Snape's Detention Duel - Round One Subs, -- Drop Detention Duel Details Here -- Options

[McGonagall's Cat]

Consider yourselves Double Dog Dared to outdo eachother!

[chad13]

The Prefect Defender

“Alohamora.”
“You’d think it would be harder to break into a teachers office around here.” Ron said edging his way passed Hermione as she pocketed her wand.
“It’s not really a teacher’s office Ron, Filch is only the caretaker and ...”
“I know what Filch is!” Ron interrupted defiantly. Hermione just shook her head. “I still don’t understand why you’re looking for these boxes Harry, I mean, don’t you get enough of them in detention?” Harry, now busily reorganizing a wall of boxes across the room, looked up.
“You didn’t have to come you know.” he said hotly. Ron and Hermione exchanged glances.
“No, it’s okay, there’s nothing I’d rather be doing.” Ron grimaced as he scanned the walls of Filch’s office.
“Here’s one!” Harry pulled an exceptionally large box out from underneath the pile.
“So these are the DC’s?” Ron asked looking inside. Harry smiled at the thought of comic books, but understood what Ron was getting at. Detention Cards, that was how Ron had been referring to them anyhow. He nodded at Ron. Harry knelt beside the box and pulled four cards out of his pocket.
“What are those?” Hermione asked, looking over his shoulder.
“Oh, well, Dobby’s been helping me out before I could get down here myself.”
“Oh no Harry, you haven’t been asking Dobby and Kreacher to do your dirty work again have you?”
“What dirty work?” Ron and Harry asked together.
“It takes time to sort through these you know, I’m only looking for a couple of names.”
“So, Rupert Grint wouldn’t happen to be one of those names would it?” Harry looked at the card Ron was holding and shook his head.
“You know what I’m looking for ...” Harry began, but Ron was already rifling through the cards once more.
“Well what did Dobby find you,” Hermione asked kneeling beside them.
“Three Potters and a Sirius.” Harry said handing over the cards.
“What’s a Clapperclaw?” Ron asked reading the card in his hand.
“No idea.” Harry replied.

A half hour later Harry was still searching. All the luck they’d had was in discovering that along with a clapperclaw, anodyne, and brumal can cause quite a bit of damage. “Guess your dad didn’t misbehave quite as much as we thought he did.” Ron said sighing.
“It’s never taken me this long to find a card with his name on it before.” Harry said confused.
“Snape probably sets it up that way Harry, he wants you to see, well, what in his view at least, is a less admirable side of your father.”
“But Dobby found some,” Harry said rifling through the box again.
“Maybe we should try a different box.” Ron said from where he was now lying on the floor.
“What about Lupin?” Hermione asked.
“What about him?”
“Well, are we looking for cards on him too, or just your parents and Sirius?”
“He’s always just written on the same ones as they are, why?”
“Well, because if we’re looking for some then this box hasn’t been a complete waste of time.” Hermione held out a card to Harry.
“How is it that she gets everything? The first card she picks up is one we need. Why didn’t you do that before!” Hermione merely glared at Ron.
Lupin was the peacekeeper, he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, that was all. Harry stared at the card. Can’t be perfect all the time, Harry thought.
“Well, what’d he do?” Ron asked. “Hope it’s good, I’ll never let him hear the end of it.”
“Ron, Shhhhh. Go on Harry, what’s it say?”

Remus was wandering the halls in search of Peter looking quite depressed for a Saturday afternoon. James and Sirius had landed themselves in detention once again and left Lupin alone to look after their less than reliable fourth marauder. The fact that Peter wasn’t already at Lupin’s heals was quite unsettling, since there was really no other place he’d choose to be. It all would have been much easier if Sirius had remembered to give him the map before detention this morning, then he would have known exactly where to find Peter. Unfortunately Remus was left to look the old fashioned way.

