The Letter Game - Random Correspondence, Non-MWPP, Non-Voldypants et al Options

[ronsmyman]

30 June 1976
Keswick

Dearest Alice,

We arrived earlier today, and after unpacking and a light supper I was given leave to roam about the place. It’s quite nice. When my parents told me we would be taking some sort of nature retreat, I was concerned that we would be stuck in a completely uncivilized place swarming with every nasty creature imaginable, but so far the only creature I’ve seen is a stag, he seems to be following me, I’ve seen him no less than three times. He has the most beautiful rack of horns that I ever saw. Maybe not as large as some others but they seem to shine like hair that is constantly brushed.

Tomorrow, my parents have decided that we are all going hiking. Ick. Walking about for hours staring at trees that are all the same, not exactly my idea of fun. Petunia seems to be enjoying herself though. She has this new beau named Vernon, that she is constantly writing to. I think she’s written him twelve letters already and he was the one who saw us off at the station this morning. I think Petunia and James would be perfect for each other they are both obsessive to a scary point.

Speaking of James, he has been writing me all summer. I know it’s only been five days, but still, he’s written me daily if not more often. Sometimes his letters are insufferable! His last one though didn’t reek of sarcasm and pomposity though. But I still know it’s there.

So, how are things with Frank? Has he finally gotten up the courage to meet you parents? Keep me informed, you know James scares away any hopes of my having a boyfriend while I’m at Hogwarts so I have to live vicariously through you. I hope you are spending your hols in a relaxing manner. We have to get together some time after I return to the city. Maybe I can talk my parents into letting us go spend a weekend in Bath, I’ve never summered there before and I always thought it would be fun.

Love,

[evlpez]

Letters to and from people who aren't covered in the other two topics go here.

[Quantamus]

2 July, 1975
Westbury Hills Estate, Bath


My beloved brother,

How are you? I hope you're not enjoying having the house all to yourself too much. I've still got to come home after all. Lucky I gave Kreacher explicit instructions to make your life miserable. Has he served you rat spleen soup yet? That was my idea. Good, wasn't it?

Westbury is beautiful as always. The Lestranges are simply wonderful hosts. They've turned your former room into an elf-execution cell; it seems they've finally adopted our family's tradition.

I think I shall leave it here then. Wish you'd come with us. Narcissa says she misses seeing you get chased by Mofo. Remember when he chased you into that disgusting pile of dung outside McFarland's farm? You stank for days. You still stink, in fact.

May the wisdom of the Mudbloods be yours also.


Your enlightened brother,

[pinkpanther]

Dearest Lily,
So sorry it has taken me this long to respond. My owl has been recovering from a broken wing and I wanted to make sure she was fully healed before sending her out. I'm glad to hear that your summer hols are at least interesting, which is more than I can say for mine. I haven't seen Frank at all since the we parted at the train station. His mum has planned a wretchedly long stay for his family in Southern France, so I can't see him for an entire month. Isn't that positively ghastly? Fortunately, though, He's going to stay a few days here in Bath when he gets back. I'm so excited! Mum and Dad have been dying to meet him--well, mum has. Dad couldn't really care less--and it's finally going to happen! Naturally, Frank is on the verge of an absolute nervy spaz, but he'll be fine.

What's all of this about James Potter? You know, he really has a lot of nerve to be stalking you like that. Perhaps you should send him a howler. . .but then who knows what he'll do back. He really has no sense of courtesy.

I wish I could go hiking, it sounds positively wonderful! Just think of all the fascinating flora you will see! Oh, you absolutely must gather some of the most interesting plants for me! There is nothing to occupy the mind around here, just drab, drab, drab. The stag sounds very interesting too. Just be careful. Wild animals can be dangerous, you know.

Oh, blast! It's nearly 3 o'clock, so I really must dash. I promised Mum I would dress for tea today because my Great Aunt Alice (for whom I am named) is suppossed to drop by today and Mum is determined that I be "presentable." It's absolutely dreadful because she is by far the most borish person you'd ever meet and she always comments on how my teeth will fall out because of the gum I chew. Honestly, you'd think I was a child!

