Our Weekly Winners and Complete Yule Duel Story! Options

[agrippa]

The winner of the first week's duel is:

Mysterious Happenings to Ponder by McGonnagal's Cat


The winner of round 2 is:

Happy Holidays? by Pinkpanther


The winner of round 3 is:

Gangs of Hogwarts by Pinkpanther


The winner of round 4 is:

Simple Solutions and Simple Minds by ronsmyman


The Grand Prize for overall favorite submission goes to Zymurgy, for Introducing Big Chief Mugamook


Congratulations to all 4 of our winning Yule Duel writers, and many thanks to all the writers in our first ever Official Project Ferret Duel!


This post has been edited by McGonagall's Cat: Jun 21 2006, 06:33 PM

[evlpez]

Here is your Yule Duel story:

Chapter One

Mysterious Happenings To Ponder - McGonnagal's Cat



A mere two hours earlier Hagrid had been so distraught over the notice of Buckbeak’s trial that Harry, Ron, and Hermione couldn’t believe they were seeing the same person. Coming in to dinner, Hagrid seemed happy! Not only did he walk in humming to himself, but he seemed to be pleasantly lost in thought most of the time everyone was eating. Then when dinner was over he rushed back to his house before anyone had a chance to speak with him. While Hermione was glad he’d found something to take his mind of Buckbeak’s dilemma, she had discovered a bit of information in a library book that could help Buckbeak's case and she needed to talk with him right away.

Instead of heading for the Common Room after supper with Ron and Harry, she went to Hagrid's hut and knocked on the door. Hagrid shouted through the door that he wasn’t receiving visitors. Puzzled, she knocked again, saying who she was. Hagrid’s door creaked open just enough to see a tiny portion of his smudged sweaty face, and to allow a wisp of black smoke to curl out above his head. Fang clawed at the crack, desperate to escape through it, too.

Hagrid distractedly mumbled, “Go ‘way, Her-my-nee. I'm making... oops. Shunta said that.”

“But, Hagrid. I need to talk with you, I just found…” she started to say.

But, before she could finish her sentence Hagrid interrupted with, “ ’Can’ righ now. Come back t’morra , I dunno, mebby four or so.”

Startled, Hermione blurted, “But, Hagrid!..."

His door thunked shut before she could complete the sentence, and she heard rapid bootsteps rush away from it For a moment Hermione stood there with her mouth hanging open. Shocked, she hurried back to the Castle, finding Harry and Ron playing Wizard Chess in the Common Room.

“I’m really worried about Hagrid!” she interrupted, relating what had just occurred. “The last time he acted like this he was hiding Norbert’s egg! This is too suspicious.”

“Ya, I know what you mean!” Ron said as he stuffed a chocolate frog into his mouth. “I saw him carrying this humongous box right before dinner, and when he saw me he tried to hide it behind his back. It stuck out on both sides of him. Silly, really.”

Harry looked worried. “What do you think he's hiding?”

Ron shook his head and said, “Dunno, but it makes me nervous. Come to think about it, everybody’s acting a little weird. I heard Seamus say before he left, that he’d heard a couple Hufflepuff girls talking about Professor Sprout sending Snape a FLOWER!”

“What?” Harry said, recoiling at the mental image.

“Ya, I was on my way up to the Common Room and he was talking with Dean and a few others. Said he’d heard these two girls chatting outside the Girl’s Lavatory. Hmmm, wonder why he was outside the Girl’s Lavatory?” Ron’s voice trailed off, distractedly contemplating the situation.

“We’ve got to find out what he’s up to!” Hermione brought the conversation back to Hagrid. “Come on, we can talk as we walk. Harry grab your, “ she made motions to indicate the Invisibility Cloak, but the boys were being especially dense, thinking more about their next chess move. ” … cloak already! How thick can you get?”

“But we’re right in the middle of a …” both boys said in unison, loosing the momentum of their argument at Hermione’s glare.

A few moments later the trio found themselves in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. As their footsteps echoed off the walls, a giggle was heard from one of the stalls.

“Have you come to wish me a happy Holiday, Harry?” Myrtle said in her flirty sing-song voice as she rose above the stall door.

Startled a bit, Harry replied with a grin, “Urm, well, sure. Happy Holidays, Myrtle.”

“Yes! Happy Holidays, Myrtle.” Hermione and Ron chimed in.

