Round Two ~ Future Ferret Challenges Options

[evlpez]

In order to maintain high-quality posts and stories, Project Ferret does have some entrance standards. Everyone who joins needs to be able to write English well, including correct mechanics, syntax, and word usage.

While Potterverse members are visiting our Project Ferret, they will write a submission for any one of the following "Future Ferret" Challenges. All submissions must have a unique title and be posted in this topic.



Mission Choice #1: The Snoopy Ginny Challenge

You are Ginny Weasley, at home at The Burrow. You sneak into your twin brothers' room (in spite of them having put blocking spells on the door; you're a pretty clever little witch after all). Describe what you see and what happens because of this. Aim for about 500 words, please.



Mission Choice #2: Animagi Challenge

Describe a day (or part of it) in the life of any one of the characters we know to be animagi, as they would experience it in their animal form. Your submission should be at least 500 words.



Mission Choice #3: Colin's Photo Challenge

Colin Creevey is hot in pursuit of a great picture for the school paper. Describe him trying to get the picture, the picture he eventually takes, and its significance. Remember the reporter's golden rule: Who, What, When, Where, Why, & How. Aim for about 500 words, please.



Mission Choice #4: The Quibbler Challenge

The Quibbler has a blaring headline that has all of Hogwarts murmuring as soon as the owl post arrives during breakfast. What is the headline? Write at least two paragraphs of the reported story, and then have two or more characters of your choice discuss it. Your submission should be at least 500 words.



Note to ferrets: Remember that you are writing fan fiction as though you are the Floo-Between user you've chosen. This means that if you've chosen Snape, you are writing as though Snape is writing fan fiction, not as though he is a part of the story. Each character may write as many submissions as they wish for this challenge, as long as each submission is significantly different from their others. You must choose one of the above missions for each submission. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday December 1st.

The Voting Booth for Round 2 will open on Sunday, November 7th. Click this text to go there.

Posts which are not prefaced by the Character Form will be deleted.

When you post, you'll see a button (up by the "code" and "list" buttons) that says "blank character form." If you press that button, the form will appear in your post. Just edit in your character's details and put the body of your text in the middle. If you've chosen not to use a signature for your character, delete that part of the form.

Do not edit your submissions for this challenge once they are posted in the Forum.

_________________________

When rating submissions, please use the following score card to guide you:

Score Card

__ Ferret Points for following the mission
__ Ferret Points for technical (grammar, spelling are consistent with the author's character)
__ Ferret Points for overall creativity
__ Ferret Points for characterization
__ Ferret Points for adherence to canon
_________________
Total out of 10 maximum Ferret Points

0 = Poor, 1 = Okay/good, 2 = Great

_________________________

[chad13]

num1chudleyfan

wizard in training
Floo Ferret

BREAKING NEWS
Clabbert Saves Village From Dementor Attack

Last Sunday afternoon in a small town just outside of London a miracle for the modern age occurred, writes Carl Snazzle, avid Quibbler reader. In the fields of heather surrounding a small cottage most of the town’s occupants sat waiting. Nothing of this magnitude had ever taken place anywhere remotely near the village, but none of the villagers had any idea how momentous the occurrence had actually been. Now it was time for them to thank their hero.

"It's like a dream," Miranda Gershwin told the reporter. "I mean, Clabberts don't exactly take fondly to all villages!" It seems the Clabbert in reference is a female by the name of, Sissy, who has been a resident and village pet for some time.
"Seems like yesterday she just came running across the fields, and now we know she was sent here for a purpose!" Miranda is speaking of the odd and terrifying occurrence of the Thursday previous ..

"Oh rubbish"
"What?" Harry asked slightly surprised at Hermione's lack of interest in the odd, yet exciting story of heroism. "Can't I at least finish the article?"
"Do you even know what a Clabbert is Harry? " Hermione asked with her usual air of, I know you don't know but I do and I'm about to tell you!
"No, not actually .."
"A Clabbert, Harry, is an arboreal creature, that means it lives in trees! So there's your first problem! I mean the whole story takes place in a bunch of village fields! Fields, not trees!"
"Maybe there were trees around the fields."
"Oh don't be so naive Harry! It's the Quibbler for goodness sake!" Hermione’s face was growing quite red, she’s really not much of a fan of false information, especially false information that people begin to take as true information. It is a Quibbler article mind you, just like she said, but she was still taking it all quite seriously.
“Well it’s still not totally impossible.”
“Harry, Clabbert’s are very good at detecting danger, I’ll give you that, they have small red spots on their foreheads that flash when they sense dangerouse things approaching, but still having a Clabbert in a village of fields!”
“Well ..”
“Dementors Harry!" Hermione said, her voice growing higher as she rounded off Harry's name. "Dementors! What is the only way to get rid of Dementors?”
“A patronus ..”
“Exactly! Now how would a Clabbert (Hermione put quite a bit of sarcastic emphasis on the word) conjure a patronus?” Harry had no come back for this as so often happens in a conversation with Hermione, she’s just impossible that way. But what can you do? No one else is going to go up to the library the way she does to look up anything, none the less try and find a way to prove her wrong. “You see? just another article of gossip and propaganda, which is not exactly what we need right now!” Hermione was going into one of her fits, it was obvious. She’d get all red and out of breath, and then storm up to the library for awhile before returning to tell everyone how stupid they were and then explain why! She could get away with it though, that’s just how Hermione is.


R.A.T.S Ron against tap dancing spiders

[agrippa]

JustBeMimble

Fizzing Wizbee
Floo Ferret


A mission of mercy

Ginny Weasley tiptoed up the stairs, carefully skipping the ones that creaked. Although Fred and George were busy at the shop in Diagon Alley, she didn’t want Ron to know what she was up to.

“Alohamora,” she whispered, turning the handle of the door.

It didn’t budge. I wonder what they did to it? she thought to herself. She gave it a few taps with her wand, and the lock gave of purple sparks. Naturally. A binding charm.

“Eripio,” she said, a little more loudly than she intended. The door swung open. She stood for a while, listening for footsteps. But all she heard was the ghoul rattling about in the attic.

She stepped into the room, and the sunlight from the opposite window shone off of her beautiful ginger hair as she stood silhouetted in the doorway. Quitely, she closed the door behind her.

The room looked as if a Hagrid had mated a toyshop with a chemistry set and then the poor animal had exploded. But she had expected that. Her chocolate-brown eyes – so dark that it looked as if you could dive in and swim in the deep eddies and pools of chocolate lusciousness – scanned the room.

What did they do with it? She looked under the Fred’s bed. There was a knot of extendable ears, something that looked a bit like floo powder, some really smelly socks, and a stuffed teddy bear wearing a blue jumper embroidered with a yellow “F”. Not here.

George’s bed was next. Whatever was under there, however, was gone. It was clean. Too clean, thought her lovely brain. They knew I’d come looking for it.

She went to the closet next. It was lined with shoeboxes full of old parchment scraps. She’d been through those before. Nothing new in here.

Then she saw it. A small, red box tied with string, sitting on George’s bedside table. Carefully, she untied the string and opened the box. It was empty. Undaunted, she put the lid back on, turned the box upside down, and opened it again.

A scream issued from the box. I’ve found it, she thought. Quickly she reached into the box and pulled out its contents. As soon as she shut the lid, the screaming stopped.

With the screaming gone, she could now hear footsteps from below. She tied the string back around the box with a practiced hand and raced to the door, leaving her prize on the bedside table.

She opened the door and stepped outside just as Ron came up the stairs.

“What was that?” asked Ron.

“What was what?” she asked.

“I thought I heard screaming.”

Ginny widened her eyes in confusion. “I didn’t hear anything.”

“Really? Huh. Must’ve been my imagination.” Ron looked at the open door behind her. “Why is Fred and George’s door open?”

“I don’t know,” she replied. “I was just going to shut it for them.”

Ron looked inside. “Crikey. That place is a mess.”

“Sure is,” said Ginny.

They stared at one another awkwardly.

“Well,” said Ron, “I’m going out back. Want to come practice some quidditch with me?”

“Sure. Let me get my things.”

“Right then.” Ron went down stairs.

Ginny turned to shut the door. “Accio photograph,” she said. The object she had rescued from the box flew toward her. She shut the door restored the binding charm, and walked across the landing to her bedroom.

Think they can steal my stuff, do they? she laughed to herself. Gently, she put the picture of her and Neville dancing at the Yule Ball on her dresser. She sighed, remembering the wonderful time they had that evening, grabbed her quaffle, and headed downstairs.




Plants are people too.

[Riley]

Catch_The_Snitch

Seeker
Floo Ferret


Creevey's Chase

Colin was on the lookout for another photo for another story for the school paper. The article had been written, all he needed was this photo. He was desperate to get it, this could make or break the paper.

He travelled the corridors of Hogwarts looking for the person who would take the mainframe of the photo. He had heard how Harry Potter was helping the house-elves of Hogwarts along with his best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. He wanted a photo of all three, but couldn't find the trio anywhere.

Colin thought that they may be on another one of their adventures. He saw Ginny Weasley and wondered if she would know where Harry was as she usually did, "Ginny," Colin said. She turned to him, "Do you know where Harry is?"

"Erm, no Colin I don't..." She said quickly as a red blush appeared on her cheeks and she walked away.

Colin continued on his search before finding Neville who looked flustered, "Hey Neville, do you know where Harry is by any chance?"

"Colin, no, no, I haven't seen him since breakfast, must dash, got work to do..." And with that he was away.

So Colin went on, looking down every corridor, going into every classroom. He eventually met Lavender and Parvati on his journey, "Hiya girls, you two wouldn't know where Hermione, Ron or Harry is?"

The girls giggled as usual before replying, "Awww, does little Colin want a picture of Hermione for his album?"

"Erm..." Colin started before the girls giggling got too much and he backed away.

He wasn't looking where he was going and bumped into Draco Malfoy, "Watch where you're going Creevey!" He sneered at the poor boy, his mouth turned in his usual smirk, his hair perfect and his cronies, Crabbe and Goyle at his side, "What you doing, wondering these corridors!" He spotted the camera, "Ah, more pictures of famous Potter?"

"N-no..." Colin stuttered, trying to get away.

"Don't act the fool with me Creevey, I think we should take this camera away, unless you want us three in you next headline, 'Three Superb Slytherins take troublesome camera from Irritating Creevey!"

The boys laughed stupidly before rounding on him. He was terrified, until he saw the three people he was looking for.

"Harry!" He called to the black haired boy as he was walking down the corridor, Hermione with a few large books in her hands, Ron looking mad as he saw Malfoy.

"Hiya Colin," Harry said glumly, before he saw what was taking place, "Colin, are these three bothering you?" He stopped walking as did his two friends, keeping close in case things got out of hand.

"Well, they were going to take my camera off me!" Colin squeaked as he ran to his heroes.

"Potter, Weasley and Granger, I should've known you three would turn up, playing the hero as usual..." Malfoy spat at the trio.

"Don't blame Harry for your attitude Malfoy!" Hermione said hotly as she defended her friend.

"Yeah, Malfoy, as small as Creevey is we still have more numbers here than you!" Ron added as he stepped closer to Malfoy in a threatening way.

"Oh come off it Weasley, you really think you lot could take on me, Crabbe and Goyle? Did you sell what little brains you had to get a bit of money, I didn't even think you were that poor..."

That was it. Ron was for Malfoy. Crabbe and Goyle jumped forward to protect him. Hermione screamed, "NO RON!" as Harry tried to keep him back.

All the while Colin was there with his camera, flashing away. Malfoy quickly noticed and was about to grab his camera before Ron pushed Crabbe into Goyle, causing the two of them to topple into Malfoy.

Harry gave Ron a high-five as Hermione laughed at the sight of the three of them on the floor. Colin said quickly, "You three, surround them! This is going to make the first page!" Before the trio knew what was happening they were in position as Colin snapped a great photo.

"Thanks guys! I'd better get this to the editor!" He rushed away, leaving the trio smiling as the three Slytherins still struggled on the ground.

Even though the picture Colin got wasn't what he intended, it was much better. He could see the headline now, 'Roar is better than bite! - Three Gryffindors save one of their fellows, Colin Creevey, from three Slytherins in a tremendous battle of the houses!'

He scurred to the editor, the article fixed in his mind.


I don't go looking for trouble, trouble usually finds me.

[timeturner]

Arithmancy_Girl

Pince's Pal
Floo Ferret


FACT OR FICTION

Harry Potter walked towards the entrance of the Great Hall, eagerly anticipating a hearty breakfast. He had been forced to miss dinner the evening before, due to the need to finish his Transfiguration essay. If only I would have listened to Hermione and not waited until the last minute, Harry thought to himself, hunger cramps twisting his stomach.

As he got closer to the Great Hall, he could hear the students murmuring loudly. Harry quickened his step, wondering what may have caused such excitement so early in the morning. He sat in his regular seat next to Ronald Weasley at the Gryffindor table. Everywhere Harry looked, he saw students either reading editions of The Quibbler or chatting animatedly. Ron was staring so intently at the front page of the newspaper, he had not even noticed that Harry had arrived.

“Ron, what’s all of the fuss about this morning?” Harry asked. “What’s that you’re reading?”

“Oy, Harry! I didn’t see you there,” Ron said looking up from the newspaper. “It’s The Quibbler. Take a look, Fred and George made the front page.”

Ron handed him the newspaper, which was still the most popular publication since Dolores Umbridge had banned it last year. Harry’s mouth fell open in shock as he read the headline:

WEASLEY TWINS INVENT CANDY THAT INCREASES MAGICAL POWERS

Twin Brothers Fred and George Weasley, co-owners of Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes, have been inventing magically, sweet treats, among other things, for years. Recently the young Weasley brothers created a new confection which they call “Spell-Booster Bars”. The small, bar-shaped treats are said to “boost” magical powers, enabling the witch or wizard who eats them to cast more powerful, longer-lasting spells.

“These bars are fantastic. May have saved my life the other night in The Hogshead,” said Mundungus Fletcher, frequent patron of Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes. “Some bloke tried to hex me, but thanks to the Spell-Booster Bar, which I had just eaten, he was no match for me.”

According to co-inventor, George Weasley, the exciting new bars are only available at Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes, located at number Ninety Three Diagon Alley. When asked if he thought the bars would be of any use to Muggles or Squibs, George had this to say, “It’s…uh…unlikely”

Story continued on page 2...

Harry was about to turn the page and continue reading when Neville Longbottom arrived holding his own edition of The Quibbler.

“Ron, Harry, did you see this?” Neville asked with excitement. “I’m going to place an order right away. A boost of power! Why, it’s just what I need.”

Neville ran off, clutching his copy of The Quibbler.

“Neville, wait!” Ron yelled, trying to call Neville back.

“Too late,” Harry said. “He’s gone. I haven’t seen Neville so excited in a long time.”

“Well, he’s going to be back to his old self soon enough,” Ron said regretfully.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked.

“The only thing those bars boost is confidence, not magical powers,” Ron answered. “Fred and George told me they were trying to invent study aids for lazy students, when they accidentally created confidence boosters. Guess they figured the bars would be easier to market if they told people they boosted powers instead.”

“I don't understand. Why would Mundungus say all that stuff about how the bars saved his life?” Harry asked.

“You know Mundungus,” Ron answered. “Fred and George probably had something on him or maybe they’re giving him a piece of the profit.”

“We better go find Neville, before he wastes his money,” Harry replied.