Oops, there I go rambling again! You must write to me straight away about everything because I'm going bored out of my mind here by myself!

Cheers,
Alice

[moonbeam3243]

2 July
12 Grimmauld Place

Reg--

Fortunately for me, I never eat anything that Kreacher makes. Unlike some people of our "enlightened" family, I know enough how to take care of myself without relying up servant's whose greatest wish is to have their heads chopped off and put on a wall. How could the Lestranges want to continue such a practice? It's disturbing, especially at night when you have to go by them to get to the loo.

Glad you're having a good time in Bath. Why don't you all stay up there another week? I could use a break from being called the "waste of the family." I'm sure Mother's headaches are gone now as she doesn't have me to look down her nose at.

As for Mofo. Yes. I remember. Thank you kindly for bringing THAT up again. In return, may I remind you that you were the one that got slugged in the face with a dung-ball afterwards? Dung works so much better than snow, after all.

Honestly, why'd you have to ruin any respect I may have for you by using language like that at the end of your letter? In case you've not noticed, they're WIZARDS like us--why does it matter who their parents are? I just don't understand you. Don't you realize that who your parents are is pure chance? You could have been born to muggles just as easily as the people who are born to muggles. Besides, if you ever took your snotty nose outside of Slytherin, you'd see that they are really nice people after all. Look at Lily, that girl in my class; she's pretty as can be, a prefect, and smarter than you or I combined. Does it really matter all that much that she's not of "high" birth?

Hoping that you one day really do become enlightened--

[ronsmyman]

2 July
Keswick

Alice,

That is quite wretched of Frank’s parents, to separate you two all summer holiday! I would suggest that you assuage your loneliness by coming to visit me here in Keswick, but I think that if you were going to escape anywhere, you should go shock Frank by showing up in the south of France, out of the blue. What a fright his parents would get.

My mum and dad finally decided that since we’re in the heart of lake country we should go view the lakes. They are positively delightful. I would much have preferred to go up to Scotland and visit Loch Ness. I’ve always wanted to see Nessie, ever since you told me that she’s such a nice creature. I must admit I’m quite jealous that you grew up knowing that there actually is a Loch Ness monster. My parents still think I’m crazy whenever I mention it. I told them that you’ve seen it, and that your little brother actually got to ride it once, but they didn’t believe a word.

I found a bunch of strange plants for you, I’m not sure what they are, but then again, you’re the herbology expert, I only learn what we’re taught in class. I was wandering deep in the foliage, looking for more plants for you, when I saw the most gorgeous flower. I went to pick it for you, but it stung me and ever since, I’ve had the most atrocious rash up and down my arm. I took a muggle picture of the plant and it’s enclosed, what is it and how can I get rid of this abominable rash? It’s worse than having a spot!

I may have done something a bit dim, Alice. In a moment of extreme boredom I happened to be writing Sirius, and my boredom overtook me so I invited him to come and visit me in this desolate place. I wouldn’t mind him coming, but if he does, there’s no doubt that James will come too, and even though his letters have been quite sane as of late, I’m still not sure about him. Was I right to tell Sirius? Aaaargh.

Well, I really must be off now, mum has organized some ladies day here at the retreat. I’m expected to participate, though they’ll most likely do something ghastly with my hair.

Ta,


P.S. Here is the picture, tell me what it is and send me an antidote before my arm falls off, wait, that might be a good way to get rid of James...nah, it’s not worth it, I want the antidote.

[pinkpanther]

5 July
Bath


Lily,

First of all, thank you for gathering plants for me, I can't wait to see them. The flower you tried to pick is called sassafrasaphonia. You need't worry about your arm falling off, that would be absurd. Of course, if left untreated, it has been known to turn the victim a lovely shade of blue. Anyway, you'll have to find it again (I hope you didn't kill it, as they're extremely rare) and VERY CAREFULLY pull off three or four of the richest-colored petals. Crush these and mix with a little tea tree oil. Then just spread it on the rash and cover it with a bandage. It should heal in about 24 hours. If not, I suggest picking up some blue shoes to match your skin (I'm KIDDING!).

