Catabute and Pezella's Fan Fiction Reviews, from The Two Old Hags Options

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For the past few months, McGonagall's Cat and I have been collaborating on something outside of Project Ferret. We write a monthy fan fiction review column for our affiliate, The Quibbler, on behalf of our alter egos, The Two Old Hags.

We've decided to share our articles with you and invite everyone to share links to other Harry Potter Fan Fiction (not sites, stories) you've come across and enjoyed.

When providing a link, please give us the story's title, author name and a brief review. Let us know a bit about the story why you liked it or disliked it.

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JANUARY, 2005 review of Truth and Consequences by InFabula at The Sugar Quill

Witches' Cauldron Stirring and Writing Review
by Catabute and Pezella (aka The Two Old Hags)

Our liaisons with the muggle world have reported a strange phenomenon occurring amongst their numbers. For some reason they seem fascinated with the everyday goings on in our world and have created vast amounts of fictionalized stories about us. Some of these stories are quite accurate and deserving of your perusal should you have a spare moment between chopping your desiccated dragon livers and de-gnoming your gardens. Some attempts at what they call “Fan Fiction”, however, should be avoided like plague-carrying fleas.

We have taken it upon ourselves to sift through the morass of stories out there, and discuss the various merits of certain ones in each issue of the Quibbler until someone overcomes the Entrancing Enchantment spell we've cast upon them, kicks us out and removes our brilliant literary discourse.

We proudly present The Quibbler's January Witches' Cauldron Stirring and Writing Review by Catabute and Pezella:

There are a few muggle fan fiction writers who appear to know some of the people from our world. One who seems to be on very good terms with the young James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin is InFabula. She has two stories posted at www.SugarQuill.net. Her story, Truth and Consequences is well worth putting your Lacewing Flies back into their jar and reading.

Truth and Consequences is a fictional account of that unfortunate night Severus Snape was told by Sirius Black how to get past the Whomping Willow on Hogwarts' grounds. InFabula has taken what we know about that full moon night and told the full story with clarity and detail, continuing the tale a little.

Excerpt, with permission:

(Snape) gave James a look of pure loathing. “I understand you came in to rescue me. Did you get cold feet, Potter? Decide somewhat reluctantly that my death wouldn’t be worth getting expelled?”
He turned to Remus, his lip curled in a sneer of triumph. “The one, tiny gratification I have is that you will be out of this school faster than Potter can fly.”

Like a fine wand, the plot is well crafted, with plausible story lines to support various as yet unexplained canon details. Twists and turns will have the astute witch or wizard enthralled, while keeping with the story as we already know it.

James and Remus come alive through her deft story-telling. Rather than writing Peter as the traitor of his later years, he is portrayed as the fourth Marauder in a quite acceptable way. Sirius seems true to character for most of the three chapters posted, though at the very end he is slightly out of character. Her intuitive portraits of the characters are so plausible that it may be said she knows these men better than she lets on. She may not even be the muggle fan fiction writer she claims to be, but a witch adept at scrying and possibly a seer of great talent.

There are a few punctuation errors (someone obliviated many of her commas), but on the whole, this is a very satisfying read with a great feel for the characters. We give this story four out of five doxies and encourage fans of Sirius and of Remus to apparate over to www.SugarQuill.net to have a peek.

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FEBRUARY, 2005 review of Byron by Ciircee at The Sugar Quill

Witches' Cauldron Stirring and Writing Review
by Catabute and Pezella (aka The Two Old Hags)

Words to Brew Love Potions By

As old hags don’t have a lot of experience in matters of the heart, writing a Valentine’s review is a little like cooking a major meal with a defective wand.  Still, we have endeavored to provide a sumptuous piece for you to feast your mind upon. This month's pick made even our hearts flutter a wee bit, so some of you younger witches may want to have a tissue handy. (Aside from Pezella - I swear I heard Catabute giggle at more than one point, if you can imagine!)

Byron by Ciircee is the repast we set before you this fine February.

It is a fun romantic romp.  Though it’s been quite some time since either of us have been invited to a proper wizard’s home for a dinner, thank Merlin, Ciircee’s depiction of the warm exciting atmosphere at the crowded Burrow is spot on.  You will almost be able to smell Molly’s cooking, which we'll admit is a bit different from our tastes but likely to please many.

Set in their seventh year, this story is about Hermione Granger and a cauldron-full of love letters from a mysterious admirer. The sensible Hermione shrugs them off, knowing she has no time to worry about boys. Her heart makes her keep them, because each one she receives reminds her of the kindness and support of her friend. 

Ron Weasley is portrayed out of character, but this is so touching and sweet that it's easily overlooked. Even Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley's performance as a couple is a bit out of character, but the writer makes up for it by being more accurate with the sensible and dedicated Hermione.

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Excerpt, with permission:

Ron stood abruptly and slung both his and Hermione's bag over his shoulder.  "Look, I sent the letter and the flowers. I spent all night in the library looking at poems and I snuck down to Greenhouse One this morning before heading to the Owlery just so that Hermione could have a love letter over breakfast on the day she has the most classes.  All right?"  He strode off without another word and Hermione could only shrug before following him and reclaiming her bag in the entrance hall.

"I don't think they believed you, Ron," she told him as they headed for Hagrid's hut and their Care of Magical Creatures class.

Ron shook his head and muttered, "I don't know why not."

"Possibly because it's you and it's me," she said by way of answer.

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Ciircee is obviously familiar with Muggle literature and has chosen to quote several excellent passages from the writings of Lord Byron, amongst others. It almost makes a Hag want to read Muggle poetry.  (Note to Pezella - Perhaps we should “Accio” a few good volumes from one of their libraries when they aren’t paying attention.) (Note to Catabute - They're never paying attention, dear.)

This author is quite prolific and is either an excellent writer or very adept at cheering and memory charms.  The descriptions, fullness, and attention to detail in her stories are so good that you can almost hear the owls wings as they deliver their messages.  In other works she shares tales of Hagrid, Neville, and many other people and places from our world, all of which come highly recommended.

This story rated a three out of four doxies, which might be more if her characterization were closer to the actual witches and wizards. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. May all your love potions work swiftly and to your liking.