“All alone ...” Lupin heard a cool drawling sort of voice coming from around the corner, an all to familiar drawling voice. “Let us see what your friends will think when you come back perhaps twice your normal size? Well Pettigrew, you're so large now I don’t think anyone would notice.” Lupin drew a breath and adjusted his prefects badge, doubting that was enough however he placed his hand in his robe pocket.
“Anything wrong?” he asked simply turning the corner.
“Remus!” Peter’s voice cracked horribly.
“Just on time as usual, now how is it you all always know where the others are?” Snape asked turning around, not all that surprised that Lupin had shown up. “Illegal magic I’d wager.”
“Speaking of illegal magic, what’s going on here?”
“Perhaps Mr. Prefect it’s none of your business.”
“Well, then, Peter and I will just be going.” Snape’s eyes narrowed.
“Ah, but Peter and I are not finished yet.”
“Finished?” Peter squeaked from where he was cowering against a wall. Remus knew very well that getting at Peter was the only sort of retaliation Snape was capable of where James and Sirius were concerned, and that Peter was quite incapable of doing anything for himself. Snape would get it later for whatever it was he was preparing to do, but in that case Remus saw this as preventing two unneeded attacks.
“Severus, just let him go. It wasn’t him last time, or any time before that. Attacking an innocent bystander seems pretty low don’t you think?”
“Oh it’s Severus now is it? Now that I’m in control you're very polite. It’s only low because your defenders aren’t here and there’s nothing that you are going to do about it.” Remus sighed as Snape raised his wand, and half heartedly pulled out his own. Snape expected Lupin to stand and watch as the goody two shoes he was usually expected to be and the site of Lupin’s wand did not faze him one bit, until he was dangling above the ground.
“Peter!” Lupin called. The red faced boy came running from his spot on the wall and began cowering once more, this time behind his friend. He'd hated to do it, but of course Lupin was quite capable of defending both himself and Peter.
“You!” Snape yelled, blood rushing to his head.
“I didn’t want to do it you know, but it would be just as unfair to watch you torturing Peter.” A slew of almost incomprehensible and less than desirable words came flying out of Snape’s mouth. “It just wouldn’t have been fair you understand?”
“What’s going on here!” Lupin, at the sound of a new voice, jumped, and in doing so released Snape who came crashing to the floor.

“Remus Lupin, apprehended using “levicorpus” on Severus Snape. Severus then dropped from ten feet high. Single detention.” Harry read.
“Hope Snape broke something on impact.” Ron grinned.

[timeturner]

Snape’s Best Memory

Harry glanced up from the detention card he was working on. He was trying his best to look like he wasn’t enjoying himself. If Snape had any idea that these detention sessions had become fun for Harry, they would end faster than you could say risorial muscles.

Luckily, Snape didn’t seem to be paying his surroundings the least bit of attention. Instead, he was sitting at his desk, staring into space, a strange, almost goofy smile plastered on his sallow face. Harry wondered what could have caused such an un-Snape-like expression and then upon second thought, he decided he probably didn’t want to know.

Returning to his cards, Harry picked up the next one in the stack and blew the dust off. To his surprise, the delinquent featured on this one was none other than Severus Snape. Harry quickly suppressed a snort of laughter and began reading…

Severus Snape.
Convicted of drafting and administering the Draught of Petitio Principii, a little known substance made illegal by the Ministry in 1927.
Members of the staff and several students were victim to the humiliating effects of the Draught. Many required Anodyne Solution as a result. James Potter and Sirius Black were both diagnosed as being “severely and irreversibly traumatized” by the incident.
Afterwards, Severus Snape was unapologetic and declared the day he used Petitio Principii to be the best day of his life.
Quadruple Detention.

The laughter died in Harry’s throat the minute he read his father’s name. “Severely and irreversibly traumatized.” The words rang through his head. What did Snape do? Harry looked up towards the professor, as if expecting an explanation to the unvoiced question.

Snape, however, was sitting quietly at his desk, creepy smile still in place. He wasn’t really staring into space though, Harry realized. Snape actually had his eyes on an old cabinet across the room. The cabinet door was half-off and Harry could just make out the edge of what looked like a stone basin. With a jolt, he realized it was a pensieve.

Harry stared from Snape to the cabinet and back to Snape again. Had Snape been using it before Harry showed up to relive a stashed memory? Was it the best day of his life, the day he attacked the school with Petitio Principii? It had to be. Snape was looking downright giddy. Nothing made him that happy. Sure, his favorite games “Harass Harry” and “Needle Neville” made him smile, but it was a cruel sort of smile. And this, well this was something else.

