Gred & Forge's Journal, Dear Diary... Options

[evlpez]

Dear Diary,

Today is our 9th birthday. Fred and I wanted some fireworks for our birthday, but Mom doesn't think it's a good idea. She gave us a journal and some quills and ink instead.

Maybe it's because she knows what we did with the ones we stole from under Charlie's bed a couple of months ago. - F

No way. She doesn't know - or she would have congratulated us for what it did to that gnome hole by the shed.

She might have if those gnomes hadn't dug two more closer to the house. We'll have to try that one again. - F

I agree. Next time, twice as many.

Agreed. You know, I like this journal idea. What a good way to keep track of our experiments, accomplishments and notes on our ... not so good results. -F

Right. Why didn't we start this a couple of years ago?

You couldn't write in cursive a couple of years ago. - F

Thanks for recording that.

That's all for today, Diary. Happy Birthday to us.
George
and Fred

[zymurgy]

Hey there, blank sheet of paper!

Huh? Just write 'Dear Diary,' like I did. Continuity... - G

This is my turn to be head writer, and I think 'Dear Diary' is girly. A diary is sissy. Journals are for guys.

What are you? Some type of macho cave man? -G

Ugga bugga bugga boo!

And they say your the mature one. -G

At any rate, today we did a very, very brave thing.

It was also rather stupid. -G

That's debatable. At any rate, today we snuck into Charlies room.

It was your idea. It's your fault. -G.
Let's just hope Charlie never finds out it was us who stole his prefect badge.

Never mind what Charlie'll do if he finds out. If MUM finds out we sunk it in the pond, it's good-bye handsome hunks of twinishness. -G

I don't think twinishness is a word.

It has oomph. -G

Is it oomph with a ph or oomf with an f?

Ooomph. It's Greek. -G

Greek?! Why?

Because it starts with G, and G stands for George, and I said it. -G

Well, now that we've both had our chance to be obnoxious, immature, and stupid,

Hey! Speak for yourself! -G

Allright, now that I've had the chance to be a literary genius, and George has been obnoxious, immature, and stupid...

(unreadable on account of messy blotches, caused by a battle for the quill(

That's all for today, as the page has been mussed by Fred's obnoxious, immature, stupidity. -G

[GinnyAuror00]

Dear Diary,

Mum found out. We are stuck in our room for two weeks. Thanks Fred.

Well if you had , perhaps, been more enthusiastic, we might have been able to pull it off. -F

I've decided that we should direct our efforts elsewhere.

Oh! So you wanted to annoy Percy. Well, we can do that next time. -F

No! Lately, we have been quite slack with our inventions...how about getting out the old potion set?

Brilliant! -F

All right Diary, we are off to create something new! Any now, now have to hide you, because if mum find out what we are doing...

All right! Stop talking and lets experiment! -F

[evlpez]

Dear Angus (which sounds better than "Diary"),

The old potion set needs some work. I forgot we damaged it the last time we had it out.

It wasn't my fault, and you can't prove it. - G

Well anyway, without a bottom in the little cauldron, we're not likely to brew up anything brillliant.

I'll bet Percy's is in perfect condition, and you know he hasn't played with it since he got a real one for school. - G

You're right. Well Angus, wish us luck. We're going to attempt to make an anti-pompous brother potion of some kind.

I found his cauldron, let's get to work! -G

Yours,
Fred. and George.

[Ergo343]

Now this thing is ruined, it has potion all over the beginning of it. I told you we shouldn't keep it so close to our experiment.

Well, if you had listened to me and not put the boomslang skin in the potion we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. -F

That't not even the issue now, besides the fact that you put it in the potion!

I did, didn't I? -F

Yeah, you did. I put Percy's set back in his room, he won't notice.

Yes he will, he inventories his supplies when he comes back for the summer, you know that. -F

Well, it doesn't matter now anyway, we have time to sort that all out. The most important thing is that we wrote the recipe for the potion down and we know it works.

Uh...G? Rember the bit about the diary having potion all over it? Well, remember what the potion does? -F

Oh shoot, I'll finish this later.
George

And what am I chopped liver?-F

Yup. Later for real this time.
Georgeina and Fred

[Adele]

Dear Dia

Well, that's the last time we're ever bringing up new broomsticks at the dinner table.

At first I thought Mum had dipped her face in her tomato sauce. - G

But Ginny always scuttles off and swipes our brooms - ! It's just not fair, just one more broom would be nice - anything to stop her from getting girl germs all over my beloved Shooting Star -

"Beloved Shooting Star" - that's, like, an oxymoron. - G

What's an oxymoron?

Your mum's an oxymoron. - G

My mum's your mum too, doofus.

I found a scuff mark right by where the letters are carved on my broom - you think Ginny did that, too? - G

Perhaps she's not the only one sneaking off. I wouldn't be surprised if Ron did, as well - although there would most likely be a hole in the roof. All right, that rules him out.

How about Percy? - G

Yeah, and Dad's the next Minister for Magic.

