Beedle the Bard - Story Thread Options

[McGonagall's Cat]

The Tales of Beedle the Bard


HELP ! ! !


I have been frantically searching for my copy of The Tales if Beedle the Bard and can’t seem to locate it anywhere. I need a direct quote from it for something I‘m working on, plus I want to have someone read to the kids from it at the Christmas party. Those of you who have a copy, please post it here in the story thread. It may need to be hand transcribed as these silly Muggle devices don’t seem to accept magical-world downloads very well.
If you only know part of it, say, the story of Babbitty Rabbitty and her Cackling Stump, or The Fountain of Fair Fortune, or The Wizard and the Hopping Pot, feel free to share whatever part you do know.

Please include the artwork, too/instead, if you can.

I promise to shower the best with accolades, amazing prizes, gratitude, and maybe even chocolate!


Thanks!


Oh yeah, I need it by the middle of September, say the fifteenth, if you can find your copy.


Thanks again!


In honour of an amazing Hopping Pot Story by Dancing-pony, submissions will be extended until November 26th, 2007, 11:59 pm Eastern Time Zone

This is your last chance! Find your copy of Beedle the Bard and post any of the other stories from that book, here, a.s.a.p.!!!.


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[zymurgy]

I believe I have somewhat what you’re looking for. I dug an old copy that must have belonged to my great-grandfather or something. Unfortunately, a lot of the words have been blacked out in ink and replaced with scribbles in three different handwritings. All the handwritten bits are in parenthesis, different ones in different colors. I hope this version is helpful to you anyway. On a side note, my Grandma claims that it’s a priceless artifact owned by Heroes of the War – but she always was a gullible thing. I mean, what kind of a hero would keep something like this? Anyway, here’s the text, as near as I can make out:


Early one morning a little witch was walking all by herself in the (Forbidden Forest.) Coming upon a cave and, forgetting the advice her (Care of Magical Creatures Professor),* entered it. Puttering about, she came upon three (cauldrons burbling softly) in the far corner of the cave.

They all (contained Calming Draught, ) but the first (had been ruined by overlong simmering and was, in fact, still on the flame), the second had (not yet simmered enough, ) and the third was just right. (but not yet bottled. )

Being a (helpful)young thing ( in spite of also being a rather nosy rule-breaker, she cast an eye out for the proper supplies and bottled the contest of the third cauldron. ) Once she had (labeled the bottles in a neat, precise hand), she continued her (unwarranted and highly nosy) exploration of the cave.

Finding a dark passage behind the (cauldrons),* she followed it until she came to a (broom shed. ) There were three ( brooms) in the shed. The first had been ( snapped in two, the second was not polished though I don’t think that effects performance – NB: Ask Hooch and the third looked to be in excellent riding condition. )

( Although she was the stupid sort of Witch that didn’t know enough to keep out of the Forbidden Forest she somehow managed to cast all the correct Charms for ensuring that a broomstick is not, in fact, hexed. Amazingly, this only took her twenty-five minutes and didn’t endanger anybody’s important Quidditch Games, nor cast doubt on anybody’s mysterious benefactors. )

( RON! That was a NECESSARY PRECAUTION! One simply CANNOT be too careful!
CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
Maybe if we’d HAD more of that we’d have noticed an imposter in the school sometime during the ENTIRE YEAR he was THERE!
Maybe it we weren’t so busy REVISING!
Merlin, you two should just admit you’re made for each other and give the rest of us a break!

At long last, she grew very tired and left the (broom shed) in search of somewhere to sleep. She came upon a passageway that led downwards and followed it to a cool, darkened cave. There were three rather messy beds of leaves.

(Ok, this nextpart is so stupid I’m not even going to TRY and change it! Merlin’s tomb! )

The first bed was obviously usually used by a Unicorn as it was composed entirely of heather. Fortunately, the little Witch knew that inhaling too much heather would react badly with the Potion she had taken that morning to prevent her nose from running.

The second bed showed, by the clear trail of something large having entered it, turned round three times, and lain there, as well as being made of thistles and gorse brush, that a Griffin made its nest in it. Since that bed didn’t look comfortable at all, she turned to the last one.

(Are we supposed to believe these animals were drinking pumpkin juice or using toadstools to sit on? I really hate it when children’s books try to teach things and undermine their own message! On second thought – NB: Cross Check in the Big, Bulky, Brown, Bohemian Book Of Animal Diets; ask Neville about how big Magical Toadstools get. )

The third bed looked immensely comfortable. The rose petals and puffskien wool which made it up were held loosely in place by threads of gossamer. Quickly checking that none of the fairies (So THAT’S who was drinking the juice! Still need to check the toadstool thing…) were still asleep in it, she curled up and laid herself to sleep.

Meanwhile, (Snape, Hooch, and Hagrid) entered the cave.

First, they checked how their cauldrons were doing.

( “It’s Codswallop!” said Hagrid. “Somebody’s bin messin’ wid my Potion!” )

(He only pronounces words that way, you cretin. He knows how to spell! )

( “Oh, splinters!” said Hooch, “Somebody’s been messing with my Potion, too!” )

( “Somebody has illicitly bottled my Potion,” snarled Snape. “50 points from Gryffindor!” )

(Even Snape wouldn’t take points if he really had no idea what House had done it! )

Uneasy at the knowledge that somebody had been in their cave, they continued on to the (
broom shed).

( “Sommat’s been ridin’ on meh broom!” said Hagrid. )

( “Somebody’s been riding on my broom, too!” said Hooch. )

( “Somebody has preformed detection Charms on my broom, too!” snarled Snape, spit flying. “50 points from Gryffindor!” )

(You can’t talk about a professor’s spit! It isn’t proper! )

Now really worried, (Hagrid, Hooch and Snape) continued on to their bedroom.

( “Sommat’s bin in mah bed,” rumbled Hagrid. )

( “Something’s been sleeping in my bed, too!” said Hooch. )

( “Some student has been sleeping in my bed,” snarled Snape, “AND SHE IS STILL IN THERE! 500 POINTS, MS. GRANGER!” )

(That’s not funny)

(Yes it is! You know how she hates to lose points! )

(Oh, if that’s all you meant, then. )

(You boys are such – BOYS! )

Awakened to see three ( Hogwarts Professors) looming over her, the little Witch gave a shriek of fright and ran away! (using Professor Snape’s broom for a little extra speed)

(BOYS! How DARE you scribble in my book? )

(GIRL! How DARE you leave notes for us in places we’re not supposed to be? )

(It might not be a text-book, but it’s still damaging! )

(You wrote notes in it, too! )

(Yes, but because I was STUDYING it! )

(Studying? Beedle the Bard? You’ve gone round the twist! )

(A culture is defined by its myths and legends, Ron. You’d do well to read some Muggle children’s books…)

(Hermione – Toadstools of the Magicus variety can reach a diameter of thirty feet. With proper fertilization, they have even reached 50. )

(See, even NEVILLE is writing in your book! Why blame ME? )

(Maybe she blamed you because you did it maliciously? I told her something she wanted to know and didn’t destroy the actual story. )

(Stuff a sock in it, Nev)

(Eat dung! )

( You’d NEVER say that to my face! )

(Want to BET? This time Hermione won’t petrify me for you. )

(Oh for MERLIN’S sake! Do I need to leave spare PARCHMENT in the common room for you two? )

(If you’re so smart, why did you leave THIS in the common room? )

*The ink is a bit faded here, I think the word under it looks like it ends in –ther.
*Also a bit faded here, too, word looks like pu—k-n----ce. No idea what it is – could even be two words. Very weird!