Myrtle giggled again and floated over their heads as they devised a plan. They had ducked into the bathroom to figure out how best to get to Hagrid’s hut now that the sun was down. Harry unfolded the Marauder’s Map onto one of the sink tops, so they all could see it easily, without accidentally being discovered by a teacher, or worse, Filch. The trick seemed to be how best to get to Hagrid’s without anyone noticing Harry being out of the dorm and castle after dark. It was amazing to see so few dots moving around on the Map. Finally they settled on using the greenhouse exit and sticking close to the forest as they walked to Hagrid's. Myrtle interrupted them with a high-pitched shriek.

“Oh Harry, you can’t go that way!” she tittered shrilly, “There is a big black dog that lurks near those trees now, by the big rocks, the menhirs.” Zooming around the ceiling disconcertingly, she added in an airy voice, “It sits there watching the students... Except when it goes to the Whomping Willow it sings sad holiday songs and mutters about being in Hogwarts.” She zoomed around the room cackling then dived behind a stall door with a swoosh.

“Harry! It’s the Grim! We can’t let you go out there!” Hermione’s eyes were wide as saucers, panic evident in her voice.

“Aw, she’s NUTTERS, Harry!” Ron said flatly, still looking at the map. “What kind of a dog sings? I mean, really!”

Just then the door burst open and Professor Sprout briskly marched into the lavatory.

“What is all this noise?” she demanded. “Why are you BOYS in the Girl’s Lavatory?! This is highly irregular!”

Hermione, thinking quickly, distracted Professor Sprout by saying that they were curious about Moaning Myrtle and had come in to see if they could find her in this bathroom. Harry slid the quickly folded Map surreptitiously into his pocket, and smoothed his robe over the Cloak hidden beneath.

“Well, all of you, get up to Gryffindor Tower immediately. Especially you, Mr. Potter!” Professor Sprout said bruskly, but with a smile. “This is no place for students at this time of night.”

“But, Professor…. It’s not yet seven o’clock.” Harry chimed in.

“Ahem, yes, well… still… I’ve got to deliver this bit of asphodel to your Potions Master,” she indicated a lily she was carrying in her hand, “…and things are just too dangerous around here for you to be out of your Tower right now. Please go to your Common Room. And stick together!”

The trio looked from eachother to the flower and back. Professor Sprout ushered them into the hall where they dutifully head down the hallway and up the stairs toward Gryffindor’s dorms.

“What are we going to do now to find out what Hagrid is hiding in his hut?” Hermione mumbled dejectedly as they reached the Portrait entrance.

Sir Cadogan brandished his sword at them, shouting, “Ask him you scurvy nave! Password?”

[evlpez]

Chapter Two

Happy Holidays? - pinkpanther



Int: Boys dormitory, early morning.

(Harry sits up in bed, aware of the familiar feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach and an icy fear spreading over his whole body. His bed curtain ruffles slightly. Terrified, he throws it open to reveal two hooded dementors gliding towards him. He tries to scream, but no sound comes. They move closer and one of them stretches out it's hand and touches his shoulder. Surprised that he's still alive, Harry looks at the dementors as the other one also grabs his shoulder and proceeds to shake him. Confused, Harry slaps it away, amazed at his own boldness. Suddenly, one of the dementors turns to the other and says, "Sheesh, you'd think he was sampling Madame Rosmerta's hippocras! Maybe we should throw water on him.")

HARRY (opening his eyes)
What?!

FRED
Just joking, mate! What kind of a dream were you having anyway? You were making the best facial expressions!

GEORGE
Yeah, we decided that we should try to replicate them, you know, as masks, but I think that's beyond even our skill.

HARRY (grumpily)
That's what I've always wanted, to have my face replicated as a mask by you too...mind my asking why you're here?

FRED (in a sarcastically concerned voice)
Alas, poor soul, sleep has befuddled his already weak mind!

GEORGE
Too true, you'd think that he could remember quidditch practice on this fine morning!

FRED
Especially at this lovely hour (he glares out the window at the barely risen sun).
Anyway, Harry, Wood wants us all on the field in ten minutes, so don't take too long primping.

(They leave and Harry drags himself out of bed, trying to remember his dream so that he and Ron can interpret it for their divination homework.)

Int. Later that day, on the way to Hagrid's.