Harry’s insides burned with rage. He knew his Dad was no angel, but surely he didn’t deserve to be traumatized. Sirius neither. Harry knew he had to get his hands on that pensieve. He had to see for himself what Snape had done.

Harry slid his wand from his pocket. He wanted more than anything to hex Snape, but perhaps a simple diversion was the way to go. Harry tried to think. He needed to get Snape to leave the room, at least for a couple of minutes. And then it came to him.

“Accio Peeves,” he whispered, hoping against hope that his plan would work.

A loud commotion rang out in the hall.

“Nooooooo! Peeves won’t goooooo! You can’t make me! You can’t make me! YOU CAN’T MAKE MEEEEEE!”

Snape sat up with a start and gave Harry a dirty look.

“What are you doing, Potter,” he said suspiciously.

“Nothing, sir,” Harry said keeping his wand low. “I mean, I think its Peeves, sir.”

“Flagitious poltergeist,” Snape scowled. “You stay here, Potter and keep working.”

As soon as Snape left the room, Harry leapt to his feet and locked the door with a complicated wave of his wand. The lock wouldn’t stop Snape for long, but it would at least slow him down. Dashing to the cabinet, Harry grabbed the pensieve and headed for the desk. The swirling contents were still sloshing about when he sat it down. With no time to waste, Harry dove in headfirst.

He landed on his feet and found himself in a hidden alcove behind a tapestry featuring Hippogriffs playing with handfuls of tarot cards. Snape was there too. He was uncorking a vial and smiling.

“Petitio Principii,” Snape whispered before downing the contents of the vial. “Make them see, make them see.”

Harry stared in surprise. The detention card made it sound like the potion had been administered to others, but it wasn’t. Snape had given it to himself. What did this mean?

Snape suddenly dropped the empty vial into his pocket and threw open the tapestry that concealed him. The corridor was empty. Snape walked out and Harry followed. It soon became clear that they were heading for the Great Hall. From the sounds of it, most of the students were already there.

Snape threw open the double doors and walked in, his hand held aloft. The students cheered. Slytherins, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, even the Gryffindors, broke into applause the moment they saw Snape. The entire staff was on their feet clapping and screaming.

Harry gaped at the lot of them. He couldn’t believe his ears. Shouts and chants had broken out all around.

“Severus, I love you!”

“Severus, will you sign my potions book!”

“Please, just let me run my hands through your hair! Oh please, Severus!”

And then Harry saw something that turned his stomach. His Dad and Sirius were standing on the Gryffindor table swaying back and forth and singing at the top of their lungs.

“We want everyone to know that Snape’s our hero.
He’s everything that we wish we could be.
He is truly a king and not a weirdo.
He is the wind beneath our wings.”

Snape began calling for an encore and James and Sirius instantly obliged. That was when Harry realized what Petitio Principii was- a draught that would change the drinker in the eye of the beholder. Snape wanted everyone to think of him as popular and so they did. He wanted them to see him as a hero and so they did. He wanted to be the cool kid for the day and so he was.

No wonder his Dad and Sirius were severely and irreversibly traumatized thought Harry. He was pretty sure he would be suffering from lingering disgust himself for the next several years.

Having seen more than enough, Harry launched himself from the pensieve. With a shudder, he decided to head straight for the hospital wing after detention. Hopefully Madam Pomfrey still had some Anodyne Solution on hand.

[cherabela]

A Different Card in the Deck

All the students were sitting at their respective tables in the Great Hall, chatting between mouthfuls of mashed potatoes, pork chops and shepherd’s pie. Hermione kept shooting Ron annoyed looks because he was busy discussing Quidditch, while for the previous hour he had endeavoured into explaining to her all the terrible effects of living on an empty stomach.

