joining in. Enjoy your last few days in Rome, and roll down that skirt you lady of the night, honestly, showing calf in public!!!

Dismally yours,
Lily

[pinkpanther]

2 August
Bath

Oh, Opressed One,

I can't believe that horrid cow! Well, I am glad to hear that you haven't done anything to be expelled for at any rate. Although I wouldn't blame you, personally. Well, if you're still there when this owl reaches you, have him poo on that dreadful git's head--and the rest of them too! I'm sure he would oblige . . .

Anyway, onto more important matters: I am home and the first words I spoke to Mum (after assuring her I hadn't contracted dragon pox, etc., etc.,) were to eplain your dire situation and beg her to allow you to come stay with us. Guess what? She agreed! We'll be in London on the tenth (in my enthusiasm to explain about you I accidentally broke a special mirror of sorts and we can only get it repaired there) and Mum says we can swing by and pick you up wherever you'll be then (so long as it's in England). Just let me know where so I can tell Mum.

Frank and I made plans to meet in Diagon Alley the week before term begins and I told him you'd come too--you will, won't you? You had better spend the rest of the summer with me or you could possible sustain serious injury, not to mention the suffering the intense prattishness of your dear sister & co.

Oh, have you heard anything more from James and his gang? I'm dying to know . . .

With hopes to see you soon,
Alice

[ronsmyman]

4 August
London

My Saviour,

Home, home, home, home. I never thought it would be so wonderful to be home where only Petunia and Vernon pick on me. I can handle emotional torture because they're not clever enough to come up with anything hurtful, but the physical torture I had to endure from Vernon's terrible sister was almost more than I could handle, and I now welcome the harmless insults of Petunia and Vernon.

I am ecstatic beyond belief that I shall be spending the remainder of the summer with you. I immediately told mum and dad who were disappointed to say the least that I am going away from them an entire three weeks earlier than planned, but once I promised to come home for Christmas they agreed to the plan (plus I think they have finally noticed how badly Petunia and Vernon treat me--took them long enough).

James and the rest of his miscreant friends have been scarily quiet for the past little while, although we made an agreement to meet up in Diagon Alley to buy books. I think it was the same day you were planning on meeting up with Frank, so it will be quite a jolly reunion, though we shall be the only females in the bunch and I'm not quite certain the boys will be perfectly sane, what with Frank trying to impress you and James trying to impress me and Peter trying to impress James and Sirius. Remus just might be the only other sane one present, not that your dear Frank is insane, he merely acts the part when it comes to you. Don't worry, I find it endearing.

Well, I have but six days to pack. I'm back in London and await you and your mother with bated breath. Fly safely!

ecstatically yours,
Lily

[pinkpanther]

9 August
Bath


To the Lonely Sufferer,
I hope you get this in time!
Mum and I will be in London tomorrow. We're flying into the city, but we'll take the muggle coach to your house (if we can figure out the money! It really is strange, you know . . . ) so that you're parents and those two worthless gits aren't frightened. We should be there about 1:00, so be sure to have your trunk ready and all your Hogwarts stuff gathered up. Don't worry about trying to manage all your things on a broom, Mum says we'll take the Knight Bus home (I do hope you aren't prone to motion sickness--it always makes me feel rather ill). Are you as excited as I am? I've just received an owl from Frank and he says that he's spoken to Remus and they will indeed all be in Diagon Alley when we go. A grand reunion! Well, I'm sorry this note is so short, but I really must dash. Mum wants help making the shopping lists for tomorrow and she say that since we're having company (you), I have to make the house spotless, which really just means I need to tidy my room--she's such an obsessiv ecleaner that the rest of the house is always way too clean. Oh, there she goes shouting at me again. I'd better go, but I'll see you tomorrow!
Cheers,
Alice

[zymurgy]

Dear Lilly,

I find I must request your assistance. I have always trusted your discretion and this is not something I can ask a teacher about. I have a Potion that is missing a key ingredient which, if not received in time, will cause it to congeal and become useless. I have no desire to waste any of the ingredients I have used thus far (they are quite rare and expensive) and so I am in need of some Spell to keep the entire cauldron in Stasis. Have you any ideas?

gratefully,
S. Snape.

P.S. Most of the ingredients are not herbal but animal, if that makes a difference.

[ronsmyman]

Severus,

Though I can't imagine why you're asking help from me in these matters, I shall strive to aid you. It's a simple solution, and sometimes not effective, but have you tried to stupefy the potion? I've also found a sort of "petrificus" spell to come in handy in cases such as these, although petrifying a potion can sometimes have a strange after effect due to the mandrake required to unpetrify it. if you are unable to remove the mandrake draught from the potion, it could ruin it entirely, so I suggest attempting to stupefy the potion before resorting the petrifying it. Although petrification is longer lasting that stupefying, which tends to wear off after a day or two. The fact that the ingredients are animal based may make the use of of a "petrificus" spell possible, as the organic materials may absorb the mandrake draft, without causing it to change any of their chemical makeup. Hope this helps a bit. I'll stew on it some more, and if neither of these works, hopefully I shall have come up with another option.

Lily

[zymurgy]

Lily,
I ask you for help, as I said, because I value your advice, and your discretion. Do you think a stupify would still work if I modified it with an elongator, such as the Alere. The Mandrake simply wouldn't work - the slightest impurity would ruin the lot and I shudder to think of the results an extra ingrediant would have.
many thanks,
Severus

[ronsmyman]

Severus,

An elongator would only stretch your potion out, making it utterly useless. I suggest doing a bit of tricky spell work by combining your stupefying spell with an impedimentia curse, it still won't be permanent, but it will last much longer, at least a week, and you can redo it without harming your potion. (I've tried it out for you on a less important potion, it works). Hope this helps a bit.

Lily

[zymurgy]

Lilly
Please. I am not a fool. I don't want to stretch my Potion the way a Weasley stretches soup. I want to stretch the other spell! If I cast the one on the other, wouldn't that have the effect of strengthening the Stasis?
S.S.

[ronsmyman]

Snape,

I didn't think you were a fool, but honestly, can you not learn to spell my name? There is one L, not two. If you want my help that badly, then make an effort to at least spell my name right. You of all people should know that if you elongate a spell, then apply it to a highly versatile and powerful potion, the potion will soak up some of the properties of the spells applied to it, unless the spells are combined by a highly advanced magician, you are quite good, but I'm not even sure if Dumbledore is good enough with a wand to handle that one without ruining his potion. I stick by my suggestion to combine stupefy and impedimentia.

Lily

[zymurgy]

Lily,
Merlin's Sweet Tooth! I swear that l wasn't there when I sent that letter! It must have been a Post Pixie!
Have tried both methods and they seem about equal in effect.
Much thanks,
Snape

[McGonagall's Cat]

17 August, 1976
Slug & Jiggers Apothecary
Diagon Alley

My Dear Mr. Snape,

The ingredients requested in your latest post are of a highly suspicious nature and any Apothecary not wishing to be put under surveillance by the Ministry would do well to avoid affiliation with such!

Perhaps you should try some of the fine establishments in Knockturn Alley.

Sincerely,

Zaphira Wigglesworth, clerk