“I don’t know, Harry,” Ron said. “If anyone needs a boost of confidence, it’s Neville.”

“You may be right,” Harry said. “ But, the least we can do, is tell him what we know and let him decide whether or not he still wants them.”

Harry and Ron left the Great Hall in search of their friend. They had almost reached the Owlery when Harry realized he had still not eaten breakfast. As his stomach made a grumbling noise, he vowed to take Hermione’s warnings regarding the dangers of procrastinating much more seriously in the future.

THE END


I picked it up for some light reading

[evlpez]

IncrediblyHandsome

Patient
Floo Ferret





Hogwarts Heartens!

The Great Hall was abuzz with excitement as the daily mail fell from the clutches of hundreds of owls that flew gloriously overhead. The depressed staff and students of Hoggleworts School of Magic were about to hear of the most exciting news since the release of Gilderoy Lockhart's famous work, 'Magical Me". Never more would they be oppressed by the sadness and emptiness brought on by the loss of their favorite professor and idol. The news they were about to read would lift them all out of their foggy, meaningless existence and raise them up in a chorus of cheers, complete with tears of joy and embraces of brotherhood. Never before had the Great Hall experienced the type of event that would end all house rivalries, destroying all evil to unite the hearts of all the little children to stand together and bask in the joy of living in the Magical World without fear, hatred and ugliness. It was about to experience that event this morning, as the breeze caused by hundreds of flapping wings wafted over the faces of every student and professor in the room. Even the paintings were crowded with visitors from elsewhere in the castle, having had some secret sense that something very important and wonderful was about to happen.

The Quibbler magazines rained down on the table tops, landing in porridge bowls and over-turning goblets of pumpkin juice. The gasps and cries from those who first saw the front page silenced the usually depressing morning drone of sad, sleepy children eating a boring breakfast. Hands from everywhere snapped out to grab the closest magazine first, their owners desperate to know more about the bright purple headline and stunningly handsome man pictured on the cover.

Gilderoy Lockhart Cured! The Wizarding World is Saved!
New Lockhart book due out in November candidly describes his life of the past two years!

"Could it be," murmured several students in hushed awe. "Could it possibly be true?"

The professors at the head table were elated, jumping up from their seats and gabbing each other to share the good news. Headmaster Dumbledore sat quietly, somehow stronger than the others and able to contain his joy long enough to open the magazine and read some of the article about his favorite former colleague.

St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries reports that Gilderoy Lockhart, International celebrity and author of such best-selling titles as "Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household Pests" and "Magical Me" has recovered fully from injuries sustained battling You-Know-Who during his short but glorious teaching career at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Healers at St. Mungo's say that he is as handsome and charming as ever, and is excited to be releasing a new book about his ordeal, called "Hanging Around with Healers" due out next November.

Mister Lockhart granted The Quibbler an interview last Tuesday. He could only spare us a few moments of his time as he had a singing engagement with fans in the ward's common room.

Asked about his stay at St. Mungo's, Gilderoy said, "I've had a most enjoyable stay here at the spa, as I like to call it. The staff here are absolutely marvelous, and there's a wonderful girl who brings me my mail every day and helps me respond to it. Greta and I spend hours and hours together, reading and writing. My handwriting is very good, would you like to see it? It's all joined up nicely and it's gotten so very neat. That's Gertrude for you, such a friend as she is; she's made me practice a lot and has been absolutely critical to my recovery."

The Quibbler was particularly interested in Lockhart's new book, "Hanging Around with Healers". When asked if it would give readers an exciting true account of the incident at Hogwarts and his resulting injury, he replied, "Of course, it'll be a fabulous read, I imagine. It will be an instant success, as all of my books have been."


Albus sat back in his chair and watched as students read aloud to each other and cheered. He finally felt relief and joy for them and for himself.


Professor McGonagall grabbed his sleeve and said, "Did you hear, Albus? Gilderoy! He's well! Isn't that wonderful news?"


"Wonderful news indeed, Minerva," Albus agreed. "I shall visit him as soon as time permits and see if he'll accept my invitation to rejoin our staff."


"Excellent idea, Albus! But, what will he teach? We've got a full staff!"


"No matter, Minerva," Albus whispered, his eyes twinkling cheerfully, "He can teach anything he wants. You may have to clear out your desk by the week's end."


Minerva beamed proudly, "Whatever you wish, Headmaster. I would be honored."


Author's Note: I'd like to thank my assistant, Gloria. She helped me put this little thing together, assuring me that I'm a fabulous writer as well as remarkably handsome. If not for Gertrude, this masterpiece would not have been possible. - G.L.

[timeturner]

WestHamFan

Sixth Year
Floo Ferret



The Unexpected Photo

Professor Severus Snape eyed the potion recipe written on the chalkboard in his classroom. If his calculations were correct, he may have finally succeeded in creating a serum to control the greasy hair which had plagued him since his youth. He didn’t think he had been this excited since the last time he had belittled a Gryffindor, which was his favourite thing to do, even if it had no effect on greasy hair. Unfortunately, his happiness was not only interrupted, but ruined by Colin Creevey, who suddenly appeared in the doorway of the classroom.

“Excuse me, sir?” Colin squeaked nervously. “Sir, Professor Dumbledore suggested I come and take your picture for the school paper. May I? Take your picture I mean.”

“Why would my photo be in the paper?” Snape snapped suspiciously.

“Uh…b-be-because,” Colin stuttered, his eyes wide with fear.

“Allow me to explain, Severus,” Albus Dumbledore interrupted Colin graciously, appearing in the corridor behind the young Gryffindor. “I was thinking a small article in the school news, accompanied by a photo of course, would be an appropriate way to notify the students of your newest achievement.”

“My newest achievement,” Snape said slowly, thinking of his hair serum recipe. The thought of his embarrassing hair problem and self-created solution being the subject of a school newspaper article was quite disconcerting. “I must say, I do not think the students would be very…interested.”

“Nonsense, Severus. Most of the students at Hogwarts collect Chocolate Frog Cards, and if I am not mistaken some of the adults do as well,” Professor Dumbledore chuckled, his eyes twinkling. “I am sure they would be very interested to know that you have been given the honour of your own Chocolate Frog Card. I received the privilege many years ago and I must say, it is still one of my proudest achievements. So, come now, why don’t you stand at the head of the classroom and Colin here will take your picture.”

Before Snape had an opportunity to protest further, Colin had aimed the camera and temporarily blinded the Potions Master with the built-in flash.

“Wow! Thanks, Professors!” Colin exclaimed as he left the classroom, camera in hand.

As soon as Colin was out of sight, the Headmaster’s light-hearted expression was replaced with one of concern.

“I was also hoping we may discuss another matter this evening. Perhaps, in my office,” Professor Dumbledore said quietly.

“Of course,” Snape replied.

On their way to Dumbledore’s office, they met Argus Filch in the corridor. The crusty, rusty caretaker was mopping the floor and called to Snape as he walked past.

“You finished in there, Professor?” Filch asked. “Your classroom is the only one left needin’ a cleaning.”

“Do what you must,” Snape said.

Filch ambled into the Potions classroom, taking the mop and his cranky expression with him. Immediately he noticed the writing on the chalkboard.

“Can’t even clean up after himself,” Filch mumbled, searching for an eraser.

********************************************************************

Later that evening, Snape rushed back to his classroom, eager to get started on his degreasing potion. To his dismay, the chalkboard had been wiped clean.

“Filch,” Snape hissed grinding his teeth in anger. The potion was too complicated to brew from memory, he would be forced to start from scratch. Snape went to bed very angry and woke up in an even worse mood. At breakfast, when he took his seat at the staff table in the Great Hall, he found himself looking at his photo on the front page of the school newspaper. To his surprise and delight, the potion recipe could clearly be seen in the background of the picture.

He wouldn’t have to start over after all, he thought to himself. Feeling considerably cheered, he headed back to the dungeons, singing under his breath.

“Gonna wash that grease right outta my hair, gonna wash that grease right out of my hair…”


West Ham Rocks!

[evlpez]

Proud_Pureblood

Seeker
Floo Ferret



Harry Potter Blows his Nose

The Great Hall was quiet while students and professors ate their breakfast. Potter, Weasley and the mudblood were sitting at the Gryffindor table, bragging about their adventures. The hoards of Gryffindor idiots stared open-mouthed in mindless adoration while Potter told yet again how he bravely cowered behind a statue while Professor Dumbledore fought his battle for him, allowing him to escape the Dark Lord.

"Oh look," said Granger, master of the obvious. "The mail's arrived. I've been waiting for the new issue of the Quibbler; I solved its last Arithmancy puzzle before any Ravenclaw and all the teachers in the school because I'm so brilliant. I wonder how I can use the next issue to show off."

Weasley smiled proudly at his mudblood girlfriend, then remembered he was poor and didn't deserve a girlfriend and said sadly, "I can't afford to buy my own copy. Can I read yours after you've pointed out how unworthy the rest of us are? I want to see if anyone got a picture of me riding Harry's coat tails as he saved the Wizarding World again."

The owls dropped the mail on the tables and people began murmuring about the Quibbler's headline.

"You've got to be kidding me. Only the Quibbler would make this news," said Draco Malfoy, turning his nose up in disgust.

Professor Snape passed by, pausing to look at the headline and give Draco fifty points for his good taste, then continued on his way to the dungeons to prepare for his first excellent Potions lesson of the day.

Over at the Gryffindor table, Granger was reading out loud for the benefit of the Weasleys, who hadn't been able to afford to learn how to read.

"Harry Potter Blows his Nose," she began. Red robes flew in all directions as her housemates crowded around to hear the news. This was obviously just the sort of celebrity worship that Gryffindors were up for, not being smart enough to know that there's nothing special about Potter except how he got that stupid scar to begin with.

She continued. "Is our favorite boy hero ill? Sources at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry confided to the Quibbler that The Boy Who Lived may have come down with a nasty cold. Potter was seen out on the Quidditch Pitch with a tissue, wiping and blowing his nose last Thursday. Gryffindor's quidditch practice was cancelled as a result, as no one wanted to put any extra stress on their seeker that might prevent him from playing in the big game or worse; prevent him from saving the world, should the situation arise again soon."

The Gryffindors all looked around at each other, nodding and murmuring to each other, "Oh yeah, can't have that happen," and "What would we all do then?"

Colin Creevey, always desperate to get closer to Potter, rushed over to him. "Are you feeling all right, Harry? Do you want me to do your homework for you? I can run and get you some pepper-up potion if you want."

"No thanks, Colin. I'm sure I'm about to get a dozen owls any minute with presents of tissue and cold relief from my fans," said Potter. "Besides, I don't even have a cold, and you know, I never get too sick to save the world so don't worry."

Everyone sighed in relief as Granger continued reading. "Other sources say Potter isn't even sick at all. Draco Malfoy was in the stands watching the practice. He had this to say:

"Potter was up there looking for the snitch, which of course I had already seen from the stands, being a better seeker. Suddenly he looked all sad and started blubbering about how he can't find the snitch because he's such an awful wizard, not having grown up with wizarding parents. 'Why, oh why?!' I heard him say, 'Why did my mum have to die and leave me all alone in the world?' I felt sorry for him, really. I know what it's like to lose a parent," Malfoy said, referring to his father's unjust incarceration in Azkaban."

Potter interrupted her. "It's true. I wasn't even sick. I was just feeling a little down about having no mum and all. I wasn't blubbering though, the wind got in my eyes and they started tearing up a bit, so I had to land and get a tissue."

"Poor thing," said some Gryffindor or other. "We know it's hard, Harry. We love you, Harry. We'll be your family now."

"Thank you, whoever you are," said Potter, smiling.

"Wait, there's more," said Granger, "and a photograph of you, Ron!"

"Of me? Yay! Finally some recognition!"

Granger read, "An unknown, poorly dressed student was seen picking up the dropped tissue from the Boy Who Lived, presumably to sell it for enough money to buy new clothes."

"Really, Ron?" said Harry, putting a hand on his mate's shoulder. "You should've just asked me for some money. I'm pretty well off with the money my dead parents and dead Godfather left me." Potter paused and got a faraway look on his face before bursting into tears again.

The End

[Azkabella]

LadyLioness

Wicked Witch
Floo Ferret


Feline Frenzy

Professor McGonagall was marking third year exams at her desk while a pair of charmed erasers cleaned the symbols and definitions off of the blackboard behind her. Frowning at lack of effort Colin Creevey had put into the third exam of the term, she didn't notice an unwelcome visitor enter her room. It wasn't until a loud crashing sound erupted beside her that she noticed the intruder.

"Mrs. Norris!" she shrieked, reaching a pitch only Madam Pince had been known to reach.

The cat scurried towards the door, zig-zagging around desks and leaving a black trail behind her. McGonagall looked at the floor beside her desk and saw that several ink bottles had shattered, spilling ink on the formerly neat stack of graded sixth year assignments that were now spread across the floor. The ink had already soaked into the parchment, a simple cleaning charm wouldn't repare the damage.

McGonagall glared at the ink trail left by the cat's tail and found herself transforming into her animagus form. Her ears pointed and her body shrunk, her skin turned to fur and her eyesight sharpened. McGonagall the cat scampered through the door, following the ink trail left by Mrs. Norris. She found the cat snooping around the Muggle Studies classroom. Rearing back on her hindlegs, McGonagall the cat pounced, swatting Filch's cat with her paws. Mrs. Norris hissed and ran out of the room, McGonagall following closely behind her.

They tore down the corridor, distracting the seventh year Defence Against the Dark Arts students during their lesson with Professor Moody. McGonagall pounced and she and Mrs. Norris rolled to the end of the corridor, mewing loudly and swatting at each other.

"What's going on, 'ere?"

Feline McGonagall leapt off of Mrs. Norris as she heard the caretaker's voice. Filch knew her animagus form. She darted down the corridor and turned sharply at the corners. Once inside her classroom she immediately transformed back and shut the door. Her hair was a mess and a her glasses askew, but victory was still hers. That cat would limp for a week.


GRYFFINDOR

[ronsmyman]

Dementor'sLunch

Malevolent
Floo Ferret


The Only Wise Weasley

One morning I rose before the rest of my family and s I walked up the rickety, molding, rotting stairs, of my infinitesimal house, that is paid for by my bumbling muggle-loving fool of a father Arthur Weasley, I walked past the room that our entire family used to share, until father realized that we could add a few more stories, using wood scraps we found in trash bins. This room now belonged to Fred and George, seeing as it was the most stable room in the house, and with all of the explosions that those two miserable red-heads cause, they needed a stable foundation, or the house (perhaps I should say shack) would have been blown away long ago.

Curiosity seized me and I did a wonderfully malicious thing. I broke the blocking spells on the door. It wasn’t as difficult as I had imagined it would be. Those twins may be the best mischief makers in the business, but they are Hogwarts dropouts, so their spells do lack a certain ability to hold.

Applying a few well-placed spells, I had the door open within five minutes and stepped lightly within the room, not wanting to disturb anything until I knew what I was disturbing. I hadn’t been allowed in here since the family had moved out when I was eight. It had really changed. Shelves covered every inch of the walls, holding thousands of objects, though none appeared to be in working order.

Being raised by such insupportable parents as mine had left me pretty much to my own devices, and I had therefore developed an extreme curiosity. This being so, when I saw a bottle on the topmost shelf, just above the fluorescent green bunk beds, I climbed up to grasp it. It was the only thing on the shelf that appeared to be unbroken. I clutched it in my hand and climbed back down to the floor, accidentally crushing a Dumbledore chocolate frog card beyond recognition in the process.