In another part of the castle, somebody else was wishing he too could be filling up his stomach. Unfortunately, Snape seemed to have registered Harry’s apparent need for nutrients and kept reminding him that this weekly detention was simply to teach him that Hogwarts would not tolerate any rule-breaking, not even by the Chosen One. As he continued copying detention cards, Harry decided that it would be best if he thought of something other than ways to murder Snape. He wondered secretly whether Snape’s stomach was growling as much as his. He had been in the Great Hall for quite a long time that morning, talking with the other Gryffindor boys, but he had failed to spot Snape at breakfast. For a fleeting moment he pictured Snape following a very strict weight-loss diet. Harry grinned behind yet another detention card, and hoped that Snape wasn’t attempting Legilimency on him at that moment.

Harry looked down at the card he was still holding. It looked different from the ones he had seen. The parchment was thicker, and there was a rich gold border around it. What was more, the names imprinted on it belonged to none other than the four people Harry had now learnt were behind the mysterious band of Bowtruckles in the kitchens, the pouncing trunks and the self-tearing textbooks. What intrigued Harry the most though, was how come Dumbledore himself had signed the record instead of the caretaker. Most curious of all, was how come there was nothing written on the ‘Rule Violation’ line. Harry knew that it was highly unlikely that Dumbledore had forgotten to write it. But then, why didn’t he?

Seeing Snape deeply immersed correcting a fresh pile of essays, Harry quickly stowed the card in his robe pocket. Fortunately Snape had noticed nothing, because half an hour later he announced that Harry could leave, and watched him scurry out of the dungeon.

Harry ran up to the Gryffindor Common Room where he spotted Hermione in an armchair by the slightly-ajar window.
“How did it go?” she asked him as he approached her. Why did she have to keep asking him this after every detention?
“Fine,” he said irritated. “Look at this.” He extracted the detention card from his pocket and gave it to her.
“What about it?” Ron asked as he looked over Hermione’s shoulder.
“Well Dumbledore doesn’t usually sign these,” said Hermione, staring at the empty ‘Rule Violation’ line. “Whatever it was can’t have been too big though. I mean, they only got a week’s worth of detention.”

Harry looked slightly crest-fallen at this. He didn’t really know what he had been expecting, but he had grown to respect the Marauders, and always wished he had been given more time to spend with them. Apart from Wormtail of course.
Hermione’s voice cut through his thoughts. She had taken out her wand, pointing it at the card and said, “Specialis Revelio!”

The same thin loopy handwriting which had signed the card formed the words, “They did not use toilet paper.”

Ron burst into fits of laughter, and Harry couldn’t help not snicker. Hermione meanwhile was frowning at the writing, as if expecting it turn into something more decent with her death glare. At that moment, Harry’s stomach growled horribly, and Ron howled with laughter even more.
“Here,” he said, handing Harry a chocolate frog.
Harry ate it voraciously and looked down at the card he had found. “Dumbledore again!” he groaned, as he put it in his pocket. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. He grabbed the card from Hermione’s hands and ran out of the common room and down the stairs without a word, leaving a very perplexed Ron and Hermione behind him.

Why hadn’t he thought of it before? The key to finding out why the Headmaster had signed the card and what the Marauders had been up to, was Dumbledore himself. Before he knew it, he was standing in front of the gargoyle leading to Dumbledore’s office.

In that instant, realization hit him. He didn’t know the password. Harry knew that there was only one way around this problem.

“Pepper Imps, Fizzing Whizbees, Fudge Flies, Liquorice Wands,” Harry blurted, although the gargoyle remained immobile. “Ice Mice, Jel-” But before he could continue, the gargoyle had hopped aside, allowing him to climb the stairs. Yet when he knocked on the door nobody replied, and he realized that Professor Dumbledore wasn’t at Hogwarts.

“He says you can enter,” said a voice by his side, making him jump. He looked around but nobody was in sight. Could the speaker be hiding under an invisibility cloak?
“Down here,” said the voice again, and this time, Harry realized it was coming from his pocket. He took out the chocolate frog card and there was Dumbledore smiling back at him. “He’s coming. You have permission to enter,” he said, as he admired a red bertie bott bean.
Harry entered the Headmaster’s office obediently. Fawkes was dozing peacefully on his perch.
“Alas! Sour berries! Things are not always what they seem,” said Dumbledore chewing on the bean.

“Good evening Harry,” said the same voice behind him. “I’m afraid I was kept by an insisting costermonger who wished to sell me five roosters’ crests a galleon.”
Harry didn’t know what to say at this, so he simply nodded.