Now, on to more important matters, ARE YOU DAFT?!?! What on earth would possess you to invite Sirius Black to join you in the middle of nowhere? I mean, he's not a total wretch, but he's James' best friend. Of course he'd bring James! And even if he didn't, James would find out, hate Sirius, and devote ALL of his abundant free time to stalking you! Unless, of course, that's what you want. Please don't hate me for that, but, honestly, you have talked of little else since the holidays began. I wonder if, deep down, he might have a chance? Well, if not, it is entirely possible that a bit of potions class has penetrated his thick skull and he's managed to brew a love potion.

Now, the best news of all! You remember how I told you my Great Aunt Alice came for tea? Well, apparently, she was so impressed with my herbology marks last term that she has decided to take me along as her companion when she goes to Italy! AND we'll be spending a couple of days in Marseille, which means that I can (hopefully) hunt Frank down for a few hours at least! Isn't that absolutely spiffing? I got an owl from him yesterday and he said they'd be in Marseille for another week and a half, which is perfect, as Great Aunt Alice and I are leaving tomorrow evening. I'm in heaven! This couldn't be better! Well, perhaps it could if I were travelling with you, instead of a smelly old lady. But it's still better than sitting at home while everyone else is having a ball elsewhere. Oh, I nearly forgot. Don't let it slip that I'm travelling because I'm going to surprise Frank and I don't want word to get to him before I do!

Well, I must be off! I'm positively swamped with things to do before tomorrow! Oh, before I forget, I will try to find a picture of Milton with Nessie for you to show your Mum and Dad, though I know for a fact that we don't have any Muggle ones. Will a wizard photo upset them? If not, let me know. I'm sure we have extras because Milton was so hung up on that forever, pompous little bugger. OK, I really must dash!
Ta,
Alice

[Quantamus]

3 July, '76
Westbury Hills Estate, Bath

I must admit, Sirius, that I was rather thrilled to receive such a prompt reply from you. Perhaps you love me after all. Go on, admit it.

You never eat anything Kreacher serves you? Truly? Then I shall make sure he cooks something utterly irresistable, just so you can feel tortured.

I really have nothing to say to you except to express Mother's deep happiness that we are finally free from your abominable presence. I concur of course, as does everyone else here. I will certainly talk to Mother and Father about staying another week, though don't think for a moment I'm doing it for you.

So, my dear brother, what mischief hast thou been up to? Kreacher tells me (yes, I do write to the dear old elf) you are no longer in the house. Isn't that a rather strange story?


Your ever-loving brother,

[Quantamus]

3 July, '76
Westbury Hills Estate, Bath

Kreacher,

Find out what Sirius is up to. Make use of any means available to you, and if you must defy any order my brother gives or has given you, you have my permission to disobey. My authority overrides his.

I want a response by the 5th.

[moonbeam3243]

3 July
No where you know of, you slimy git

Reg--

You have your own vacation in Bath and I'll have mine.



PS- Kreacher couldn't cook something "irresitable" if he tried.

[moonbeam3243]

7 July
Locked in my bedroom, thanks to you

Reg--

I've told Kreacher that he has to deliver this letter to you and only you no matter what anyone says and that he cannot read it either. He'd better do as I say or I'll order him to chop his own head off and put it up on the wall beside his mum's.

I wouldn't want to break our delightful bout of not talking to each other, but I have two things to say to you.

1) That was a low down thing you did to tip Snape off to where we were. It had to be you; who else would associate with someone that greasy? Don't ever do something like that again, or I'll be sure to find the most vile hex ever created and place it on you every time I see you.

