Fair Snape Fell, Release Your Inner Chaucer Options

[zymurgy]

Because Zymurgy found out there's a place called Fair Snape Fell, and because Cat pointed out that that sounded like the title of a ballad, it is now YOUR job to write it!

You have until May 31st at midnight to create a poem about Fair Snape and how he fell. It can be in any style as long as it tells a story.

For inspiration, I offer:

Fair Snape fell upon the hill,
And broke his handsome nose,
And now fair Snape's no longer fair,
As its crooked towards his toes.

I'm sure you can all do MUCH better than that, so consider yourselves challenged!

The Winner receives accolades and laurels and a special spiffy graphic for siggy purposes.

[McGonagall's Cat]

Marauders

Beneath the beech tree four did sit,
in boredom cast a spell.
Lily Evans was upset,
and that's when Fair Snape Fell!




Dunk Tank

He went down to the carnival
his duty to fulfill.
But when the dunktank clanged its bell,
chagrinned, the Fair Snape Fell!



Attitude Adjustment
The Fair Snape Fell
beside the way.
Now not-so-fair
is here to stay!


Nature vs Nurture

Fair Snape Fell
to powers Dark,
early damage
leaves a mark....



(apologies in advance for this next one)

Stretching 4-4-6

Oh, ye I'll tell
how Fair Snape Fell
while in the Hogsmeade Del-(I)

A horrid Spell,
cast with a yell!
He'd landed on his bell-(y)!

A spill of Jell-(o)
bright golden yell-(ow)
had really rung his bell!

The hex to quell,
Shop-owner bell-(owed)
"Professor, please! Just mell-(ow)!"

I can not squel-(ch)
not feeling well...
'must go lie where I dwell!

Thus, I did tell
how Fair Snape Fell.
Be wary of dropped Jell-(o)!

[zymurgy]

The Ballad of Fair Snape and how he Fell

Master Snape was never fond,
And none were fond of him,
His tongue was sharp as aconite,
His manner dour and grim,

The potion test,
Left students stressed,

The lazy ones hadn’t studied,
The diligent ones were unliked,
So they plotted a prank so malicious,
Twas worse than the punch that was spiked,

The spell cast,
Left all aghast,

As into the Potions room he strode,
His robes abillow, his eyes ablaze,
His shadow loomed high on the wall,
Cast by the fading sun’s rays.

The potion assigned,
Boggled the mind,

The students frantic stirred and diced,
The potions burbled and steamed,
The fumes soon prevented everysight,
Except for Snape’s eyes – which gleamed.

The students coughed,
The Master scoffed,

Amid the fumes of burning flame,
Of horn, of scale and chawdron,
None saw the student who did not,
Attend his steaming cauldron,

He used his wand,
Then did abscond,

The master strode between the rows,
Of boiling burbling brews,
When all of a sudden because of the spell,
His feet had two left shoes,

The master tripped,
A cauldron tipped,

Tumbled to the ground in a tangle of robes,
He struggled to rise from the floor,
Covered in steaming malodorous brew,
That had never been brewed before,

The master glowered,
The students cowered,

A muttered spell removed the sludge,
Cleaned his robes and pressed them,
And judging by the students’ eyes,
He’d finally impressed them,

The master glared,
The students stared,

The master scanned the now clear room,
In search for guilty attitude,
Instead he found the stares had turned,
From horrified to lude!

His eyebrow raised,
His students gazed,

He took points from every house,
Even those that weren’t in class,
His students’ gaze remained unfazed,
He caught sight of polished brass,

The reflection gleamed,
The master screamed,

Snape fled from the room in a flurry of robes,
Up the stairs to the Headmasters rooms,
The Headmaster choked on a lemon drop,
Fawkes squawked and lost a few plumes,

The headmaster blinked,
Fawkes trilled and winked,

“What caused this accident,” Albus asked,
“This quite unexpected pulchritude?”
“The students did it!” Severus wailed,
“A result of their rampant crassitude!”

Snape quivered with rage,
Albus merely looked sage,

“I’m afraid it isn’t against the rules,
“To make your professor attractive,
“I’m sure that now you’re amazingly fair,
“They’ll be just as amazingly active.”

Albus offered cake,
Snape started to shake

“It just isn’t fair!” yowled Snape,
“They should all be expelled for a start,
“They tripped me and doused me, so now,
“I look like Gilderoy Lockhart!”

He stood it a day,
Then ran far away,

Snape sent in his resignation,
Up to the Headmaster, Albus,
Indicating that he now eschewed,
Honorificabilitudinitatibus,

Snape disappeared,
The students cheared.

[McGonagall's Cat]

The Fair Snape Fell,
from Zinfandel.
I will not tell
what he did yell!

[lupinsmyman]

The Tragedy of Fair Snape
(This goes to the tune of some song from a movie... sorta)


Fair Snape was a quiet and good little lad.
But on one rare occasion,
When he was beaten by persuasion,
He fell into the Dark Arts,
Which was sad.

Oh, Fair Snape fell,
From all that was well.
On such tragedies our minds must not dwell.
He fell! He fell! Poor Snape fell!
All because of one little spell…


Should the fair one be saved,
From thing that enslaved
Or should it go unnoticed;
Unwatched?
Is his mind simply, only botched?

Oh, Fair Snape fell,
From all that was well.
On such tragedies our minds must not dwell.
He fell! He fell! Oh, Poor Snape fell!
All because of one little spell…

[cassirin]

The Hill and the Boy - The Ballad of Fair Snape Fell

There is a hill, I know it well-
Tall and verdant – Fair Snape Fell.
It rises up, this lovely hill,
Then falls away, as all hills will.

This lovely hill, so broad and green,
Is setting for a tragic scene.
We set the stage, I’m sure you know,
Many, many years ago.

There was a lad so dark of feature.
There never was a prouder creature.
He climbed yon hill to prove he could;
Up to the top, his pace was good.

When reached the peak, the boy did say,
“None shall ever pass my way,
None so strong, none so clever,
Who ranks near me? No one. Never.”

‘Pride precedes the fall,’ they say,
And such it was on that sad day.
My tale is almost fully told,
But one last question to behold:

When come the song of Fair Snape Fell,
Which came first? Can you tell?
Is Snape the boy whose pride is done,
Or Snape the hill, a battle won?

[muggle5]

No one knew why fair Snape fell.
Some say it wasn't true.
Others say he was not well
But Dumbledore's dead too.

Why did fair Snape fall to dark?
A Death Eater he stayed.
He played both sides. He made his mark.
History is made.

To what side does he belong?
He never did kill Harry.
As he runs off into night
The deboccle is scary.

Why fair Snape fell we'll never know.
We were suspicious from start.
Although he ran off as a foe
We wait for change of heart.

[chad13]

The Good, The Bad, or The Misunderstood

There was a hill so bright and green,
That housed a boy so pale and mean.
No one would go and visit he
Who cursed all critters that did be.

Neither squirrel, nor doxy did ever pass
Upon that hill so dark and vast.
But why this spot the boy did choose
Is a tale no one should lose.

For one day, alone again,
That hill is where the boy had been.
And up upon the grassy knoll
The poor pale boy fell in a hole.

He lay there for a day and night,
But no one passed within his site.
So now he's free and forever more
He plans to even up the score.

He forces all off of the hill,
Protecting them with all his will.
Never again will one reach the well
On the hill where fair Snape fell.