RON
Maybe Hagrid's just getting evidence to help with Buckbeak's case.

HERMIONE(rolling her eyes)
If that's what he was doing, he wouldn't have been so secretive.

HARRY
Ron could be right, I mean, we don't know if he was hiding something in that box. Maybe he was just holding it funny.

HERM
Don't be thick! Just because you two don't care if Hagrid's in trouble...

RON
We never said that!

HARRY (attempting to ward off a new spat between Ron and Hermione)
We were just trying to think of a reasonable posibility before we suspect Hagrid of doing something...

HERM
What's wrong?

HARRY (aghast,pointing at Hagrid's hut)
Trelawney! She just went in Hagrid's back door!

RON
I didn't know she ever left her precious tower!

HERM
Harry, are you sure?

HARRY
Positive, come on, let's go look in the window.

HERM
Should we be spying on Hagrid?

RON
Come on, Hermione, he's hiding something from us, remember?

(They run stealthily to the hut and crouch under the small, dirty window, which is cracked enough at the bottom to allow them to hear everthing going on inside)

HAGRID
Do ya think we'll have time fer all a that, what with som a tha students stayin' over tha holiday an' all.

HERM (whispering)
Maybe this all has something to do with Professor Sprout giving Snape flowers and that dog everyone keeps seeing!

RON
It's a grim.

HARRY
Shut up before you give us away!

TRELAWNEY
The heavens have informed me that all will go well. As soon as Severus has prepared the arnica, we may rest assured that they will not get out of hand.

HAGRID (unconvinced)
I still don' see how it'll work. If ya ask me, it's best ta--

TRELAWNEY (shrilly)
Do you doubt my mantic abilities? I have volunteered to spend the entire holiday preparing--you have no idea what work! And...

HAGRID
Now, jus' hol' on a minute, I wasn't sayin' yer not capable...it's jus'...well, what does Dumbledore think?

TRELAWNEY (somewhat placated, but still miffed)
HE has complete confidence in my inner eye! If you don't mind, I must be going.

(The trio prepare to move out of sight, but when they turn around, they are blocked by a massive, black dog. They remain frozen, in complete view of the hut's door, as the dog moves closer.)

[evlpez]

Chapter Three

Gangs of Hogwarts - pinkpanther

(This is not a parody of the movie "Gangs of New York" because I have never seen it. It is about gangsters infiltrating the world of Hogwarts--the title just had a nice ring to it. Also, no gangsters were harmed in the making of this parody...I think.)
INT. The trio are frozen with fear, trapped by a huge black dog on one side and certain discovery on the othe other. The dog moves closer, breathing heavily, hungrily. He inches toward Hermione, menacingly, as the drool drips from his mouth. She cowers, trembling in fear. Suddenly, a huge dollop of slobber drips from the dog's razor-sharp fangs and splats on Hermione's shiny, black shoe.

HERM. (waving her finger)
Uh-uh, you did NOT!
(The dogs backs away, whimpering. He gives them one sad look and bounds away as the door to Hagrid's hut opens and Hagrid and Trelawney come outside. Trelawney sees them, gasps, and runs away.)

HAGRID
Hey! What're yeh three doin' ou' 'ere? An' wha' was that dog doin'?

RON
Shut yo mouth, fool, 'fore I bust a cap all up in here!

HARRY
Foshizzle. (He and Ron hit their fists together)

HAGRID
Wha'? Now you tell me wha' tha' dog was doin' 'ere or I'll...I'll...tell Professor Dumbledore yer out when ye should be in tha castle!

HERM.
Chill, yo. That was just my homey g-dawg. It's all good.

HAGRID
Oh well, yeh'd best get up to the castle...unless, o' course, yeh were wantin' ta talk ta me.

RON
Naw, peace-out, man. (He beats his chest twice and makes the peace sign. They head toward the school.)

HARRY
Could be Lupin knows what's cookin'...let's make a stop on his turf.
(they all nod and quicken their pace. They enter the castle and are almost to Lupin's office, when Crookshanks, dressed in a baby bonnet and frilly pink slippers, comes tearing around the corner closely followed by Parvati and Lavender.)

PARVATI
AW...baby kitty, come back! You look so sweet!

HERM (angrily)
Whatcha doin' to my cat, ho?