Once back on the floor I was able to examine the bottle more closely. It was smaller than it had looked from the ground, and shaped like a withered hand, the cork rising out of the thumb. It held my fascination for quite some time. I just stood there in the midst of that forbidden room, turning the object over in my hands, looking for some clue as to what was contained within. My Weasley brain, being smaller than that of a normal functioning person, was unable to consider the option that the bottom of the bottle held the clue for a full half hour. When it finally occurred to me to look underneath, I was overjoyed to discover that a small piece of parchment was indeed spellotaped on the underside.

I quickly detached it and read with eager haste. The top of the parchment had a miniature Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes logo on it, so I surmised that it must be some new sort of trick they had been working on. I pocketed the bottle and parchment and left the room, careful to re-block the door with the same weak spells that those incompetent brothers of mine had used.

Once I had taken two steps and was safely within the vicinity of my own room. I sat in the dim light provided by the last candle that my family could afford. Straining my eyes I was able to see that the parchment read, “Malevolence in a Bottle: Strike fear into the hearts of your enemies, just a swallow of this and you’ll be laughing as evilly as your enemy’s worst fear for an hour.” Intrigued I pulled out the cork and sniffed the substance. A putrid decaying stench filled my entire room. It was in no way a bad smell; in fact it covered up that of the decaying clothing in the corner, since mum hadn’t been able to afford doing laundry for a year. It smelled to me like this could be their greatest invention yet. Sure, getting out of Defense Against the Dark Arts is great and all, but the perfect evil laugh, nothing in the world could top that.

Curiosity got the best of me; I put the mouth of the bottle to my lips and slowly tilted the bottle up, allowing the smooth liquid to flow into my mouth and down my esophagus. I didn’t want to just laugh for an hour, I wanted to strike fear into my family for days. I let the potion run until all I could feel were small droplets. I then put the bottle down, took a deep breath, and exhaled. Accompanying my breath, the loudest laugh I had ever heard came out of me. Since my room was not as stable as the twin’s, the loud noise caused the house to shake. It wouldn’t stop either, every time I exhaled (which was quite often as my heart was racing from fear) a rumbling evil laugh bubbled up out of me. I felt like the potion was boiling in my stomach. After three laughs, the boards from the ceiling above me began to fall.

Finally an intelligent thought hit me; I should get out of the house. But as always, intelligence was too late to do me any good. Just as I was stepping out the front door, I let out the loudest cackle yet, I heard something crack upstairs and before I knew it, I heard screams as the house came tumbling down, burying the sleeping members of my family within the rubble. I went to cry for help, even the muggles a few blocks down the lane would have been welcome, but my loud laugh stopped any attempts at words.

I ran up and down the lane laughing evilly and when the Magic Reversal Squad finally showed up three hours later I was still laughing. My inability to speak and the apparent joy at my family’s demise convinced them that I had done this on purpose. I was brought before a court that same evening, still laughing. They sentenced me almost immediately to a life term in Azkaban. That git Dumbledore just looked down his nose, and peered at me through his spectacles, not saying a word in my defense.

Now I am in Azkaban, all happiness has left me, and I am left with the overwhelming guilt that I have killed my family. My only comforter has been the kind Lucius Malfoy, who has convinced me that sooner or later they would have died anyway, and that without their meddling I am now free to do as I wish. He is training me in the ways of the Death Eaters and when the Dark Lord retakes Azkaban, I shall be at his side.


Soon, yes, soon, I shall be free!

[ronsmyman]

Rok

Monster
Floo Ferret


BIG NOT MEEN GIANT

*Haggy Help

Quibbler September 17, 1995

Harry Reed Payper at morning food. See wurds. Wurds say. Big not Meen giant “Big giant in trees, in Hogwarts forest, eet food, deers gone, sentawrs mad, throw roks at big giant, giant cries, and chase sentawrs. Sentawrs run and say big giant meen. Big giant not meen, big giant loney, no haggy in sun, Haggy ony in moon.”

“Big nice giant like birdys for food, sentawrs like birdys for moosik. They mad wen giant eet birdys for food. Haggy mad too. Big giant, eet haggy’s friend. Haggy crys, Big Giant sad wen Haggy sad. Big Giant give Haggy hug, Haggy hurt arm frum hug.”

Harry put payper on tayble. “Ron, Hermy,” Harry say, “see payper”

Ron Hermy look. They sad.

“We go in forist,” Ron say “We not see Big Giant who eet bird.”

“Poor Haggy, friend eeted,” Hermy say.

“Let we find giant,” Harry say.

“I not no,” Hermy say, she wurry fer skool and graide gradiez graydz. Hermy not like trubble.

“It be fine Hermy,” Ron say. “We bin befour, we not get in trubble with Dumbly.”

Hermy still wurri and shake hed. Soon Harry Ron try make Hermy go. Meen boy with wite hare cum and be meen to Harry Ron Hermy. He say, “Potter dum, no Mahmee mommy (knew how ter spell that’un), no daddy, no bruvver sister. I hav famly, you dum. Reed dumb payper and beeleev things in payper cause dum.” He tell Hermy Harry Ron “go to forest and fake giant will eet you. We all be happy wen Harry eeted.”

Harry Ron mad, Hermy sad. Meen boy with wite hare get hit from Harry. Meen boy with wite hare cries for long time. Hermy laugh, not sad now.

“We go in forest,” she say. “We not scare like you meen boy with wite hair. We fight lots bad things beefour, you scare and run from bad things. You cow herd, couard scare of meen things cuz you bad, we good.”

Hermy walk out food room, Harry Ron cum too, Harry say, “Hermy, you good at make meen boy go away. He cry now. Go to meen teecher, not Haggy, haggy nice teecher, meen boy go to meen teecher with uggy blak hare.”

They go to find giant in forest, and not find him, cuz giant is eeting in hut with Haggy. They go to Haggy hut and eet tee with giant and haggy. Giant not eet nice Harry Hermy Ron, they Haggy frends, big giant like haggy frends.

Layter Harry say “It good we reed payper. We hav new frend. Big giant nice, not meen, he and haggy are nice big peeple, we hav tea with them lots now.”

THE END


*This story in no way reflects true events. There’s not a giant hidin’ out ‘n the ferbidden forest.

**Fer a giant who barely learned t’speak, I think this entry is very good, though there are prob’ly a few mistakes. I never was much good at spellin’ and stuff.
-“Haggy"



I Luv MY Bruvver!!!

[agrippa]

SlytherinRulz!!!!

Serpent Dude
Floo Ferret


Scar-Head 0, Crabbe 1000000000

The scar-head freak looked at the Quibbler. He nearly wet himself, he was so scared. The headline was “Azkaban Doors Open: Death Eaters Escape.”

“Oh my goodness,” cried Scar-Head, tears of fear running down his cheeks from under his stupid glasses. “What I am going to do? Those tough Death Eaters will be after me for sure.”

“Now, my little tumple-wumpkins,” said the curly-haired buck-toothed book-loving mud-blood girl next to him. “Don’t cry. You’ve always escaped from them before.”

“Yeah,” said Scar-Head. “But I always got lucky or my beloved Dumbledore showed up to save me. Isn’t Dumbledore super-duper?”

“Well, yes,” agreed Buck-Tooth. “Maybe we should go talk to him right now, my darling.”

“Can I at least finish breakfast?” asked the shabby-looking red-head sitting with them. They waited as his stuffed the last five sausages in his mouth and then wrapped some leftovers in a napkin to send to his poor parents later, since they don’t have enough money to eat much.

As they got up to leave, the handsome Draco Malfoy, splendidly dressed in his school robes, prefect’s badge glinting in the morning light, walked up to them. Scar-Head’s knees began to shake, because he saw that Draco was accompanied by his two wicked tough pals.

“Hey, Potter,” said Draco. “I bet the Quibbler’s got you frightened, eh?”

“N-n-n-no, not at a-a-a-all,” stammered Scar-Head.

“Going to find Dumbledore, are you?” said Draco, flashing his brilliantly white teeth.

“Maybe.”

“Well,” said Draco. “You’re wasting your time. He’s in London.”

Scar-Head started to cry again. The three friends ran off to hide in Gryffindor tower with the other losers and mud-blood lovers.

As Draco and his two friends got ready to leave, a beautiful seventh-year Slytherin girl named Glenda Greenrook approached the trio. She said “hello” to Draco, but then walked over to Vincent Crabbe.

“Oh, Vince,” she said, squeezing his well-muscled arm. “Your so muscular and strong. Would you like to take a walk with me around the lake?”

“Well, sure,” replied the ever-smooth Vincent Crabbe. He and the hot chick walked out of the Great Hall as Draco turned green with jealousy.



Slytherin rokz, and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise.

[AnimeEyeshime]

I_still_remember

Quidditch Deity
Floo Ferret

Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!

Colin Creevy was often widely acknowledged as one of the most talkative, curious, and altogether annoying people in the entire school. There were few people had not fallen prey to the sudden brilliant illumination and loud click of his old-fashioned Muggle camera.

He’d even gotten into the habit of taking it to DA meetings, getting “action shots” of the various members. He was under the pain of death, serious torture, or being the Weasley twins’ new tester if he were to let those photos fall into the hands of those not a part of Dumbledore’s Army, and he took this responsibility seriously. After seeing how enthusiastic he was about it, Harry had been forced to let the photography continue, even though it got on everyone’s nerves.

But tonight, Colin’s camera was going to redeem itself. He had gotten wind from his younger brother of the perfect place to find the photo that would make his friends—mainly the members of DA—appreciate his photographic bent. Now, all he had to do was get there.

It was 8:30 at night when he left the Gryffindor common room, and this was risky enough as everyone was supposed to be in their various common rooms by nine o’clock. He was willing to risk breaking curfew, though, for this chance. There was nothing in Hogwarts and not even on Earth that could cause him to miss this opportunity.

“Colin, where are you going?’ Ginny Weasley asked as he walked past her and her friend Luna Lovegood in a hurry.

“There’s a photo op just waiting for me,” he said excitedly. Ginny nodded politely and smiled.

“Well, then, that’s nice…come on, Luna…”

Luna surveyed Colin and his camera. “I should like to see this with my own eyes.”

Colin frowned, a little uneasy at this request, but upon seeing Ginny’s renewed interest, he shrugged. “I guess you guys could come along…but we’ve got to make sure no one sees us, okay?”

Ginny and Luna fell into step behind Colin, and it was Ginny who finally said, “Who’s involved in this, anyway?”

“It’s a secret,” Colin said mysteriously. “It’s for DA…sort of.”

“By the way, how did those pictures turn out with our Stunning session?” Luna asked in her dreamy, unconcerned tone of voice.

“They’re okay. It’s a challenge, sometimes…” Colin said, trailing off. “There’re wizard cameras that make wizard photography easier, but I do all right on my own.”

“I guess now the House knows what to get you for your birthday,” Ginny said, smiling.

“That would definitely be appreciated…”

They stopped talking as they reached the entrance hall, and Colin dashed for a doorway partially hidden by a tapestry. “It should be around here…hmm…” His hand traced the archway of the doorway, until he found the aberrant stone and pushed it in. The door slid open, and Ginny whistled, impressed.

“Nice…where does it go?”

“Down to the lake,” Colin answered, lighting his wand before venturing into the tunnel-like corridor. Luna and Ginny did likewise.

They had been walking for a long time, silent in the darkness, until Colin whispered, “It should be just up ahead…”

The corridor leveled out, and the floor had become increasingly damp and sticky. “This reminds me of the first year trip,” Ginny said quietly.

“It’s probably part of the same passages,” Luna replied. “There can’t be that many different ways down to the lake.”

Colin gestured for them to be quiet, and they did so, belatedly. He snuck into the cavern exaggeratedly, on tiptoe, and Ginny and Luna exchanged a bemused look before following suite. He stopped on the edge of the lake, on the boundary between the slick rock face and one of two piers. “Now…where is he?”

“He?” the girls asked in unison, and he shushed them quickly. “He?” Luna repeated, in a barely heard voice.

Colin readied his camera, not trusting himself to answer Luna quietly enough. The element of surprise was key to catching one’s suspect unaware.

He knew it was time when Ginny gasped from behind him, and he spun around and caught his subject on camera. Already he knew it would be a perfect picture. He pushed Luna and Ginny back towards the way they had come, and they were able to run before the subject had recovered from his shock. And hopefully, Colin thought, he wouldn’t be able to identify his “attackers”…

“That was possibly the scariest thing I have ever seen,” Ginny said, between breaths as they ran back to the main school.

“That was brilliant,” Luna agreed. “I’m sure Daddy could even use it in the magazine.”

Ginny grinned. “That would be too perfect. Colin, how’d you know?”

“A good photojournalist never reveals his sources,” Colin said solemnly.

“They say that a picture is worth a thousand words…” Luna mused.

“I’d pay more than a thousand words for that!” Ginny said, delighted. “Snape in his swimming trunks! With a rubber ducky!”

“They were polka dotted,” Colin said cheerfully. “And they’ll be making an appearance at the next DA meeting.”

"I believe in butterflies and quiet songs, in early sunrises and the stars at night..." -Bobbi Hervin

[McGonagall's Cat]

Wisteria&Cabbage

Squib
Floo Ferret



The Daughter I Never Had


It was the middle of the day when the little sister of Harry Potter’s best friend first pushed on the door to her other brothers’ room. The dear little redhead was too curious for her own good. Pointing her toy wand she murmured, “Alohamora.” This, of course, did nothing to break the exceptional charms the boys had placed on the door, but the wand did emit a few pretty sparks. Not to be stopped by such a minor detail, the darling girl went outside to sit on the rope swing and contemplate the possibilities. It was a gorgeous day, not at all dreary like days frequently are in Surrey.

As she sat slightly swaying in the warm sunshine inspiration struck. Quickly she dashed to the broom shed. Borrowing Charlie’s old Clean Sweep, she pushed at the ground as though leaping over a ditch, and rose into the air. Aware that her wonderful mother might not approve of such a dangerous stunt, Ginny flew close to the house, directly to the window of Fred’s and George’s room.


Uttering a hover charm she’d overheard her bigger brothers use, she deftly stepped onto the windowsill and lifted the window, completely unconcerned about the dangerous heights and horrible fall she could easily take. Once inside the cluttered room, the sweet girl began to explore.

A funny whirring sound drew her attention to a cabinet with a large padlock on a hasp across its doors. The padlock had no keyhole, showing it to be a wizard’s lock that Muggles and Squibs can’t work. Ginny, however, was neither. The bright little witch looked about the room, settling on a wooden box full of odd stones and metal pieces that was sitting near Fred’s trunk. She carried the box to the cabinet and tried each piece in turn until a brass six-pointed star felt warm as it touched the lock. A sweet smile crossed her lips, though she looked over her shoulder to make certain the coast was clear.

Placing the star on the lock’s face, she gently pushed and turned. The lock clicked open easily for such a bright and talented girl! Inside the cabinet a small device sat humming and spitting out yellow candies from a crooked spout. On the shelves below were heaps and piles, bowls and bins, wooden, glass, and metal containers of items resembling Muggles’ salt-water taffy and Christmas crackers. She selected a waxpaper wrapped lump and a larger silver-paper covered tube, then re-sealed the cabinet, replaced the star in the box, and put the box back where she had found it, like a good girl.