Dumbledore went over to the cabinet and poured some pumpkin juice for both of them.
“Drink,” he said, as he handed Harry his glass. But the latter didn’t feel like drinking at all.
“Is there something you wish to ask me?” said Dumbledore as he took his seat behind his desk.
“Yes Professor,” said Harry, as he handed the detention card to Dumbledore. “I was sorting out these cards during detention with Snape and I didn’t know what to, er, what to copy out from this one.”
“I shall have to speak to Snape about your detentions,” said Dumbledore frowning slightly. “But of course-” He laughed as he looked at the card. “I remember this particular incident.”

The Headmaster chuckled and averted his eyes to the ceiling. “Your father and his friends were in their fourth year at Hogwarts at the time when mysterious incidents started taking place. Several students would enter an empty cubicle and reappear seconds later spinning out of another toilet and speaking Mermish. The speech effect wore off after an hour, but Madam Pomfrey was very concerned about the unhygienic process. It turned out they were using Loo Powder.”

He stopped to look at Harry, who was finding it very hard not to laugh in Dumbledore’s face.
“You can drink that Harry,” he repeated, looking at Harry’s full glass.

Harry on the other hand took the chance to ask, “So how did they get caught?” Whatever Madam Pomfrey said, he thought it was a very amusing idea and felt that whoever had reported them would have deserved more than ten flushes up a toilet.
“It so happened that James threw some powder in the toilet where Moaning Myrtle was resting in the U-bend. She spotted all four boys before she disappeared and shot out of the lake like a tornado. I’m afraid she was very upset about the terrible ordeal and she reported them. She cried for over a week and kept flooding every room which had a tap.”

Dumbledore sighed and said, “I can show you if you like.”

Puzzled, Harry saw him get up and walk to the cabinet where he rummaged among various bottles including what Harry saw was anodyne, muttering something which sounded a lot like “Where the hell did that stupid thing go?”

After a while he straightened up and placed the pensieve on his desk. “This is a pensieve Harry. In you go.”

Without even a chance, Harry was pushed towards the pensieve, and seconds later found himself standing in a bathroom in which a younger Dumbledore had just entered and become invisible. The real life Dumbledore on the other hand hadn’t appeared by Harry’s said yet.

In his opinion, the Headmaster was acting in a very bizarre way indeed. He spoke and acted differently, and why had he pushed him? Hadn’t they used the pensieve enough for him to realize what it was?

Just then, a very horrible thought swelled inside him, eroding his insides like Ron’s flagitious poison. It couldn’t be! Soon Dumbledore arrived.

“Here we are Harry,” he said. “Soon we will-”
“Professor!” said Harry quickly, not giving any heed that he was interrupting him, “What is your favourite flavour of jam?”

[evlpez]

Visiting the Sick


Harry arrived at Professor Snape's office at precisely eight o'clock. Rather than glum at the prospect of another detention with Snape, he was looking forward to reading more accounts, however vague, of his parents' time at Hogwarts. There was a pang of regret that the only things he was now learning about his father were through glances into the past at those events which cast him in the least favorable light. Beggars couldn't be choosers however. Having accepted the fact that no one is perfect, he was happy just to know the smallest things about his imperfect father and his friends. Most of the detention cards he'd read so far were not in the least as serious or disturbing to Harry as his trip into the pensieve the night he saw Snape's worst memory of the Marauders.

Snape opened the door and allowed Harry to pass inside to the desk, atop which sat the box of old file cards waiting to be copied. Harry smiled secretly at the sneer behind him. He wasn't going to pretend for Snape's sake that he felt abused and angry about having to do this. Harry suspected that the time spent here was not convenient for Snape. He probably had other things to do, like spying on Death Eaters or reporting to his boss, whomever that might really be. If he was put out more so by Harry's inability to be cowed by what should rightly be a horrible detention, all the better.

Harry sat down and began shuffling through, looking for a familiar name and looking forward to imagining how it came to be. He spotted a Potter and paused, smiling. He looked up at Snape and caught him watching. The professor gave him a brumal glare and bent to his papers, marking one with such force that he knocked his coffee mug off the desk, sending it skittering across the stone floor. Harry resisted the urge to laugh out loud.