LAVENDER(GASPS)
We were just making him pretty!

HERM
Uh-uh, ho, it's on!

PARVATI
Bring it.

HERM
Your mama can bring it. (Lavender, Parvati, and Hermione begin yelling insults, slapping, scratching, and otherwise injuring one another)

HARRY
Chick fight, yo!

RON
Word.
(Suddenly, Snape enters the hallway, carrying a bunch of wolfsbane.)

SNAPE
SILENCE! 100 points from Gryffindor!

HERM (mumbling so Snape can't hear)
Bite me, fool.

SNAPE
Unfortunately, I don't have the time to pry the details of this little spat out of your worthless brains due to...well...the early occurence... (He regains his composure) I trust you can either reach a decent compromise or you will all be dining on wormwood for the rest of the year! (He hurries down the hall to Lupin's office)

RON (pulling a very bedraggled Scabbers from his pocket)
You can take Scabbers, he needs a little fixin' up.

LAVENDER
Really?

RON
If you give me a little sumpin' sumpin' (he puckers up).

LAVENDER
I'd rather sniff Cruciatus Candy Crystals! (She and Parvati leave. Ron shrugs and he, Harry, and Hermione go to the door to Lupin's office. They pause for a moment and, hearing nothing, they enter. The sight is gruesome. The window is broken, leaving shards of glass all over the room. Snape is lying on the floor, unconcious, but still alive. Lupin is nowhere in sight)

HERM
I knew it!

[evlpez]

Chapter Four

Simple Solutions and Simple Minds - ronsmyman

At Hermione’s exclamation Snape began to stir. The trio went and bent over him. He groaned and his eyes fluttered open.

“Aaaaaaaagh!” He screamed as he saw the three faces very close to his own. “What in the name of all that is wizardly did you do that for. I think I’m going to have a heart attack. Fifty points from Gryffindor!”

“Professor! That’s whack!” The trio exclaimed.

“You know what is ‘whack’?” Snape said stiffly. “Your Ebonics skills.”

“We’re studying American muggles in muggle studies,” Hermione said, “Our homework this week was to try to emulate their speech, and Harry and Ron have been helping me.”

Snape sat up rubbing his head.

“What happened?” Harry asked eagerly.

“Nothing that concerns miserable vermin such as yourselves,” Snape spat during an attempt to stand. “Go back to your common room and do whatever worthless things it is that people of miniscule intelligence do with their free time.”

“That stings, teach,” Ron said. Hermione elbowed him in the ribs

“Now is not the time,” she hissed.

Snape finally hoisted himself onto his feet and flicked his wand around repairing the room.

“Did any of you children see where that miserable man went?” Snape growled.

The trio shook their heads. A strange choking noise came from Snape’s throat and his eyes had the gleam of someone about to strangle small children. The trio knew better than to stay around Snape when he was in this state. Harry knew that just their mere presence could make Snape commit crimes worthy of imprisonment in Azkaban. They exited the room with due haste.

After a quick paced march up three floors, the trio stopped for a bit of a breather.

“Where to you think Lupin’s gone off to?” Harry asked.

Hermione didn’t respond, but stepped over to the nearest window and stuck her head outside, staring up at the night sky. After searching the heavens for a few minutes she pulled her head back inside and went back to the boys, who looked at her strangely.

“What was that all about?” Ron asked.

“Nothing, it’s just...it’s a really clear night,” Hermione lied. “You can see Sirius very clearly.”

“YOU SAW SIRIUS BLACK!!!” Harry bellowed, rushing to the window.

“Honestly don’t you two read?” Hermoine huffed. “Sirius the Dog Star. It’s a star in the sky. Near Orion, but I don’t suppose either of you know what that is either.”

Ron and Harry looked at each other and shrugged. Hermione sighed and gestured them to follow her.

“We’re going to go find Lupin, to at least warn him that Snape is in a very hostile mood,” Hermione informed them. “He’s probably out on the grounds.”

“I don’t know if I want to find Lupin. If he can rip apart a desk I’m sure he’d have very little problem ripping any of us apart,” Ron squeaked, taking on the tone of voice he usually reserved when spiders were discussed.

“He’ll be fine, there’s no full moon tonight,” Hermione said, trying to be very obvious.

“Well, if there’s no full moon then we’ll have little light to find him by, we’ll have to use our wands,” Harry said.