Her toy wand was capable of more actual magic than one would suppose. Drawing it from a pocket, she cleverly used it to leave the boys a note. Large letters, in a delightful childish hand, floated over the Twins’ beds.

Leave my dollies alone or I’ll tell Mom what you have in the cabinet.

She quietly rode the broom to the shed, putting it back into its holder just as her over-worked mother called her to lunch. Ginny rushed inside and washed her hands as all good children are trained to do, then sat down to eat with her Mum.

“What have you been doing all morning?” Mrs. Weasley asked pleasantly between bites of the simple yet nutritious meal she’d prepared.

“Nothing. Just playing on the swing and stuff,” the beautiful child replied. “When do Dad and the boys get back from town?”

Her mother smiled. Glancing at the huge clock on the other side of the room, she said, “They’ll be home soon. It must be lonely to not have anyone to play with. Would you like to help me make a cake for tonight’s desert?”



I cats

[Azkabella]

sadnlonely1

Dead
Floo Ferret


THE HAPPIEST DAY OF EVERYONE'S LIVES

Harry potter ran into the girls’ bathroom on the first floor with the new Quibbler in his hands.

“Myrtle! Myrtle! You’ll never believe it!”

“What is it?” asked Myrtle sweetly, gliding gracefully from one of her stalls.

“There’s a cure. They’ve discovered a cure!”

“A cure to what?”

“Death!”

Myrtle couldn’t believe it. Tears welled in her eyes, but she did not cry. “What do you mean?”

Harry adjusted his glasses on his slender nose as he used his manly hands to flip through the colorful pages of the magazine.

“Here,” said Harry, pointing to a paragraph on page fifteen. “Former Hogwarts students Fred and George Weasley discovered a potion that, when sprayed on ghosts, will make them solid and living. The joke shop owners discovered this life-altering potion when trying to brew a potion to enhance the stench of dungbombs. Just imagine, Myrtle, you’ll be alive again!”

“I can’t believe it! I never imagined this, never!”

“Now we can finally be together!”

“Really?”

“Of course. You’re being dead and see-through was the only thing that kept me from asking you to the Yule Ball two years ago. You’re the only girl for me.”

Harry grinned and Myrtle smiled happily. Behind him the doors to the bathroom opened and in marched a large group of students, led by Harry’s nasty friend with the red hair and that girl who’d turned herself into a cat. She carried in her hands a potion flask with a spray nozzle on top of it. Everyone was smiling and cheering, saying things like “Good on you, Myrtle!”, “Can’t wait to have you back, Myrtle!”

“Are you ready?” asked the Harry’s friend with the frizzy hair, pointing the nozzle and the glowing ghost. “One… two… three!”

The mist didn’t go through Myrtle as it sprayed, but instead it hit her. She was solid! She had color!

“Oh, Myrtle!” cried Harry with tears in his eyes, wrapping his arms around her. All of the students in Hogwarts, who had secretly loved the quiet ghost the entire time, crowded into the girls’ bathroom and hugged the now living Myrtle.

“We all want to say we’re sorry,” said Olive Hornby, who was now a bitter, ugly older woman. “We never should’ve teased you.”

“Yes,” agreed a fifth year Hufflepuff. “You’re glasses are really quite fetching.”

“And we’ve all had our share of acne,” chimed in Eloise Midgeon.

“And we’re not all pixies,” confessed Millicent Bulstrode.

“The truth is, Myrtle, that we’ve always been jealous of you. You and your awesome death. We know that when we snuff it that it won’t be nearly as exciting as being killed by a big snake in the bathroom!”

Everyone cheered in agreement. “I don’t care about death anymore!” Myrtle announced loudly. “I’m alive, and I’m happy!”

Myrtle wept tears of joy as the delighted crowd carried her out of the bathroom, down the marble staircase, through the oak double doors and off into the sunset. Life after the afterlife was going to be grand.


WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

[cherabela]

Sockless_Person

Ear Wax Flavour
Floo Ferret



Watch out for that beetle!

She clung on to the window-ledge, regardless of the tormenting gales and slashing rain beating down upon her, vowing to crush her. Her persistence was one, which not many possessed. Someone had carelessly left the window open, and she would have never missed such a chance to return in that same spotlight she had once embraced. This was her chance. She scuttled a bit closer to the warm indoors.

Fudge sat in his chair, deep shadows under his eyes, and a look as if many years had passed over him suddenly. He seemed even too weary to be sitting there.

Rita pricked her antlers as the door of the Minister’s office opened. What she heard was highly interesting to her. ‘So Fudge fears Dumbledore will take his place?’ she asked, silent to all ears, as the Ministry official walked out of the room. ‘I can already see the title! “Ratty-dore as Minister?” Now I wonder if-’

But a sudden gust of wind came beating unexpectedly upon her, and she found herself being flown into Fudge’s office. The Minister for Magic was for too deep in thought to note a black beetle zooming around unsuspended, trying to make its way as close to him as possible like a very eager fan. She settled on a velvet coloured book, which said, Death Omens: What to Do When You Know the Worst Is Coming in gold lettering.

‘Fudge has started believing in death omens now? Interesting. This will keep the Ministry busy,’ she thought, satisfied. Rita saw Fudge get up, trudge over to a small cabinet and produce a half-empty bottle of Ogden’s Old Firewhisky.

‘Fudge is drinking?’ she said, her eyes bulging slightly. ‘I wish Bozo were here. He’d be able to get a great picture of the monkey-fool drinking his place as Minister goodbye. That would do the front page of the Prophet! Yes, “Drunk Minister Considers”.

A shade of red bustled into the room. It was Percy Weasley with a stack of papers, which seemed too heavy for his arms to lift. “I have the papers Sir,” he said pompously, placing the pile neatly in the centre of Fudge’s office desk, which Rita missed by mere inches. “More owls are coming in about the demen-”

He stopped abruptly, seeing the Minister’s face getting even paler. Silence reigned for a while, which through the long year she had been a Daily Prophet reporter, Rita had learned to obey. “And I have sent Dolores Umbridge the flowers you requested,” he added hastily.

‘Dolores Umbridge?!’ Rita thought, her insides wanting to scream with excitement. ‘The woman who was said to have turned Hogwarts into a battlefield and has now become a freak herself? I simply must go pay her a visit. I’m sure she’d be very happy to allow me an interview!’

Fudge had resumed drinking his whisky in a slow and hesitant manner, and so Rita turned her attention to Percy, obviously noting that the Minister was losing his famed attention from others.

‘He’s Arthur Weasley’s son,’ she said to herself, as Percy, seeing that he was no longer needed, left the office to get back to his work. ‘He’d surely feel ignored if I didn’t go check on him,’ she thought.

She scuttled to the edge of the desk and peered down. Certainly not! She’d be dead before she hit the floor if she jumped, and then who could produce such an amazing article? Getting down would be a difficult process. Ah, but she was the famed Rita Skeeter and could always find the proper solution to achieving a scoop.

Seeing that Fudge had his back turned to her, she donned her wings and flew her way to the safe ground and left the office. Avoiding the feet of busy Ministry workers, she scuttled close to the elevator. She got on when the golden grille slid back, as if it were a very common thing for a black beetle to use this means of transport. If the sole Ministry worker in the elevator with her, had taken his eyes from his copy of the Daily Prophet and looked down, he would have noticed the comical touch to the scene he had found himself in. He was a stooped, timid-looking old wizard, with fluffy white hair.

The cool female voice finally announced, “Level Two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, including the Improper Use of Magic Office, Auror Headquarters, and Wizengamot Administration Services.” Coincidentally, it also happened to be the man in the elevator’s destination too.

She scuttled along, trying hard not to make it seem too obvious that she was no ordinary beetle. Dodging feet was a more difficult process than before. Once, she was nearly hit by a flying memo, which seemed to be finding it rather hard to steer its way correctly due to its excessive weight.

‘Turn this corner, then that,’ she said to herself. ‘Arthur Weasley will be so pleased to see me!’ She passed through a door, which bore a tarnished plaque reading, Misuse of Muggle Artifacts. Instantly, a violent jet of purple sparks came down to greet her. This journey was turning out to be far too perilous than she had imagined.

Arthur Weasley was standing behind his desk with a rusty kettle in front of him, which had a pus green liquid frothing out of it, as it occasionally emitted purple sparks.

“Good morning Arthur,” said the man from the elevator as he walked inside, sitting at the only other desk.

“Good morning Perkins,” Arthur Weasley replied politely. Despite the false and harsh rumours concerning it, the Weasley family was quite known for being a kind, honourable, and hospitable wizarding family.

Perkins was now looking at the kettle on his partner’s desk. “Is it bad?”

“Well not much. But it has already caused some minor problems,” he explained, shooting a glance at one of his posters on the wall, which used to show a dismantled engine. Now, one could admire the burnt remains of the spot where a jet of sparks had left its marks. “It’s nothing I can’t handle,” Arthur said as an afterthought. “It also has a wire attached to it for ekeltricity, see?” he said excitedly pointing at it.

Rita started looking around, disappointed at how boring this office could prove to be, in her opinion. Looking out of the door, she saw a flaming strawberry-red chunk of hair pass by. Its colour was so violent that it seemed to be radiating heat, and making everything else around it seem pale. Deciding it would probably be far more interesting, she set off after the blood-red-headed figure.

“He actually said that Tonks?” she heard a young woman ask the redhead.

“Yes he did. I thought he was joking,” Tonks replied truthfully.

‘Nymphadora Tonks,’ Rita pondered. She could vaguely remember a woman by that name. ‘Yes she’s an Auror,’ she said at last, remembering.

The two women approached a large fireplace, which had a pot sitting on the mantelpiece.

“Why don’t we just apparate?” the woman asked.

“No. I want to see how the green flames look with the colour of my hair,” Tonks said grinning, as she took some powder from the pot, spilling some in the process.

“All you need now is a red dress,” said the other, giggling.

“Yes, but I need to go to Madam Malkin’s anyway,” Tonks said, stepping right into the fireplace.

Realising that they were probably going to Diagon Alley, Rita flew into the fireplace with Tonks. She couldn’t apparate without transforming in her human form again; it wasn’t worth revealing her secret, so the Floo Network was the only way.

Tonks cried, “Diagon Alley!” and they were both engulfed in green flames. Rita felt her head spin slightly, although she had done this many times before.

She came out at the other end to be met with the dazzling sunlight shining on the busy and packed streets of Diagon Alley. She decided to maintain her animagus form for a while longer, and started making her way through the crowd of people laden with their shopping. She turned a corner to be met with the complete opposite of the alley she had just left. A mouldy wooden sign announced her entrance in Knockturn Alley. She transformed into her human form and walked briskly down the street, talking to herself.

“I need to buy some new Quick Quotes Quills. That silly Muggle-born girl won’t be able to stop me from publishing this time,” she said, grinning in a sly manner. “I need to find Bozo,” she continued. “I’m sure he’ll be very glad to see me again.”

She continued walking, thinking of things she could write about Fudge. For that was Rita Skeeter. She would go to any means, in her sly and cunning manner, to achieve the report blinded people would read. Yet, she could never learn the secret admirations and true ambitions a person deeply believes in, like an obsolete dingbat’s desire for new socks.



And I sing, “Odd socks here, Odd socks there, Odd socks everywhere!”

[timeturner]

Mother_Hen

Leader of the Pack
Floo Ferret


Mum Knows Best

As I listened to my parents chastise the twins again for eavesdropping, I knew I had to do something. There was no way that Fred and George's claim of not having any more extendable ears was true. Poor, trusting Mum and Dad probably believed them too. The twins didn't want to lie, they just couldn't help themselves. Like Dad says, the boys really don't mean any harm by listening in when they shouldn't be, they just want to help. The thing is, my parents are right when they say us kids are too young to know about Order business. It's dangerous. But my stubborn brothers just wouldn't listen to reason.

Suddenly, I had an idea. I could sneak into the twins' room and find their hidden sets of extendable ears. Without the magical devices, Fred and George wouldn't catch even a snippet of information that they weren't supposed to hear. The thought of what I was about to do made me feel guilty, but really, it was for their own good.

Making sure no one else was around, I snuck quietly to the door of Fred and George's room and wriggled the doorknob. Locked. If only underage magic was allowed outside of school! I realised without being able to use magic, I had no way of unlocking the door. The twins had a book describing how Muggles open locks, but it was probably in their room too. Disappointed, I stood in the hall trying to think of another way. Then it came to me, the window. Dad had told tales of Muggle children climbing trees. If a Muggle could climb a tree, certainly a Witch could too. As luck would have it, there was a huge willow, not of the whomping variety, right outside Fred and George's bedroom window.

I ran down the stairs and out the front door. Ron was outside, but too distracted to pay attention to what I was doing. Mum had him de-gnoming the garden as punishment for his cheek. The old willow tree was in the perfect position. A branch ran right to the ledge of the twins' window. The large tree seemed suddenly intimidating, but I had no other option. I gripped the tree and began my ascent. The bark scratched my sensitive skin and the footholds were few. After alot of climbing, I was finally high enough to reach the ledge. I crawled along the sprawling branch and tried to open the window. It stuck for a moment before yielding to my struggles.

I launched myself through the open window, crashing to the floor of the twins' room. I tried heaving myself into a sitting position, but found myself stuck to the floor. What had I landed on, I thought with horror. Fred and George must have been inventing something new. Perhaps that was why they had been locked in their room for the last two days. If only they could apply their genius to something less...sticky. With difficulty I managed to lift my right arm. It was covered in green goo, but didn't appear damaged. I held tight to the footboard of George's bed and pulled myself up. I turned around and realised I had landed directly on top of their potions set. All of the tiny beakers and vials were smashed. Feathers from some creature were strewn throughout the entire room, some of them stuck to the sticky substance on my back and in my hair.

I attempted to walk across the room, my feet making sick, squelching noises each time I lifted them. A loud noise startled me and I whipped around, tipping over one of the bedside tables that held an aquarium full of mice. The tiny, squeaking critters were released from their glass prison and spread out through the room. One of them ran across my feet. I jumped back and smashed the mirror atop one of the old wooden bureaus, showering even more glass upon the floor. The bureau groaned and creaked and suddenly collapsed in a pile of wood and Merlin knows what else.

I looked around at the damage I had accidentally caused and decided the twins had been punished enough. They could keep their ears and if I cleaned myself up fast enough I could keep my snooping a secret.



YOU COULD HAVE DIED!

[StarWalker]

Friar's Cap

Nuzzler
Floo Ferret


Anticipation

A cold breeze whispered through the copse of gnarled oak, gently bending the taller grasses. Swirling bits of dead leaves and dried heather, remnants of autumn’s dying glory, rose and fell along paths that that wandered across the clearing, stretching towards the fading sun. He stood motionless, not watching the sunset, but sampling and tasting the myriad of scents carried across the lake on the westerly wind.

Head held proudly high, neck muscles straining and tight with unaccustomed weight, he surveyed his domain, a blurry, surrealistic landscape of grays, faded yellows, dull metallic blues, and dim blue-greens. Two more days, he thought, looking back towards where the waxing moon would soon appear. Will they make it tonight?

Two years earlier, the three friends had set a goal, a dream rooted in desire to help yet another friend, sown by innate ability, and nurtured by youth’s unwillingness to accept defeat. Research, struggle, and practice had finally culminated in success, at least for him, yet without the help of the other two, he was uncertain as to his ability to complete their mission. Doubt sparred with the confidence the last twenty-four hours had given him.