"Thank goodness for Infrangible charms, huh Profe-?"

"Silence, Potter. I think you're old enough to be able to perform your task for one evening without the incessant, infantile babbling."

Harry smirked.


October, 1974

Potter, James
Pettigrew, Peter
Black, Sirius
Black, Regulus
Black, Bellatrix

He frowned. What were his dad and Sirius doing getting into trouble beside two future Death Eaters? Surely they… He read on.

Offense: Willful meddling with an Anodyne Solution, risking harm to students in the Hospital Wing, disruption of Hospital Wing, destruction of a priceless antique vase

Punishment: Service to staff in the Hospital Wing thrice weekly for three weeks, without magic.

As he read the anecdotal notes on the back of the card he imagined them played out in his mind.


"At least my friends are warm-blooded, Bella," Sirius retorted over his shoulder at his cousin. To James he muttered, "Just ignore her. She's only repeating what the rest of the family tells her. Poor stupid thing can't think for herself, you know."

James shrugged and smiled. "If Regulus didn’t look so much like you, I'd think you were adopted, Sirius."

Sirius nodded in agreement as Peter struggled to keep up with them.

"But guys, why is Remus in the Hospital Wing? I mean, is he sick? Is that why he didn't come to bed last night? Where did he go?"

James and Sirius exchanged a look. They had their suspicions about Remus' health problems, but weren't ready to share them just yet, even with Peter, until they'd confronted Remus. They wouldn't do it today of course. You can't kick your mate when he's down.

"Hey guys. What're you doing here?" Remus asked when they marched to his bedside behind the Nurse's back.

"Shh.. we're probably not supposed to be here. You all right, Remus?" James asked in a whisper.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Remus said, looking out the window.

"What happened to you last night?" Peter asked quietly.

Remus shrugged. "Must've ate something at dinner that didn't agree."

"Something that fought back on the way down?" Sirius asked, eyeing the not-quite-healed gash along Remus' jaw.

"Oh, that. I fell on the way here. Scraped my chin on the doorway," Remus replied calmly. "Might even still be blood on the jamb. Lucky I didn't send that big pot flying," he added, nodding his head towards the large floor vase beside the door.

"Madam, I saw my cousin come in here," came a familiar voice from behind the curtain. "He isn't bothering your patients is he? He can be such trouble some times."

The four boys froze. Sirius and James peered out discreetly to see the backs of Bellatrix and Regulus. He was hidden from the matron by the curtain, and they were standing next to a cart containing trays of various vials and decanters.

"No, Miss Black. I'm sure I haven't seen him. If you're not here for treatment I must ask that you both leave and go back to your common room. Don't touch those, please. They're for my patients."

"Oh, sorr-" Regulus was interrupted by the crash of the glass vial he'd dropped on the floor.

"See what you've done, Regulus? Go! I'm so sorry, Madam. Let me help."

As the Matron bent down to clean up the mess, Bellatrix opened a vial and added a pinch of something to it from her pocket. Regulus smirked at her and saw Sirius out of the corner of his eye. His face dropped a moment, and Sirius knew that he was considering whether to betray him to Bella. He didn't, but turned his back and walked towards the door and waited for her. Bella, satisfied that her help wasn't wanted, followed.

Sirius pulled his wand out and as Bellatrix neared the door, he flicked and muttered. The enormous vase swept itself into the air and hurled itself at Bellatrix, bowling her over and crashing on the stone into dust.

The Matron gasped, grabbing the curtain behind her in surprise and revealing James, Peter and Sirius.

"You aren't… d..d..did you to that?!" She demanded, her face going red. She rushed over to Bellatrix, who was crying out on the floor in pain.

"Poor dear. No.. nothing broken, you're okay. Just let me get you something," the matron cooed, summoning the same vial from the cart which Bellatrix had tainted.

"Drink this down, dear. It's only mild."

Bellatrix's eyes nearly popped out of her head and she shouted through her tears. "NO! I mean, I’m FINE Madam. Really!"