2) What are you playing at? I'm not as daft as you think I am. You've gotten mixed up with that Movement, that's clear as day, and for some reason you felt it necessary to find out what I was up to in Diagon Alley. Don't think I'm getting sentimental on you or anything--right now I'd hardly care if you were in the Forbidden Forest being eaten by rabid acromantulas--but just think before you get mixed up in these things. Do you really want to tie yourself with a group of people whose sole purpose is to hate other people? I know you don't like muggles or muggle-borns, but do you actually hate them? Would you kill some of them in cold blood? Would you kill Lily, or David, or Benita? They're all muggle-born.

Look, I don't know what you're up to, but its obviously something. Consider living your own life rather than letting you-know-who live it for you.

If you won't at least leave me and mine out of it.

[ronsmyman]

7 July
Keswick

Dearest Alice,

You must forgive me for not writing sooner. I was in a positive rage and I didn’t want to have to vent any of it on you. You were justified in your horror at my being dim enough to invite the boys to come visit me. They didn’t bother showing up, and didn’t contact me for days, I sent an angry letter to Sirius and a Howler to James, and all I got in return was a two lined letter with a lame excuse about Remus eating a bad whelk at Diagon Alley. Do they even serve whelk at Diagon Alley? When we were there last year picking out school books we must have searched the whole lane for decent food, all we saw was that ice-cream parlour. I know you’ll be kind and refrain from triumphing at my stupidity. I haven’t bothered responding to Sirius’s lame excuse for a letter, and I won’t write back ever again. Well, you know I lack resolve, so they’ll probably break it by sending me some really nice apology letter, but I shall try to maintain my resolve.

Thanks for your advice with the sassifrasiphonius. My arm is looking quite a bit better, though there is this one blue spot that refuses to go away, and when I was really upset, it started to throb and grow at an alarming rate. It’s a good clue to those around me that I’m starting to get angry. Though, I think I’d prefer to have my normal skin tone back. Is there anything that will get rid of the beastly blotch, or is it stuck there forever?

I’ve pressed all of the plants that I’ve collected, in between the large collection of Encyclopedias that they have here. I would give them to Auroleus to deliver to you, but I would prefer to wait until after you’ve returned from abroad, as I wouldn’t want any muggle border patrol stopping you and thinking that you’re smuggling drugs.

My lips are sealed about your trip abroad. I wouldn’t tell Frank for the world, but you must promise to send me a picture of his face, and what it looked like when you showed up. Have fun in Marseille, try out some of those new French phrases I taught you before school let out. Here’s another one for your pleasure, <<Pardonez-moi, mais j’ai oblié mon pantalon, est-ce que je peux avoir ton pantalon?>>

Bises,



P.S. A picture of Milton on Nessie would be positively spiffing, but is there any way you can get a muggle-type one? My parents are still a little wary about moving photographs.

[Quantamus]

7 July '76
Westbury Hills Estate, Bath

My darling Brother,

Clearly you are quite daft. What we are involved in is a most worthy cause that you would do well to join. Contrary to your belief, it is not my, or anyone else's, sole purpose to hate people. If you opened your eyes, you would realize that we are doing both the Wizarding and the Muggle world a great service. Stop your chidlish rebellion, Sirius. It would please me greatly to have someone of your talent among us. We could be brothers again.




PS. You are mistaken. I did not tip Snape off. I thought you would know of Master Snape's skills enough to know he doesn't need me to spy for him.

PPS. If you hadn't been gallivanting about London, I probably could have convinced mother to let us stay here for another week. As it is, we're staying only another few days. I hope you're satisfied.

[Quantamus]

11 July, '76
Westbury Hills Estate, Bath

Sirius,

On our way home. I didn't have enough time to recapture my lost rabbit because mother won't allow us to leave you alone any longer. Darn you. And I spent hours hunting for it.

Just wanted to warn you: There better not be any itching powder in my underwear drawer or I'll make Kreacher do awful things to your owl.

[moonbeam3243]

12 July

Reg--

Haha, Merwyn can take care of himself!

--S