He snorted and tossed his head; the click of antler against branch seemed unnaturally loud. Twitching at the noise, he fought the instinct to jump and turn towards the sound he knew he had made. Ears shifted spastically, instincts so ingrained in his form as to be uncontrollable.

Heightened senses marked the change, bringing with them a flood of sounds and scents so intense they nearly overwhelmed him. Pride in his ability to change at will - this was, after all, his third consecutive transfiguration – caused him to toss his head again, and snort at the sky. Certain things, he noted silently to himself, seemed to be instinctive based on form.

I’ll have to remember to ask Peter and Sirius, when they master this, he thought, finding it difficult to concentrate on what he wanted to remember. Another effect of form, I guess. I wonder if we missed something, something that would keep more of me in this form. If only we dared ask more questions!

Confused by his muddled thoughts, and inability to formulate them clearly, he relaxed, and let the tug of his body drive his actions. Surveying the rock strewn field down to the lakeshore, he stood motionless, an occasional twist of his head, as he searched for any sign of movement, the only indication he was not stone.

I could never stand this still and quiet! he exulted, amazed, as he sampled the crisp air one last time. Now run! His mind sent the command to his muscles, letting the instincts of his new form take over. Though he started at a gentle lope, by the time he reached the edge of the lake he was moving at a dead run, fighting the urge to slow and sample the surroundings. His eyes darted back and forth across his path, more and more wildly, as he entered territory not fully analyzed, desperately attempting to focus, and clear the blur.

Ignoring his racing heartbeat, he continued around the rim of the lake, feeling only the rush of air past his hurtling body, scenting the rapidly changing odors of the rotting vegetation along side the clean smell of the water itself. First uncomfortably, then with increasing difficulty, he maintained his pace.

The fight, he realized, was not between his physical resources, but his mental ones. His body was well able to continue the effort, but the instincts of the stag insinuated into his mind, blocking the goals his human reason set for his body. Swamped by the noises he was creating, his hearing tried to shut down; his ears stopped their incessant rotation. His heartbeat pulsed throughout his body, the surging of blood sensed more than heard, impinging on his eardrums with sufficient force to block the shot-like reports from the fallen branches, snapping beneath his pounding hooves.

Entering the oaks where he had started, he skidded to a sudden stop; his rear legs collapsed, dropping his rump to the frost hardened ground. Struggling back to his feet, he stood proudly, head down, not attempting to lift the unbalancing rack of antlers. Each expansion of his lungs brought in a large volume of cold air, invigorating his body.

Two more days, and then… For the first time, the full realization of what they were attempting hit him; for the first time a twinge of fear, quickly quashed, coursed through him, translated by his altered body into a command to listen, and smell; instinctive commands quickly quelled by his human side. Is Remus right? Is he only a danger to humans in his werewolf guise? What if there’s a difference between a stag, and a human with the form of a stag? What if…

James’ human mind smashed his doubts. His stag form snorted and tossed his head in pride. Two more days…


I will reveal to you a love potion, without medicine, without herbs, without any witch’s magic; if you want to be loved, then love. - Hecaton of Rhodes

[cherabela]

Veritaserum_Boy


Greasy Haired
Floo Ferret


Beyond Expectations


The usual peaceful streets of Hogsmeade were filled with the blabber of Hogwarts students, thinking that it is a free-school day while forgetting the amount of homework they had been purposefully given. The Three Broomsticks was as crowded as usual, as students went to and fro with mugs in their hands, excited for no reason at all. They often seem to act that way, like when they meet the famous Harry Potter.

Among the throng, the famous trio couldn’t have been forgotten. Miss Granger got up bossily from their table and went to the bar to get drinks for them all. There she found herself face to face with none other than Miss Lovegood, clutching a copy of the magazine The Quibbler in her hands. It is ridiculous to think that a girl, who is supposed to have enough wit to be in Ravenclaw, should read such a ludicrous magazine. Clumsy Longbottom sat beside her, beaming, perhaps thinking that Miss Granger would help him in some essay again.

“Hermione! You should really read this!” he said excitedly, waving at her, showering butterbeer all over his robes.

Miss Granger sidled next to him, looking over his shoulder as he read the article in a quivering manner, clutching his own copy of the magazine.

“Weird Sisters or Just Weird?
Are they more than they seem?

Among the most talented voices broadcasted on the Wide Wizarding Network (WWN), the musical group, The Weird Sisters is one of the most popular. Its eight members are widely known, and their songs are said to be as unique as their style. Recently the group translated their latest song, “Poison-bound” into Troll. In answer to [I]The Quibbler’s inquiries, the group’s lead singer Myron Wagtail stated that they wished that every person and creature be allowed to enjoy their music.

BUT DO THEY?

It is known that Trolls are an ignorant type of creature, with no interest in music whatsoever. So what is The Weird Sisters’ REAL purpose? All of the group’s members are excellent speakers of Troll. Could it be that their translated song but be a message to all the Trolls for a renewed allegiance with the Dark Lord? Perhaps, the members are Tro-[/I]”

“Oh what rubbish!” Miss Granger rudely interrupted, not for the first time in her life. Longbottom sat staring stupidly at her.

“What’s wrong with the article?” Miss Lovegood asked, drifting back to reality.

“Honestly, Potions class is far more interesting than that! How could The Weird Sisters be trolls? That would be like comparing Professor Snape to Lockhart! It’s all nonsense! You should all be studying the properties of the bezoar, especially you Neville,” she shot at them.

With that, she spun around and walked back to Weasley and Potter, taking a leaf out of Longbottom’s stained book and forgetting to buy drinks.

“What’s up?” Weasley asked, fuming at her forgetfulness.

“According to The Quibbler, The Weird Sisters are supposed to be trolls in disguise, just because they are fluent in the language, and that they are trying to reassemble the Dark Lord’s army of trolls,” Miss Granger said sceptically, in her know-it-all manner. Unfortunately, she always acts in her superior way, showing off in class and shadowing all the other students in her year except the brilliant students of Slytherin House, with her supposed knowledge.

“That’s why Colin was so excited this morning,” Weasley sputtered. “He and Dennis had a real fight at breakfast over who could read it first,” he said, referring to the same article which the Slytherins had all noticed and read before any Gryffindor.

“It’s all nonsense! How can you believe that?” Miss Granger returned hotly, causing more people than they already had, to notice their presence, which was nothing special at all.

“Who said I di- Harry are you all right?” Weasley asked suddenly, over-reacting.

Potter sat hunched at the table, clutching his scar tightly.

********************************************************************************
*************

The Dark Lord rose from his seat, his red-blood eyes shining, laughing menacingly. He turned to a group of his most faithful Death Eaters.

“He is alone. Go! Hogwarts won’t be Harry Potter’s safe refuge with Dumbledore for much longer.”

********************************************************************************
*************

He should have listened; he should have learned how to control it. But no. He was the famous Potter and he didn’t care what risks others put themselves in, just to keep him alive. He had never learned how to master Occlumency, and his mind was just as weak as himself. Then again, he is James Potter’s son, and no son of that man could have ever turned out as unlike his father as Potter; just as rude, just the mischief-maker, just the same Potter.



I like to sing "Double Double Boil and Trouble...." while playing with my chemistry set.

[StarWalker]

Friar's Cap

Nuzzler
Floo Ferret


Success

Success! His mind screamed exultantly. I did it James! You may have been first, you may have beaten me this time, but I’ve done it!

Quick anger surged through his body, momentarily surprising him with its depth and intensity. Confusion partially masked the feeling, which faded as rapidly as it had risen. Uncertainty, created by the swirling emotions, battered his nervous system, causing him to pause in his attempt to assess his altered circumstances.

Merlin’s beard, James! Again, the intense antagonism, directed towards his friend, caught him short. Why didn’t you warn me about this? Each critical though brought the same swift, sharp reaction, a spike of dislike that manifested itself physically. The short hairs on the back of his neck stiffened and stood straight; his lips curled back from his teeth; an involuntary sound, a growl so low, starting far back in his throat, never heard, only felt.

So, certain thoughts cause a physical reaction, he mused. Let’s see now…what if I think about James, yesterday during transfiguration. As he waited, a feeling of well being, of warmth, tugged at his mind. Well now, that wasn’t so bad. Ok then, how about Snivellus... Astonished, he was unable to complete his thought, as his legs braced stiffly against the ground and his eyes narrowed, bringing a slightly clearer view of his surroundings. He bristled, the low growl of his earlier reaction now a deep, penetrating threat. Whoa, there! That caused a stir. Let’s try Peter…

After a few minutes, he had categorized the effect thoughts of various people had on his body, ranging from pleasure at the thought of James, through the borderline loss of control when thinking of Snape. Thought of Peter invoked no strong feelings, while thought of Lily Evans confused his combination mind; thought of Remus was similar to that of James, but thought of Remus in werewolf form gave rise to feelings of brotherhood, and a desire to race.

I wonder what animal I am, he mused, as he thought of his werewolf friend, that I want to race him. Hmm…how do I see what I look like? What did James…

Sirius had been outdoors when he had made his last attempt to transform. James had warned him last night that he would have no control over his shape; he had become a stag only yesterday morning, and, trapped in the transfiguration classroom, unable to open the door, his first success ended swiftly and ignominiously. Even when he went to the small patch of oaks at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, and transformed, he was unable to see what he was.

The lake! I can see what I look like in the lake! As he trotted towards the lake, he reviewed what he already knew of his appearance and abilities. Large, black, shaggy, four-legged, he thought wryly. Obviously not a stag, and clearly not feline, porcine, or ursine; nor, for that matter, piscine or avine. He could feel his lips peeling away from his teeth in a sort of smile as he mentally pictured the last two categories. I’ll bet I’m either lupine or canine.

Vision isn’t as bad as James suggested, although everything is a little blurry. He stopped, and concentrated on the bush ahead; doing so brought it into slightly better focus. Looks to be about 100 feet away, I reckon. If I count paces… His thought trailed off, as he considered his problem perplexedly. But how far is a pace? Lifting his right front paw, he tried to examine it, and quickly discovered his snout got in the way of his careful perusal.

Several minutes later, he had discovered he could see better by looking slightly off to the side. His focus was clearer there, he didn’t have to try so hard to see things distinctly, and there seemed to be more depth. But I still don’t know how big things are, or how far that bush is from here. Frustrated, he gave up, and continued towards the lake. James was right about colors. I don’t see any reds, or greens; there’re only blues, yellows, dull browns, and greys.

Finally, he reached the lakeshore, and he peered at his reflection. Huge black eyes peered back, out of a dog’s face. Dratted nose! As he turned his head, and took in the first sight of his new body, he realized why dogs cocked their heads to the side when looking intently at someone, and snickered. All this time I thought they were showing interest, and here it’s just so they can see!

He buried his snout in the water, pulled it out, and shook the water from his face vigorously. Now to find James! We’ve only got two more days to get ready! Turning, he tested the air for scent, and loped off towards the Forest.


I will reveal to you a love potion, without medicine, without herbs, without any witch’s magic; if you want to be loved, then love. - Hecaton of Rhodes

[zymurgy]

EnCRYPTion


Secretive Employee
Floo Ferret


(telling this from Ginevra’s point of view. I think that’s what the guidelines meant when they said ‘you’re Ginny Weasley’ I hope nobody minds. If that’s a problem, private Floo me. Don’t send me an owl- it’d die of exertion before it ever got to me)

A Crate of Christmas Cheer

It was during Christmas Break, and I didn’t want our holiday with the family to be ruined. After all, Charley and Bill are hardly ever home, and I didn’t want anything to go wrong about their visit. Gred’n’Forge, however, had just brought an extremely large box into their room, and it had been tapping suspiciously.

I couldn’t let them ruin Christmas. I needed to find out what was in that box and neutralize it before they tried to enchant Charlie’s blanket into a lethifold or something equally stupid. I waited until they annoyed Mum enough to be sent out to put the Melting Charms on the snow in the front walk, and then I took my chance.

Not bothering to tiptoe, I scrambled to their room as fast as I could. Gred’n’Forge’s inventions generally made so much noise on a clear day that I could have yodeled and nobody would have noticed. Reaching the door, I quickly cast “Revelatio,” to show me what charms had been placed on it. Having a Curse Breaker for an older brother has benefits.

They’d placed several booby traps on the door, as well as strong locking charms. Nothing that Dad couldn’t have broken if he’d wanted to, and Bill would’ve gone through them like a hot knife through butter, but they were mainly intended to keep my and my brother out anyway. And to prevent Charlie from planting a Skrewt in their underwear drawer.

“Finite Incantatem,” took care of the more basic spells, but I need specific Counter-Spells for the others. All told, it took me a good fifteen minutes to get into the room. By this time, I knew the twins would be back any minute, so I had to work fast.

Rolling up my sleeves, I took stock of the situation. The box in question was under several crates and barrels. Before I could even think of figureing out what was inside, I had to get it out from under all of them.

The barrel of Veela Hair was easily moved aside, but the crate of Glumbumbles was a bit more tricky, as I had to place sleeping charms on them first to prevent form getting bitten. After all, I had no wish to be levitated for the rest of the season.

Once I’d gotten to the box, I cast “Intermurumvisum,” on it, to show what was inside. To my surprise, it contained nothing but Quiditch balls- except that the quaffle was maroon, and the snitch had glasses and a lightning bolt scar. The bludgers were decorated with identical evil grins, that I had no trouble recognizing.

I smiled realizing what it was: Ron’s Christmas present. Custom Quidditch balls were rather expensive, their shop must have been going far better than they’d been telling us. Or they had more starting capital than they’d been telling us.

I replaced the other crates, and left the room after a quick check to make sure there was nothing else about that could ruin the holiday.

Leaving, I shut the door behind me, and replaced all their security spells. Excepting that I added a Slime Flinging Hex for good measure. I couldn’t wait to see their faces. They’d be too busy blaming each other for adding an extra spell without saying anything to even think that I’d been there.

Smiling to myself, I returned to my own room. The twins obviously deserved something better than a box of sugar quills from me. I still had a week to plan. After all, anybody that gives my brother Ron a maroon Quaffle deserves nothing less than a medal the size of a soup plate.


It's not impossible... just very difficult and potentially deadly.

[StarWalker]

Friar's Cap

Pup
Floo Ferret


Disallusioned

yesyesyesyesyesyes! My cry of joy was in time with my heartbeat, and thundered in my ears. thudthudthudthudthudthud! lookjameslookjameslookjameslookjames! remusremusremusremusremus! siriussiriussiriussirius! I was so excited I failed to initially notice the trip hammer repetitions, syncopating with my cardiac rhythms.

The sudden shock as I transformed for the first time, the wonderful feeling of power, of knowing, not just believing, that I was as good as the others made my eyes tear, and blurred everything around me. I am an Animagus! A delicious thought, my redemption. No longer was I just Peter Pettigrew, one of the faceless masses; now I was of the select, of those who could take on another form at will. Of the hundreds of students here, I was one of three, three who had learned, on their own, the secrets of the Animagus.

remusmakesfourremusmakesfourremusmakesfour! I thrust the thought away, refusing to let it dampen my enthusiasm, or take away from what I had done. After all, Remus had no control over his change of form; he could not affect the time of his change, nor was he master of his actions once transformed icanicanicanicanicanican! James, with all his conceit, and his quidditch ability, and his money, was no longer any better than I. So too was Sirius reduced in my eyes, with his family history that stretched back centuries, no matter that he claimed he was estranged from them. I could tell he felt he was better than all of us were; how could he not, with his bloodlines. And Remus, Remus who presented such a tragic figure to us, was actually worse off than I was. My chest swelled with pride.