But the Matron had too keen an eye to give Sirius the satisfaction that he was waiting for. She peered at the vial and shook it, then narrowed her eyes at Bellatrix and Regulus. Then she turned to the boys and stood up.

"Out. All of you. NOW. You'll hear about this later."

Harry couldn't allow himself to imagine that Bellatrix would have been made to drink the solution. Despite how much he hated her, and how much Sirius hated her, he couldn't. Part of him hoped she had, but there was nothing on the detention card to suggest that she'd gotten anything but a minor injury from the incident. None of the staff knew for certain who had done what to cause the commotion, or taint the Anodyne Solution, so they'd agreed to give all five of them the same detention. Harry liked to think that James and Sirius had gone easy on Bellatrix and Regulus because Regulus had decided not to rat Sirius out when he saw them, but really, none of that was on the card, either. He finished copying the card and stuffed the original nonchalantly into his robes.

"Souvenir, Potter?" Snape sneered, standing up from his desk.

[McGonagall's Cat]

Clown School




Snape graded the third-years’ exams with flagitious keenness. His quill scratched out ragged comments that Harry knew would be as sharp and insulting as Snape could insinuate into the evaluation.

Flexing his fingers to chase away the writer’s cramp and rearranging himself on the chair, the younger wizard reached for the next card from the dusty box. “This’s what, the thirty-seventh since I sat down?” Harry sighed to himself. He rolled his head and stretched his shoulder muscles as inconspicuously as he could.

At first the cards had bothered him. Snape had made sure he was instantly immersed in the files from the 1970s, those of his father and his friends; ghosts of people he wished he’d known, or whom he had known and missed dearly. Each name was a bit of a clench to his stomach, but he refused to show any emotion, refused to give the Professor the satisfaction of a reaction. In spite of his best efforts, he knew that Snape was quite aware of the impact the cards were having. Occasionally the man’s eyes would dart sideways toward Harry then back to his own work, a sly curve pulling ever-so-slightly at the corner of his grimly clamped lips as he continued scratching on the various parchments of hapless students.

Most of the cards thus far had detailed mundane detentions. Fortunately, their “average-ness” helped Harry contain the initial effects of seeing his father’s and Sirius’ names written in such a contemporary manner, as though they might troop in laughing and joking from the Quidditch pitch or be sitting at breakfast in the Great Hall the next morning. The ordinary snowballs thrown or the chairs hexed out from under someone as that person began to sit down definitely aided his ability to seem unfazed, which he hoped galled Snape.

With another deep breath, Harry returned to the task at hand. Card thirty-seven felt different. It was heavier than the others while appearing quite the same. He turned it over several times, unable to detect anything explaining why it felt this way, then began to read the longest list of students given detentions he’d yet come across:


May 28, 1976

Students involved:
Sirius Black, Gryffindor – detention 5/28/76 through 6/7/76
James Potter, Gryffindor – detention 5/28/76 through 6/7/76
Remus Lupin, Gryffindor – detention 5/28/76 through 6/7/76
Peter Pettigrew, Gryffindor - detention 5/28/76 through 6/7/76
Severus Snape, Slytherin – detention 5/28/76 through 6/7/76
Evan Rosier, Slytherin - detention 5/28/76 through 6/7/76
Six more Slytherins were also listed, though with shorter detentions.


On May 28th the above listed students did willfully and with intent




But the wording didn’t continue any farther or explain the offense as the other cards had. Harry once again turned the card over. He examined its edges, the corners, even flicked his thumbnail across various portions hoping for an indication that perhaps a couple cards had been intended to be together, but had become separated over the years. Finding nothing, he stared at it. There was a small purple seal in the lower left corner with the word “aperio” embossed on it, several smudges from fingerprints, and a tiny desiccated bug permanently squashed into the surface and partially obliterating the word “May”.

“Are you meditating on that card, Potter?” a surly voice came from the desk partway across the room.

Harry jumped.

A marginally amused Snape continued, “Put those away for tonight. I’ll see you here at 6:17, sharp, next Friday.”

Harry crammed the cards he’d finished into the back of the queue in the file-box, while subtly sliding card thirty-seven into his book bag when he put his quill and ink away. He jammed the box onto the top of the shelves in the corner, and without a second glance at the teacher, raced out of the room as quickly as he thought he could get away with.