Hermione sighed and led the way back down all of the flights of stairs. As they reached the front doors they cautiously looked around them, eased open the great wooden portal, and slipped out into the night. They decided that they should look around Hagrid’s cabin first.

They reached the side with the woodpile first, and silently began to circle the cabin. When they reached the back they heard a misty voice coming from the paddock. The trio peeked their heads over the wall and saw to their great surprise Trelawney with her hands on either side of Buckbeak’s head, whispering to him. After a few minutes she took a small break and sat down on a rock near the paddock fence.

“Of all the professors to pick for the secret Santa drawing, it had to be Hargrid,” she grumbled. “Honestly I’m not getting anything from the hippogriff. I can’t prove his innocence if he won’t open his mind to me. I’ll be doing this all Christmas day I suppose.”

With a sigh and a swig of something that looked remarkably like Fire-Whiskey, Trelawney returned to her feet and approached Buckbeak once again in the proper manner.

The trio snuck to the front of the house next peering every which way, in hopes of seeing Lupin. He was no where in sight, then suddenly they heard his voice.

“I know he was trying to be nice, but it just triggered something in me,” they heard Lupin say.

Hermione went up to the window and cautiously peaked in.

“It’s Lupin, he’s talking to Hagrid about something!”

They continued to listen.

“What exactly was Snape doing?” Hagrid asked.

“I told you, he was trying to help get me out of my pre-well-you-know depression,” Lupin said.

“But that’s not supposed to happen for a coupla days at least,” Hagrid said.

“What’s not supposed to happen?” Harry whispered.

“Shhhh,” Hermione hissed.

They returned their attention back to what was going on inside.

“Christmas time always makes the depression come early. I was telling Snape about how when I was little my dad used to sing us “Twas the Night Before Christmas” every Christmas eve, and I guess he felt a little bad because he had been procrastinating making the potion and didn’t have it ready for me when I needed it, even though all of the teachers had been hurrying to get him the ingredients in time,” Lupin said, trying to explain what had happened. “He started singing it to me, but instead of making me feel better, his horrible voice made me leap into a wild rage.”

“Snape’s gonna be real mad when he finds ya,” Hagrid grunted.

“I know, to make things worse I think that I even knocked him out for a bit.” Lupin glanced down at the table and began to twist his napkin.

“Wait till ya see this!” Hagrid told Lupin, to try and take his mind off of things. “I made it special for Harry, Ron and Hermione.”

He held out a huge slab of wood on which were placed three HUGE rock cakes. One was molded in the shape of a mis-shapen snitch, another in the form of an open book, and the final one slightly resembled a rat.

“Wow...” Lupin said, “They’re great.”

“Ya think they’ll like em?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Well, professor, I been thinkin’, you don’ have no one ta spend Christmas with, and we can’t have you goin’ into the feast an all, so ya wanna spend tomorrow with me?”

“Don’t you have to go to the feast?”

“Nah, Dumbledore won’t mind,” Hagrid said.

“That’d be great. Thanks,” Lupin accepted. “I wouldn’t want to have a relapse of tonight in front of the students, and I definitely don’t want to be alone.”

“Well, you’re welcome here any time,” Hagrid told Lupin.

“Thanks, well, I’d better get going now, I’ll need to talk to Snape before he stews about it all night,” Lupin drained his teacup, shook Hagrid’s hand and exited the cabin.

The trio scurried out of sight just in time. As soon as Lupin entered the castle and closed the door behind him, Harry, Ron, and Hermione followed. They walked in silence until they reached the common room.

“Poor professor Lupin,” Harry said. “He has it even worse than I do, at least I have you guys for Christmas. What’s wrong with him anyway.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Hermione scoffed.

“Obviously it’s not,” Ron replied.

“Well, I’m off to bed,” Hermione yawned.

They went to their seperate dormitories. Harry and Ron climbed into their beds.

“Harry? What’s ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’?”

“It’s a poem that people say and sometimes sing around Christmas time.”

“Oh. G’night Harry.”

“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.”

“Go to sleep boys, I might not be able to sleep but your endless banter is still disturbing to me. Plus Santa won‘t come until you‘re asleep,” Nearly Headless Nick said gliding into the room.

“Fine, Good night Nick,” the boys said.

“Good night boys, and happy holidays to you all,”