Reaching up to wipe my eyes, I felt my first pinch of fear. I sat back on my haunches – haunches! What am I that I have haunches? hauncheshauncheshaunches – as the realization hit me that I did not know what I was! Fear threatened to overwhelm me, my heart speeded up even more, threatening to go out of control. thudthudthudthudthud! Faster, ever faster, and louder, blood rushed through my veins, my ears, pounding, hammering at my hearing! thudthudthuidthudthud!

For the first time since I changed, I looked around me, to see the world through my new eyes. lielielielielielie! If possible, my heart beat faster, as I acknowledged the enormity of the web of deceit James and Sirius had woven throughout the tales of their exploits as animals. “Blurry vision, unknown smells, incredible hearing, difficulty in concentrating,” James had warned me, while Sirius regaled me with tales of a much less severe nature.

“James is right, you can’t see as well, but it’s fine if you squint to focus a little; and as for concentration, I didn’t have any problems. Well, I was easily distracted, but then I’m always easily amused. And the freedom, the ability to run wherever you want makes it all worthwhile.”

I tried to squint, it felt like I was squinting, but I couldn’t see any better. In fact, I could barely see at all, everything seemed fuzzy, and colorless. Both of them had told me they couldn’t see reds or greens; James had mentioned a brilliant blue, and faded yellows; Sirius had mentioned dull browns and yellows, but said he never saw a bright blue. I seemed to see even less color, a pale yellow barely noticeable and hazy, indistinct blobs of greys and whites, interspersed with patches of reassuring darkness.

Blackness means cover, I thought, as my mind once again sent out rapid commands to my nervous system. hidehidehidehide… I opened my mouth and cursed my friends, but what I heard made me snap my mouth closed. Squeaks, chirps, and a squeal, so high pitched I wasn’t certain I even heard it, brought forth an answering volley of similar sounds. My body reacted without thought. dangerdangerdangerdanger I leaped for the most visible cover I could make out. Well, actually, I couldn’t see it; my body just kind of sensed its presence. My whiskers …

whiskerswhiskerswhiskers… Sweeping the area around my body, sensitive tips swamping my mind with a flood of images for which I had no reference. I quickly discovered that I could control the movement and whisk the area with any combination of whisker sets, but, although my new body accepted the data, and seemed content with it, my human side had no frame of reference, and so I froze, just standing there, silent, motionless. Only the incessant movement of my whiskers indicated I was still alive.

ratratratratratrat! Mortification overcame me, as I realized I had seen the actions I was performing. The rat familiars of some of my acquaintances, when they were startled, or placed in an unfamiliar situation, acted just as I was doing now! James became a stag, large and proud, Sirius a huge shaggy dog. Each separately was almost a match for Remus; together they needed no help, and they would get none from me. My Animagus form was a rat, a mere mouthful for Sirius or Remus, something for James to run over or ignore.

I could feel tears of shame welling up and starting to spill as I began the reverse transformation. Now I had to decide whether to tell them the truth, or tell them I failed again. It just wasn’t fair!


I will reveal to you a love potion, without medicine, without herbs, without any witch’s magic; if you want to be loved, then love. - Hecaton of Rhodes

[Amunet]

LoonyRavenclaw

Nargle Believer
Floo Ferret



Mistletoe Discovery

“Harry … Harry! Can I take your picture for the paper?”

“Colin, no. Go find a better picture. One that’s never been seen and more importantly, one that doesn’t include me, ” Harry replied to the annoying fifth year.

Colin Creevey walked away sadly toward the Great Hall. Inside, he saw the usual lunch crowd. Slowly walking towards the Gryffindor table Colin caught site of a vibrant pink hat over at the Ravenclaw section.

“Well, that’s quite unusual,” he mumbled to himself.

As stealthily as he could, Colin snuck over to the Ravenclaw table, across from the girl with the bright pink hat, and … popped up!

“CLICK”

“Hello Colin,” came a calm reply.

“Hello Luna, that is an amazing hat! I hope you don’t mind me taking a picture of it, it’s going on the front page.”

Luna looked at Colin puzzled, “Why would you want a picture of my hat, it's not interesting enough to put on the cover of a paper. Though my grandmother did give me this hat when we were looking for Nargles.”

“Looking for what?”

“A Nargle is a creature that infests mistletoe and everyone says that they don’t exist, but they do! If you read The Quibbler you’d know. It’s a very nice paper.”

Colin pondered upon this for a while and slowly began to nod his head, “That does seem a bit more interesting than your hat. Can you help me find some?”

“Sure.”

Luna followed Colin out of the Great Hall, still reading the Quibbler. When Colin stopped, she bumped right into him.

“Lets go down that hall and get some mistletoe!” Colin exclaimed, a bit excited that someone didn't mind following him.
Colin walked along the corridor until he found a piece of mistletoe on a large decoration. He turned to show Luna, but she was no longer behind him. Colin scanned the hall and further down another corridor to his left he saw Luna talking to a portrait.
He rushed over, excited to tell her that he got the mistletoe, “Hey Luna, look, I got it!”

“That’s nice Colin, go take the pictures now. I’m going to stay here and talk to Rolanda Yepti. She has wonderful theories on Blibbering Humdingers.”

Colin looked at the portrait Luna was referring to. The witch known as Rolanda looked fairly thin and had long brown hair. She was wearing a green dress that was clearly only worn when witches were burnt at the stake for supposed witchcraft.

“But …” he looked down at his feet figuring Blibbering Humdingers would win Luna’s interests more than Nargles. He then remembered he still had the mistletoe in his hand and became excited about Nargles all over again.

Up to the Gryffindor Common Room he ran, pausing only to say the password. He flung himself onto his bed and began to inspect the mistletoe. There were no insects or Nargles to be seen. Taking out his camera, Colin looked through the eyepiece and was about to press the shutter when he saw small red and green worm-like creatures crawling across the stems.

“Fascinating.”

Quickly he took a few pictures then ran as fast as he could to the photo developing room, completely forgetting to tell Luna all about the great discovery of Nargles.

The next morning the school paper came out. Everyone was avidly reading it, everyone except Luna. She was reading The Quibbler when someone dumped pumpkin juice in her lap. She sighed, put down her newspaper and grabbed the closest thing that would soak up the liquid that hadn't already soaked into her polka dot skirt and striped stockings.

Looking down at her lap as she wiped up the spill, she noticed that she was drying herself with the school newspaper. Smiling faintly she read the headline: ‘NARGLES EXIST! Luna Lovegood is not LOONY!’ Written by: Colin Creevey.



Order Unique jewelry at my Scroll: http://www.freewebs.com/narglesjewelry/

[StarWalker]

Friar's Cap

Nuzzler
Floo Ferret


Salvation

I screamed a long painful wail that started far back in my throat, and seemed to tear away my flesh, which stretched, flowed, and conformed to the changing bone structure of my face. As my jaw and cheekbones elongated, they ached, a bone numbing pain that augmented and intensified the agony of my teeth, as they loosened in their sockets, altered in size, shape, and position, and reattached themselves to the pointed muzzle I now possessed. Years of full moons, and the accompanying transitions had taught me to throw back my head during the final moments. Doing so reduced the stress on my neck vertebrae, as I changed from an erect, bipedal human to the quadrupedal form of the werewolf.

I am Remus Lupin, a name fraught with irony, and a source of much black amusement to me and to my few friends. Did my parents unknowingly, unluckily name me that which I was to become, or did the act of their naming me seal my destiny, and ensure that I would become one of the accursed? Questions such as this often occupied my time, particularly that time trapped in my alter form, for the true horror of the person who is a werewolf, is not that he becomes a monstrous creature of the full moon, savage and frightening to mortal man or wizard, but is rather that his human mind is divorced from the mindless beast he becomes, and cannot control. Firenze and I have spoken many times of these conundrums, though the inscrutable, destiny driven fatality of his entire race marks his opinion.

“Remus,” he would say, in his ponderous fashion, “not even the Centaurs, who have spent millennia studying the heavens for portents of the future, and knowledge of the foreordained, know to what extent a name influences the person who bears it. Nor do we ken the effect that our future has on our past, or controls our past actions. What we do know, is that all things are related, and bound, each with the other; so much has eternal Chiron told us.”

Ah, Firenze, my friend; where are you now? Even you were unwilling to walk the paths of the night with me in werewolf form. That has been left to James and Sirius; they have promised to come, and keep me company!

I could feel the stirring of my wolf’s blood at the thought of my friends, they who, with Peter, have stood by me these last thirteen school terms. I mentally retched at the picture I sensed in the mind of the werewolf, the twisted, blood enraged hatred of all that was human, torn between the desire to rend, rip, and feed; and the maddening desire to bite, and scar another for life, cursing him with the life I had led for so many years.

My normal routine, since I had started at Hogwarts, was to try to divorce my human mind from the werewolf body; to let it scheme and fester in revulsion and madness, unable to escape this house set up by Dumbledore for my periods of inhumanity; its howls, and almost human screams creating a living legend in Hogsmeade. Eventually, I knew, it would begin to tear at itself in frustration, and over the three days, it would become weaker as it spilled its own blood, and the maddening cesspool of its mind would slowly recede, leaving my human side once again recovering from the horror and depravity that marked each lunar cycle. This time, I knew I must remain engaged.

“We’ll be there tonight,” James had told me. “At least Sirius and I will be. Peter – well Peter’s a little concerned.” I could understand why, and had felt a flash of guilt when we had talked earlier today.

Am I deluding them and myself? Am I right? Will my werewolf side ignore them in Animagus form? My doubts returned, and I pushed them away. I did warn them! If I make an aggressive move, Sirius will block while the others leave. Quickly! I can maintain control long enough for that! Never mind that I had never been able to exert any influence over the other side of my personality. But tonight Peter would not be there; he would not be able to escape fast enough, if I was wrong, and the werewolf saw the human behind the stag, and hound, and rat.

I tensed; my body became still, concentrating on the incredible sense of hearing and smell I possessed, as I heard the shudder of the trapdoor below. We both heard it, my unwanted friend and I, but only I knew what it was; only I knew what it portended. I huddled back in my tiny safe haven in the mind of the beast, figuratively shivering in nervous anticipation. What will his reaction be?

We waited, he and I, with curiosity, and anxiety, each to his own. Had I thought of what we felt, I would have cried in ecstasy; instead, I listened to the two, no three, sets of approaching footsteps, the rapid scrabble of tiny claws scratching along the wooden floor, the measured clip-clop of hard hooves, and the soft pad-click of nailed paws. Even Peter! Emotion choked my thoughts, as the door slowly opened, and I saw my friends.

We sat and stared at each other – for now, it was enough.


I will reveal to you a love potion, without medicine, without herbs, without any witch’s magic; if you want to be loved, then love. - Hecaton of Rhodes

[Merman]

Ekeltricity

Ministry Worker
Floor Ferret


Naughty, Naughty


Arthur had just managed to break into the bedroom of his twin sons,
when he heard soft footsteps coming up the stairs. Quickly, he hid in
the closet, nearly knocking over a few boxes and weird machines.
The door creaked open and Ginny crept into the room. Arthur was relieved
that he had taken all the jinxes off the door before his daughter
had come. He knew that as powerful as she was she was no match for her
brothers. He soon found out that she was up to the same thing he was,
when she had started looking through the boxes.
She pried the top of the nearest crate and rummaged through it,
pulling out a teddy bear, a bowl somewhat similar to a Pensieve but
empty, and what looked like a ten year old peace of fruitcake. Setting
these items aside, she reached into the box again, only to recoil when
she was bitten.
Realizing that the last item in the crate was very much alive she
slammed the lid back down. She turned back to what she had already
retrieved. The bowl was empty, and the fruitcake wasn't very inviting,
so she picked up the teddy bear and gave it a hug.
This was the wrong thing to do because the bear squirted some purple liquid
into her hair. With a shriek, she dropped the bear and ran to the mirror.
She gave another shriek when she realized that her hair was now bright
purple and spiked. Horrified, she began to search for anything to
reverse the change. Nothing in the room seemed likely to remove nasty
changes, rather to cause more. In desperation she turned to the closet
and she made her way towards it.
Just then she heard footsteps coming up the stares. Quickly Ginny
opened the door and dashed upstairs to her room.
Fred and George seeing the door of their room open, dashed in to examine the
damage. They hastily put them everything back into the box and left
the room muttering something about "going to look for Ron".
After waiting for the twins to finish put on more hexes and listening
to them go down the stairs, Arthur slipped out of the closet to
get a look at the room for himself. First he went over to the box the
contained the teddy bear. Pulling it, Arthur studied it, finding a
label attached on the back reading.
"Washes Off"
As his wife had asked him, Arthur quickly banished all potentially
explosive material in the room, neutralized all the devious pranking
equipment, and made sure that all animals were properly fed and
cleaned up after. Not as his wife had asked him to, he took careful
notes on how each prank he destroyed had been put together.
His dread work done, he went to comfort Ginny. As he left, he added a
Slime Hurling Hex to the twins' other formidable hexes, knowing that
each would blame the other for not mentioning the new addition.
He knocked on his daughters door to here a muffled, "go away."
He pushed the door open anyway, to see her hiding her face in the pillow.
"Oh, Ginny," he said quietly, "you shouldn't use your Mother's
shampoo, you know. It has a tendency to create absolutely horrid
hairstyles. I suggest you wash it off."
"Abbawassat?" answered Ginny, looking up.
"Yes, yes," said Arthur, carefully keeping his face straight, "I know
you didn't mean to, these things happen, reaching for the wrong
bottle, you know. Had a simply dreadful day at the office, yesterday.
All those Carlfinch hexes going off- turn folks bald, you know. They
tend to work best on identical red headed twins, particularly at
breakfast."
"Which?"
"Carlfinch," repeated Arthur tapping his nose twice. "But you didn't
hear it from me. Now I must get down to help your mother with those
Snarfles that have infested the closet. She'll have my head it's not
done before breakfast."
With a wink, Arthur left her room, and went back to the kitchen to get
another cup of tea. It had been a good day.


I nearly killed myself with a toaster, and all I got was this lousy siggy.

[cherabela]

Got_Your_Konk!



Riddler
Colourful Floo Ferret


Weird or Feared?


I arrived in front of the twins’, who act like bins, room, and checked that nobody was there, because I am very sneaky and cheeky, like the freaky Mrs Norris. I threw a stinking pellet, since I am no helot, but it rebounded on me, and I was like a stinking ferret. They had put a spell to make my life hell, on the door. Stinking like the poo in the loo, I took out my wand like an ugly-looking Gond, and removed the hinges from the door. Dare they say I’m the youngest anymore?

I entered the room like a beaver, as if I had buck fever, and so I snooped and looped around the room. The lamp, which seemed rather damp, was lying on the floor, although it had never been there before. Pig, the owl in a wig, was hooting in the air, as if he were at a fair, although he should have been in Ron’s room, which resembles a tomb.

On the desk there was a box, which seemed to have got chicken pox, a hat, which sang, “Rat-tat-tat”, and a mere sphere.

I decided to try the hat; at least it would not attack like a pocket rat. I went in front of the mirror, to see how I looked. The mirror cried, “Aaargggh!!! Hide, ride, moon and pride!! Run away without delay!! You are ugly and look so smugly!” I looked in the mirror, and found I had no head. So why was I not dead? Ah! It belonged to Fred, or was it Gred instead? I removed the headless hat, which started to laugh and jest at me. I threw it out of the window, and said, “Tit for tat, you smelly sand rat!”