The common room was almost deserted as Harry streaked through to his dorm. He up-ended the contents of the book bag onto his bed and riffled through until he found the card. Again he turned it every way possible, tried to bend and twist it, holding it up in front of the lighted sconce on the wall. The card was proving to be infrangible.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he pulled his wand and tapped the face saying “Alohomora”, but nothing happened. He tried, “Reveal yourself”, “open” and several similar commands to no avail. Finally he touched the point of his wand to the purple seal and read aloud, “aperio”.

The card erupted. It flipped, flopped, and unfolded until it covered half the bed and part of the floor like a large afghan someone had thrown across an elderly person’s lap. Columns of words covered its surface in various colours and assorted handwriting styles. A large translucent oval glistened near the centre. Harry quickly shoved the book bag and contents toward his pillow and spread the huge parchment out flat on his bed. Had the information been written on scrolls, it would have constituted at least seven. As he swiped a hand across to smooth out wrinkles, his little finger accidentally sank into the surface of the oval. He jerked his hand back, heart pounding, and checked it for damage. Finding none, he prodded the semi-transparent elliptical with his wand. It jumped to life. Images surfaced, swirling and dove-tailing together.

The Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom was easily recognizable, though displays of what appeared to be enlarged pictures from The Daily Prophet were posted in various places. Horrendous examples of the most recent handiwork of the Dark Lord and his followers were muted only by the lack of colour in the moving pictures. A thin intense professor Harry didn’t recognize stood near the front of the room swishing her wand, forming the words of the assignment in mid-air above the class. Sirius lounged beside James in what must have been their usual places, while Remus and Peter were busy writing at the next table to the left. It appeared that Gryffindor had this class with the Slytherins in his father’s time, too. Harry recognized the younger versions of Snape feverishly copying the suspended words while what could only be Avery maliciously toyed with a beetle on the desk in front of him.

James glanced at Sirius with a barely perceptible nod as the class rose to leave. Snape left his things at his seat, intent on discussing some point with the teacher, and began making his way toward that side of the room. Black stood, positioning himself in such a way that he partially conceal his friend, as James aimed his wand from under the table, muttering a spell that was lost in the noise of the dispersing students.

Slowly several threads began changing colour at the lower edge of Snape’s robe. By the time the sallow Slytherin reached the professor, a narrow band of pink had formed along the lower edge of his clothing. It progressed to a wider yellow band directly above the first as he spoke with the instructor, and added an inch-thick baby blue stripe before their conversation ended. The pastel colours crept higher by the moment.

Sounds and disorder of students packing up their books and leaving began to die away as the transformation was noticed. A risorial mood settled in and a few sniggers sprouted. “Going to become a clown, are yeh, Severus?” jolted Snape out of the discussion with the professor, by which time the stripes had almost reached his waist.

Fury flashed across his face, his eyes blazed. In a purely reactionary move he whipped out his wand and shouted a hex at Sirius. As the orange light arced across the space between, James deflected the spell with his still-in-hand wand. Sirius dropped behind a table tossing a Stunning Spell at Snape, but hitting the Professor instead. Several Slytherins entered the fray. Remus dodged and returned a stinging hex that hit its mark causing screams to echo from the back of the room. Flares of orange and green shot every direction, rebounding, burning holes in the walls, knocking over anything not permanently attached. A skeleton perched in the corner exploded, showering the combatants with bone confetti.

“Afraid, Black?” Snape sneered. “Hiding like a scared child?”

Sirius stood up affecting a pose, glaring back at him. “You talkin’ ta me?” Then quickly shouted, “Expelliarmus!”

Snape deftly blocked the jet of red as smoke began to cloud the ceiling and impede visibility.

“Leave it to Blood Traitor trash to quote Muggle cinema!” Avery screeched, blasting apart the chair James had just vacated.

Peter shot “Petrificus Totalus” that direction and the ensuing crash earned him a ‘thumbs up’ from his darker-haired friends.


Then suddenly a commanding voice bellowed, “Silence!” from the classroom doorway and the boys froze.