I took the sphere, which smelled a bit of beer, and opened it without any fear. Why should it be so queer? Then I find that I was blind, and soon was squashed like an orange rind. Yucky goo came out all blue, sticking like brand-new glue. It covered me before Peeves can say, “Wee!” and I couldn’t move, although I did not approve. I fell to the floor, in the time you count till number four. The goo would not just shoo, but it continued to brew and so it grew.

I was stuck, like an ugly looking duck. This was certainly no bad luck! The twins had thought of it, you must admit! I tried to sit, but although I was fit, all I could do was spit. And they came and laughed; poor them they are so daft. They left me there, to lie and stare! Couldn’t they at least have given me a chair? But I will not despair, because this is certainly unfair! I will get loose, but there will be no truce. I’ll get revenge, and so avenge the fix in which I got, which for them will never rot.



Name's Poltergeist. Don't-bug-me Poltergeist

[zymurgy]

WalksInDarkness

Dark Ferret


A Snake in the Heart of Gryffindor

Harry Potter sat in an empty classroom, surrounded by various books he had stolen from the Restricted Section of the library. If Dumbledore, or indeed, any of the boy’s mentors could have seen them, they would all have disapproved of his current intention: to become an Animagus.

First of all, he hadn’t had any formal training, and only knew what he did from the books he was reading. Added to that was his lack of supervision; should anything go wrong, it would be hours, perhaps even a day before he could be found and brought to the Hospital Wing or even St. Mungo’s. Most important, he had not told anybody of his endeavor, so should he become stuck in his Animagus form, nobody would know it was he.

Taking a last look at his notes, he prepared himself for the Change. Clearing his mind, he began to breath deeply. Relaxing completely, the boy allowed himself to drift into apathy. Once he was completely in a zone of nothingness, he whispered the charm to himself: Verto.

Nothing happened at first. He allowed the Incantation to become his sole thought. Verto. Still breathing, still deeply relaxed, his mind blank except for the recurring thought of the Incantation: Verto.

With every breath, in and out, the Incantation reverberated in his mind. Slowly, he became enveloped in the Charm. The Essence of the Charm slowly emanated from his Center of Magic, becoming visible as a shimmering pulse of ever-changing silver and gold, slowly weaving about his body.

With practice, he would be able to make the change instantaneously, without a visible Pulse, but for his first attempt, it was actually quite advanced. The Power imbued in the boy as a child from the Dark Lord was still present, and it was this that gave him the abilities he is so well known for.

“Verto,” he whispered again, and the Pulse of Magic surrounding him became brighter, and began to flex in syncopation with his heartbeat.

”Verto!”

Finally, it happened: Harry Potter’s body melted away, and with a flash of light his form was revealed. A copper colored snake fell twisting to the floor.

The snake slithered about on the floor, as Potter’s mind tried to cope with the change. Dark thoughts, devious thoughts, subtle dangerous thoughts invaded his mind, and he began to embrace the side of himself he had thus far not dared even acknowledge.

“Slytherin,” hissed the snake, as Potter finally understanding the fundamental truth about himself. It was not pure, nor was it light, nor was it benign. The darkness had been in Potter’s mind and in his being for so long, lying dormant, waiting for it to be called to the surface.

Plans, good plans began forming in Potter’s new reptilian skull. Yes, yes. The Wizarding world would regret their mockery of his greatness, they would. He would destroy all those who had tried to control and to use him, founding a new Epoch with himself at the head.

Potter’s brain was flooded with a sense of power, and a deep desire for the power that he did not have. Flooded with images of himself at the height of power, he reeled towards the door, intent on destroying those who had kept him in check for so long.

“Dumbledore,” he hissed, in the subtly beautiful hiss that was Parseltongue. “Him first.”

Potter slithered out of the room, and began to make his way towards the Headmaster’s office. But his plans were not to be realized.

Professor Snape was patrolling the halls when he saw the serpent advancing. A quick Revelatio spell ensured that he knew what had happened, and that he had to stop it. Potter was now at his most powerful and most vulnerable state; those who sit the highest topple easiest.

Stepping towards the snake, he stamped on its head, killing it instantaneously.

Victorious, Snape drew his wand, and incanted, “Verto.”

The light enveloped the snake, and it transformed into Potter, as he had been at the last transformation- except for the fact that he was irretrievably dead. Dead without a mark on his body.

Professor Snape smiled languidly and re-sheathed his wand. Quickly hiding his smile, he went to raise the alarm. After all, it was imperative that Dumbledore not suspect him, not his loyalty to his true Master, Lord Voldemort.



Signature: Pure Goals. Pure Hearts. Pure War.

[zymurgy]

Apothecary's~Bane




Hogwart's Greatest, a Still Life in Sepia

Collin Creevey ran hot foot down the halls, intent on his task. He needed a photograph of epic proportions for that Merlin-awful rag known as the Hogwarts newspaper, and he would stop at nothing to get it. Barreling down the halls as fast as he could go, breaking about twenty four School Rules in the process, he finally reached his destination: the History of Magic classroom.

Class was in session, but then again we all know that even the return of the Dark Lord would not make Bins depart from his abominably boring scripted lectures. The ghost didn’t even bat a transparent eyelash when the insufferable Gryffindor burst into the room.

There she was, the object of his mad dash: Hermione Jane Granger.

Now, normally, Miss. Granger would not be a fit subject for any photograph, lest she was in a pitch black cellar during a lunar eclipse and the photographer forgot to take off the lens cover.

However, on this particular day, Mr. Creevey had been sent to photograph “Hogwart’s Greatest at Leisure.” Whether his editor Ms. Brown meant he should photograph those greatest adapted to the art of leisure, or those who were the greatest at a rare moment of leisure is not clear, however Creevey chose to interpret the cryptic assignment as the latter.

Miss. Granger was asleep. In fact, the entire class was asleep, which shows that Flitwick is neglecting to teach them Wakefulness charms, as usual, in spite of the fact that this is first year material, and any gibbon could teach it.

Quickly, Mr. Creevey took not only a photograph of Ms. Granger herself, but also one of Mr. Potter, and of course, Mr. Weasley.

Smiling to himself, Creevey left the room, and dashed down to the unofficial Dark Room he had set up in an old unused classroom in the South Tower. Why Dumbledore doesn’t expand into that tower, of course, is a complete mystery. It would decrease much of the unnecessary after-hour traffic at the Astronomy Tower at any rate.

Working with a quick precision that has always been lacking in his schoolwork of any kind, Creevey began to develop his photographs. This was made easier by the fact that all his subjects were fast asleep, and therefore not capable of putting up a fuss. Also, there was no chance of that unfortunate effect of red eyes which so mimics Demonic Possesion. Not that he’d know what a demon was anyway, being Muggle-Born, and showing no interest in that sort of thing.

As soon as the photographs had been developed, he dashed to the unofficial Editorial Office. “Got them,” he gasped, dropping the photographs on Ms. Brown’s desk.

“Thanks,” she said, quickly casting a charm to splice them into the article she was writing. “You’ve saved the Hogwarts News once again!”

Unfortunately, Ms. Brown does not display the aptitude she does in charms in any of her other subjects, excepting perhaps Divination, which is simply gazing into fog.

Also most unfortunate was the fact that both students had been shamefully skipping their Care of Magical Creatures Class in order to get the article finished and printed in time. They were given a weeks detention each, and were set to reordering the shamefully chaotic card catalogue system of Madam Pince.



Even a broken watch manages to be right twice a day. Why can't you do the same and spare us all the trouble?

[zymurgy]

Tattered Robe



Registered XXXXX
Floo Ferret


Breakfast Interrupted

The morning mail arrived as usual Monday morning. Not as usual, McGonagall gave a horrified shriek upon opening her post and ran off. The usual Comfort Squad, including Madam Hooch, Madam Pince, Professor Vector and Professor Sinistra, left to supply the distraught Professor with tissues, which they routinely enforce on the distressed. (in spite of the fact that those they ‘assist’ would usually like nothing better than to be left alone.)

Dumbledore, being the one seated closet to Professor McGonnagal immediately riffled through the good woman’s post. To be sure, he meant well, but the man does have a slight problem understanding the concept of privacy. Perhaps because he gets so little himself, poor soul.

“Sweet Merlin,” exclaimed the Headmaster. “It’s the Quibbler!”

“Fancy that,” said Snape dryly. “She’s only been reading it every day at breakfast for the last twenty years.”

“No, read it, my boy,” insisted the Headmaster. “It’s quite understandable that the dear girl was so upset.”

Snape sighed inwardly at the Headmasters quite sugary appellations, and took the proffered paper. According to his habit, he read the story aloud:


Registration of Animagi Officers Report Hundred Illegals

According to sources that wished to remain anonymous, there are litterally hundreds of illegal Animagi running amok in the British countryside! These renegade Witches and Wizards are causing serious legal problems throughout the Ministry.

As they are not registered, Muggle/Wizard relations are severely compromised, since they may mix among the Muggle population at will, causing severe unrest, particularly when they ignore the laws of Anti-Muggle Security and display behavior contrary to their Animgus Form’s natural wont.

Another problem is the rampant abuse of the Animagus Form by these Enemies of Society! They run about in disguise, listening in on conversations, eavesdropping, spying! This Editor is absolutely POSITIVE that You-Know –Who keeps several Animagus spies in his employ! (For the shocking truth about what You-Know-Who was REALY up to in the Albanian forests, see Page 7)

For this reason, the Editorial Staff suggests that all, yes ALL upstanding, honest Witches and Wizards, loyal to the light, brush up on the Revelatio spell, so that we may stamp out these horrendous monsters! They are as bad as Vampires, Werewolves and Banshees! They MUST be stamped out! (for a complete list of Animagus attacks, both fatal and more so, see page 9)


“I’m afraid I don’t see the problem, Headmaster,” said Snape, returning his attention to his toast. “Nobody takes the Quibbler seriously. Besides, Minerva is registered. There’s simply nothing for her to worry about.”

Dumbledore blinked, and decided it was tactful not to mention that Minerva was mentoring several illegal Animagi in her Gryffindor Transfiguration class, including Hermione Granger and Neville Longbottom.

“Yes, yes,” said Dumbledore smiling serenely. “Absolutely nothing to worry about, as you said. I’m sure the others will calm her down eventually.”

Snape sighed, and wondered why Dumbledore didn’t seem to know that Minerva was mentoring several illegal Animagi. He would have to have a word with her about keeping secrets from the headmaster.


Judge not, lest ye be judged.

[zymurgy]

Buzzin'Beetle

Surveillance Expert
Floo Ferret




A DAY IN THE LIFE OF HARRY POTTER

Harry Potter, the handsomest Hero currently, Heartthrob of thousands of teenage Witches has recently registered for his newest Ability! Adding to his incredible list of abilities, including Quiditch, Parseltongue, Dark Arts, and of course, not Dieing, the Green-Eyed Wunderkind is now also an ANIMAGUS!

This reporter will take you on a day in the life of the Fantabulous Mr. Potter, as he discovers his brand new talent!

It was a cold winter’s day as we started, and this reporter was brought into Hogwarts by none other than the Six Time Winner of Witch Weekly’s Most Intimidating Glower Award: Severus Otto Snape.

When asked what HE thought of the Messy-Haired Wizard’s newest accomplishment, Professor Snape merely said ‘no comment,’ which really DOES point out what everybody has been saying lately, namely, that Professor Snape is REALLY Harry Potters fourth cousin, though he’s tragically not permitted to show it, due to his precarious position.

Meeting the Boy-Who-Lived-and-Kept-On-Living in the Great Hall, I asked the following questions:

Rita Skeeter: How do you feel, knowing that you’re the first Animagus registered at your age for centuries?

Harry Potter: It’s not that big of a thing for me, really. I know other people have managed far better and far more important things at my age. It’s not important.

Rita Skeeter: How do you feel, when you transform?

Harry Potter: Like a cardigan turned inside out, actually.

Rita Skeeter: How about your animal form. Surprised? Concerned? Elated? Tell us how you feel.

Harry Potter: What I expected, really. A Stag, just like my da- I mean just like my Patronus.

Rita Skeeter: Ah, yes, Harry, love. Your Patronus- which is absolutely FANTASTIC magic at your age. Most Witches and Wizards can’t produce a Corporal one even after years of study. Tell us about this. How you struggled with this ability to prove your nay-sayers wrong!

Harry Potter: It wasn’t a matter of trying to prove anything. It was a matter of necessity. Either I learned to bash the Dementors, or they’d suck out my soul.

Rita Skeeter: Yes, simply HORRIFIC oversight on Headmaster Dumbledore’s part to allow those wretched things anywhere NEAR out Boy-Wonder!

Harry Potter: It wasn’t HIS fault, it was-

Out interview concluded, we went on to his Transfiguration Classroom, where his teacher Professor McMonnamonnagallga was waiting for us.

After a quick private word between the two, Harry Potter was ready to perform for the assorted Ministry Officials present.

The Bespectacled-Teen did himself proud, turning into an absobloominglutely magnificent Stag! The Ministry Officials were wowed, to put it quite plainly.

To conclude the day, the Boy Hero had to sign several documents, and received his license.

Now, this Reporter feels it necessary to point out that if Harry Potter isn’t shielded from learning such potentially dangerous and horrific Magic as the Animagus Transformation and the Patronus Charm, what are less regarded students being taught?

Albus Dumbledore must know that he cannot go on transforming our children into Monsters to Fight against the Ministry we worked SO hard to set up and protect. Albus Dumbledore has continuously shown no regard to ministry law, procedure or even the school bored. It is this reporter’s opinion that Ablus Dumbledore by removed from power immediately. This cannot go on!




Quick Quotes Quills Forever!

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Clabbert Saves Village From Dementor Attack

ronsmyman commented:
You captured Hermione's voice very well, but there were some points where I was completely lost stylistically.

evlpez commented:
Really good, though a little too good for Ron, I think.

cherabela commented:
Good characterization though, personally I don't think Harry would be so keen on reading the article. I think the only reading thing he really finds interesting is his book on Quidditch.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
I liked this, a fun read, nice original idea.

agrippa commented:
Good job... sounds a lot like Ron!

StarWalker commented:
This is a nice piece. Punctuation was off,and grammar was a problem at times, even for a certain 16 year old wizard!

[agrippa]

Comments on the story A mission of mercy

ronsmyman commented:
I liked the screaming box, that was a nice touch

evlpez commented:
Yay, Neville! I'm not sure his spelling would be this good, but I like how he wrote that Ginny would cherish a picture of them together.

cherabela commented:
Very good characterization, and the fact that the twins had taken that photo really makes a nice turn in the end.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
Very in character the whole way through. Fun details and insights.

timeturner commented:
That was so sweet! I just love Neville. Extra creativity point just for: <br />pools of chocolate lusciousness- good one!!

StarWalker commented:
Wonderful story! Minor tech errors; minor canon problem

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Creevey's Chase

ronsmyman commented:
Great job as writing as the character, you made Creevey just as annoying as Harry would have found him.

evlpez commented:
Great story, though I'm a little surprised Harry would make himself a hero in a story, even if it is Harry Potter fan fiction.

cherabela commented:
There were some points where the characterization didn't sound quite right.

timeturner commented:
I liked the confrontation between the trio and Slytherin. Good job with Ron.

agrippa commented:
Well done!

StarWalker commented:
Nice job! Minor technical errors and canon problems. A certain amount of character deviation.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
Fun storyline. Some minor grammatical/typo probs. The voice was off early-on. Still, good job!

[agrippa]

Comments on the story FACT OR FICTION

ronsmyman commented:
Good in every way. I enjoyed the twist of it being a confidence booster. It also showed a bumbling Neville without making him seem stupid, which is what Hermione would do.

evlpez commented:
Very appropriate for Hermione! Well done!

McGonagall's Cat commented:
Quite well done! In character, nice details (loved the "Story continued on page 2..."

agrippa commented:
Very Hermione!

StarWalker commented:
Superb! Verb tenses caught you early on, but well done!

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Hogwarts Heartens!

ronsmyman commented:
Great characterization. I liked the Gloria/Gertrude bit.

cherabela commented:
Watch out Hogwarts, here he comes! It's really funny and well written! And one can of course understand right away who the character who wrote it is.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
You're the actual, genuine, real Lockhart, right? <br /> <br />This is funny and clever and just perfect! Love the footnote.

timeturner commented:
Nice touches in here. Very funny. McGonagall's last line and the author's note were great!

agrippa commented:
Cute!

StarWalker commented:
Bravo! What can I say except: ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT WORK!!. Now we know why Gilderoy is back on staff in J2H, it merely took 21 years for his 'cure' to settle in.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story The Unexpected Photo

ronsmyman commented:
I loved the student portrayal of Snape, good job WestHamFan

evlpez commented:
This is really good! I can almost see the cartoon Dean might draw of this story.

cherabela commented:
It was very creative, but it lacked most of the thins the mission stated; it focused more on Snape than Colin. Snape's character sounds rather odd.

StarWalker commented:
"Gonna wash..." So very, very wonderful! But why did he get a chocolate frog card? And what was the serious discussion about? Hmmm. Great job!

McGonagall's Cat commented:
I loved the creativity and twist of the storyline, though I think Prof. Snape rather enjoys his greasy-ness... Nice and concise!

agrippa commented:
Cute story. It's hard to write as Dean, I would think.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Harry Potter Blows his Nose

ronsmyman commented:
Great characterization, I could feel Malfoy's bitterness.

agrippa commented:
Hee hee! This is very well done. Isn't it fun to write the baddies?

cherabela commented:
Very true to character; just like Malfoy would react.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
This is wonderful! I sit here in "open-mouthed in mindless adoration"! This is funny, interesting, in character.... Love it!

pinkpanther commented:
Great characterization of Draco. I especially liked your title.

timeturner commented:
That was the perfect story for Draco. Absolutely hilarious. I loved the take on the entire trio. I can't wait to find out who wrote this. GREAT JOB!

StarWalker commented:
Minor deviations from canon and characterization, and very slight technical errors. Otherwise an excellent Draco Malfoy entry. Well done.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Feline Frenzy

ronsmyman commented:
Very Creative, though not quite true to McGonagal, I'm not sure she would be that trivial, though it was funny to imagine McGonagal and Norris swatting each other in the corridors.

evlpez commented:
This is a bit shorter than the mission asks for, but I love watching McGonagall in action! "Her hair was a mess and a her glasses askew, but victory was still hers. That cat would limp for a week."

cherabela commented:
Although it is very original, I don't think Mrs. Norris who is always so careful when someone does something bad, would do anything of the kind herself.

StarWalker commented:
Nice cat fight, though light on mission requirements, with minor canon and tech errors.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
It is nearly impossible to decide between all the subs in this contest! This is a fun idea and well done. I loved: "...a pitch only Madam Pince had been known to reach." clever and original.

agrippa commented:
I like the writing, but I just can't see McGonagall doing that.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story The Only Wise Weasley

evlpez commented:
Daddy Malfoy is so bad! This is a great story, complete with rich-pure-blood superiority and a bit of the philanthropic-Lucius at the end. What a kind man to help tutor Ginny in Azkaban. LOL

pinkpanther commented:
I enjoyed how you put all of Lucius's hatred towards the Weasley's and all of their mean comments about them in your piece, especially the bit about all living in one room.

StarWalker commented:
I think Lucius has a few more screws loose than I thought! Problems in three areas: technical, characterization, and canon, but a big BZ in creativity.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
This is wonderful! So snarky and in character.

cherabela commented:
That is some twist at the end! Highly unlikely, but very creative nevertheless!

agrippa commented:
Nicely done. The end is a little over-dramatic, though, don't you think? (Please don't curse me!)

[agrippa]

Comments on the story BIG NOT MEEN GIANT

evlpez commented:
This is so great on a few levels. Though we know Grawp couldn't read or write at the end of OotP, he certainly might learn, with enough attention from Hagrid and the kids. He's really such a big kid and this is such a sweet attempt that I can forgive him for not having Ron and Harry beat Malfoy to a pulp, as I'd have expected from Grawp.

agrippa commented:
This one had me laughing my head off. I had to read it out loud to figure some of it out.

cherabela commented:
It was great! I really loved it! Your characterization of Grawp was amazing!

McGonagall's Cat commented:
I loved this one!!! Totally in character, wonderful, creative... funny!

timeturner commented:
Very cute and creative. Loved the note from Hagrid at the end

StarWalker commented:
Rok rules! What a gas! That said, accents don't appear in written work, unless in quotes, and I believe I detected a slight deviation from canon.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Scar-Head 0, Crabbe 1000000000

Azkabella commented:
LOL, "Oh you're so strong". Great!

evlpez commented:
This is really funny! I'd expect more errors, but considering SlytherinRulz's comment in chat about having stolen a charmed quill from one of his victims, I can forgive him for better writing. Great job!

cherabela commented:
Loved how you portrayed Draco. But didn't the mission state one had to write two paragraphs of the article?

timeturner commented:
"Isn’t Dumbledore super-duper?" -That was a great line! <br />I liked everything overall, but I think poor Crabbe is too thick to spell and write that well. Also liked the whole "Scar-head" idea. <br />

StarWalker commented:
I didn't know Crabbe could write this well! Well done. Light on mission nd characterization.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
Poor Crabbe. I want to reward him for writing at all, but am concerned that someone helped him because the spelling and grammar was better than I expect of him. And I'm a little concerned as to his motivation for hanging around with Draco if he thinks "the handsome Draco Malfoy, splendidly dressed"... eeep! What really goes on in those Slytherin rooms?

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!

evlpez commented:
Great writing; I'd expect no less from Cho, though I'd like to have seen more reference to Ravenclaws, boys or Quidditch.

Azkabella commented:
Great! Love the last lines.

cherabela commented:
lol, I loved the outcome of the photograph! Good characterization throughout! Ah! I still can't get over the rubber duck!

StarWalker commented:
Dear me! Snape with a rubber duck! How perfectly droll. Colin seemed very quiet, and I'm very certain Snape would know who, at Hogwarts, would flash a bulb in his face.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
Creative, fun. A few small technical errors. Loved: "“This reminds me of the first year trip,”"... though my eyes hurt at the thought of Snape in polka dot trunks with a ducky...eeep!!!! That could kill the squid!

[agrippa]

Comments on the story The Daughter I Never Had

evlpez commented:
Awesome, Mrs. Figg! I loved Ginny's note and the way she described the nosy little Ginny as "darling girl", and "beautiful child". Priceless! Extra creative point from me for making the event take place when Ginny was just a wee "sweet girl" with a toy wand, as opposed to "now".

cherabela commented:
Like how you represented Mrs. Figg. It was very true to character.

StarWalker commented:
An absolutely delightful foray into Ginny's earlier years! But what <I>were</I> those two items she took? Please - I want to know! Very, very well done.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story THE HAPPIEST DAY OF EVERYONE'S LIVES

evlpez commented:
This is really funny and well done! I'm not sure Myrtle would allow herself to be so optimistic, though.

cherabela commented:
I love this one! It's full of humour and Myrtle coming back from the dead. I wouldn't want to imagine that, as funny as it seems in this story. Great job!

timeturner commented:
Manly Hands! LOL <br />So Myrtle. Just a bit off mission, but not too much. Few spelling errors but they may have been intentional. Nice job!

StarWalker commented:
So, Myrtle does have an agenda! Wonderful story, but light on mission.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
This is GREAT! Poor Myrtle with such grandiose dreams. Loved it! "You’re being dead and see-through was the only thing that kept me from asking you to the Yule Ball two years ago. You’re the only girl for me." <br /> "Life after the afterlife was going to be grand." <br />

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Watch out for that beetle!

timeturner commented:
Great choice, writing about Rita the beetle. Creative episode in Fudge's office and I loved the bit with Arthur. There did seem to be some misplaced punctuation which stopped the sentences from flowing as nicely as they could have though. But overall, it was an original and enjoyable read.

StarWalker commented:
While a wonderful beetles eye view of the ministry, there were some real technical problems here, as well as minor canonical and characterization flaws.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
Hmmm.... I missed Dumbledore's wit and whacky weirdness... and there were some technical errors. Rita certainly went many places in the story though.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Mum Knows Best

cherabela commented:
Great characterization! Very descriptive!!

StarWalker commented:
I love Mrs. Weasley, always have. She certainly has a blind spot with respect to Ginny, though. Beautifully written, and no spells! However, I don't think her escapade was a secret!

McGonagall's Cat commented:
First-person was a nice change, though there wasn't enough of Molly's "editorial" comments to feel as Molly-ish as I'd have liked to have seen. How'd Ginny not get caught?

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Anticipation

cherabela commented:
This is amazingly describtive, though I'm still a bit confused on the "Two more days" part.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
It took me a really really really long time to figure out who you were writing as (I finally had to PM others on it until someone came up with who it was supposed to be. Too subtle, detracts from the mission). <br /> <br />That said, I'd think Remus would still be torn up at the loss and have a tough time writing about his buddy...I guess I'd expect that emotional loss in there at least a bit. Though he'd certainly understand the exhillaration of running and animalism.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Beyond Expectations

timeturner commented:
You captured Snape's bitterness well. There were some great lines, my favorite- ...excited for no reason at all. The Quibbler article was good. Very Quibbler like. I liked your troll idea too. The story seemed to go in a different direction in the end. Didn't see it coming.

StarWalker commented:
A great trek through Snape's mind! It's no wonder Harry didn't learn Occlumency, and, as Snape's mind is described here, it's a wonder he's such a superb legilmens. Very minor dings in characterization and canon; technical was also off.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
There a couple probs with technical/grammar things... but this is SO in character! Nice job!

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Success

timeturner commented:
I really liked this one!! Fantastic description! I so wanted to know what he was thinking of Peter though! But alas, no special emotion. But I could see how that fits. Well Done!!

cherabela commented:
I loved the cocking the head thing; I can imagine Snuffles looking sideways to see clearly!

McGonagall's Cat commented:
There are a couple typos. I still don't feel/get the message of Lupin writing as. It's a fine story though! The Sirius depiction was done well.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story A Crate of Christmas Cheer

pinkpanther commented:
It took me a bit to figure out who was writing the story, but once I did it made it all the better. Good job.

StarWalker commented:
While the title had me thinking of one thing, (my age shows, I fear!), the actual reference was beautiful; a fitting title for a well told tale. There were many canon problems, and minor technical and charcaterization ones, but overall, this was well done.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
Bill writing as Ginny. It's nice to know he thinks so highly of his baby sister, her talents appear to rival Fred's.

cherabela commented:
You had some spelling errors but it was very creative. Loved the bit with the snitch and glasses and lightning bolt! Bet the twins made the quaffle maroon to spite Ron.

timeturner commented:
Very creative! Great details (maroon quaffle!)

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Disallusioned

cherabela commented:
I liked how it turned out in the end; that Peter was still inferior to his friends.

timeturner commented:
You did an amazing job on this challenge. Three stories- all original. I really liked the portrayal of Peter's emotions.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
Poor Peter! (Why does that feel like saying 'Poor Ted Bundy'?) Excellent story. And as always, I don't get a good solid feel for who is writing the story, just too subtle.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Mistletoe Discovery

StarWalker commented:
A nice Luna-Colin interaction piece. I particularly liked "...and more importantly, one that doesn't include me..." Some technical and canonical errors, however.

cherabela commented:
Personally, I don't really think every student at Hogwarts would be avidly reading an article about Nargles. Characterization is rather off.

timeturner commented:
Well written. I would have rather seen someone besides Luna as the main character, only because it was written by Luna.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
Ends a bit abruptly. Poor Colin, coming in second to Blibbering Humdingers.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Salvation

cherabela commented:
Amazingly describtive as it is, you failed to note one particular part of the mission. You aren't allowed to write as your character in the first person - only in the third person!

timeturner commented:
You did write Remus too! There was a rough patch in the begining. The sentences seemed a bit too long. The end was very touching, perfect. Great job!

McGonagall's Cat commented:
Nice to have the full circle, all four stories connected. You must explain why you chose to say: "have stood by me these last thirteen school terms." Thirteen? I thought they accomplished it in their 5th year...

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Naughty, Naughty

StarWalker commented:
I fear poor ekeltricity turned this more into a story about the father (ahem-hem) than about Ginny. Relatively severe technical troubles, and minor canonical problems, but I found the story engaging

cherabela commented:
I liked the shampoo excuse to comfort Ginny. Some technical errors though. And "knowing that <br />each would blame the other for not mentioning the new addition." sounds rather familiar from another submission.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
Problems with homophones and incorrectly placed or tensed wording. Fun story! Very good plotline.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Weird or Feared?

StarWalker commented:
Quite humorous, although a touch forced in places. Certain technical and canonical problems.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
So VERY in charater! Well done.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story A Snake in the Heart of Gryffindor

StarWalker commented:
Absolutely wonderful! I can't see Harry working on this without Ron and Hermione, though.

cherabela commented:
Why would Harry choose a snake as his animagus form in the first place? Although it did add a really good twist as the end, I think Snape really is to be trusted.

timeturner commented:
Fan fiction by Voldemort. I wondered what it would be like. Well done! You didn't necessarily follow the mission in a direct way, but..very good.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Hogwart's Greatest, a Still Life in Sepia

StarWalker commented:
Great title, complete with subtitle! So Snape! So Colin! So - minor technical and canonical errors.

McGonagall's Cat commented:
Professor Snape being subtle here. Some real gems in the piece..."and any gibbon could teach it. Ended abruptly, though.... <br />

cherabela commented:
Lavender the editor of the Hogwarts newspaper? That sounds a bit unlikely.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story Breakfast Interrupted

StarWalker commented:
The Snape/Dumbledore interaction, particularly at the end, was priceless. Technical errors clustered around spelling problems and using the wrong word; there were also character and canonical errors.

cherabela commented:
Characterization was rather off; I don't think McGonagall would read the Quibbler to begin with.

timeturner commented:
The Quibbler story was excellent. Interesting and creative ideas. McGonagall's character seemed a little off though.

[agrippa]

Comments on the story A DAY IN THE LIFE OF HARRY POTTER

StarWalker commented:
While certainly a typical Rita Skinner article, the mission calls for discussion by, and its effect on, students. There were also technical errors not associated with Rita's Quick Quotes Quill, along with canonical and characteristic discrepancies.

cherabela commented:
Loved "McMonnamonnagallga"!! I had a bit of trouble trying to figure out with form of submission your used though. <br />

pinkpanther commented:
This was a fun story, you captured the voice of Rita very well.

timeturner commented:
Interesting way to approach the mission! The bit about the glowering award was fantastic. Good job.