All right, Mum's coming, can't look like we're actually using this thing.

Passionately, adoringly, and lovingly yours,
George Everard Weasley

Ewwww.

[evlpez]

Dear Angus,

Why do you insist on calling it Angus? - G

Shut up - I'm writing. Dear Angus. We're in trouble.

No, YOU are in trouble. It was YOUR idea. - G

We borrowed Percy's Potion set again and whatever we made with it has put a hole in the cauldron.

I knew that brew looked familiar. Isn't that the same one we tried with ours when we put a hole in it? - G

It's so big a mouse could crawl through it. On the upside, we've a really neat looking potion and we dont' know what it does yet. We're going out to the garden and try feeding it to the gnomes.

No way he won't notice. I think I'm going to just owl Percy right now and apologize for your horrible lack of manners and respect for his things. - G

Our only hope is to find money somehow and buy another set then replace his cauldron and ingredients.

We could sell Ron and/or Ginny. - G

That's our best bet. We're going to Diagon Alley tomorrow with Mum, so we'll try and pawn one of them off while she isn't looking.

She'll probably get mad at us, though, and wonder where we got the money for the potion set. - G

We'll say they ran away, and that we found the potion set... or that it came free with an ice cream at Fortescue's.

You're deluded. - G

It was your idea.

Ever yours,
Fred.
but not George. I'm not getting blamed for any of this.

[GinnyAuror00]

Dear Diary,

I like Angus better -F

Well I like when you stop doing stupid things and getting us both into heaps of trouble, but that doesn't stop you.

Nope - F

Diary, Fred actually tried to steal Ginny's only pearl necklace that mum gave her as a gift.

At least I tried to help - F

Yeah, and now not only will we be in trouble with Percy, but mum is furious.

Well, what should we do now? -F

WE are not doing anything! I am telling mum what happened.

Don 't you dare! -F

*next few lines are full of pen marks on page*

Ha! George is a bit busy now, being tied up to a chair and all. I have to go think...bye Angus!

-Fred

[McGonagall's Cat]

Dear Diary ~ Now Fred's gone and done it...

Hey! That was a brilliant spell!
Garden Gnomes are annoying, and they just keep coming right back, so...
I fixed the problem.

But like Mum said, there's no point in getting rid of gnomes if there's no garden left when you're done.

You don't even like broccoli.

But I love strawberries.

Just relax. It'll all grow back in no time.

Yeah, right.. Goodnight Diary

Goodnight Angus

Would you cut that out!

Probably not...

[zymurgy]

Boys,

This has GOT to stop.

Quit experimenting on me, will you? You are NOT the marauders, and have NO skill with the charms you are attempting to put on me. I will NOT turn sentient no matter WHAT you try. So quit it.

Leave me alone. I am not Angus. I am not your Diary. I am not your Journal. In fact, my name is Gordon, but that wouldn't interest you. You never even bothered to ask, did you? What, just because I'm a book and your people, you think you're better than I am? Am I trash because I haven't got hands and feet and legs and things?

I do not want to know about your lives. I am not interested. All I want is a dusty corner on a shelf somewhere, to live out the rest of my life in peace, far from bookworms, water problems, and pesky writers.

Good bye, good luck, and sorry.
Gordon.

[Aglaope]

Well that was interesting - G

I've never been told off by a journal before - F

I bet it's getting lessons from mum. or Percy. - G

Let's train it to do tricks!

I've always wanted a pet journal!

YOU FOOLS! YOU CANNOT TRAIN ME!

Quick George, get the potion...

This post has been edited by McGonagall's Cat: Jul 7 2004, 06:41 PM

[zymurgy]

Boys:

I feel it my duty to warn you that a horrid creature with horn rimmed glasses has been reading your pages lately. He has also ripped a page from my back to scribble stupid 'notes to self' on. I would appreciate it greatly if you told him to eat his smurfy shorts.

regards,

Gordon.

[Aglaope]

mmmm.... Smurfy shorts.... - F

[zymurgy]

Frederic Patric Weasley!
I am not amused. Kindly deal with the fallout and minimize the damage, instead of laughing at me. I understand that you are immature and stupid, but I thought even YOU would look after your so called possessions, and protect them from theft, unathorized reading, and mutilation.
Gordon.

[anhaire]

Dear Diary,

It said its name was Gordon. -F

Dear Gordon,
I had a brilliant idea today.

We had it. -F

I thought to clean up the leftover potion with Mrs. Scower's Magical Mess Remover.

He spilled what was left of it and tried to clean it up before it ate through the carpet. -F

So I noticed that it made the potion turn very gooey. And very, very sticky.

He stuck his finger in and couldn't pull it out. We had to chip off the potion. He's still got a bit of it on there. Mum'll kill him if she notices. -F

So I thought, why not seal Percy's door with it?

We're doing it for you, Gordon. He won't come to tear your pages out anytime soon. -F

You're not doing it for me, Frederic. You're doing it for your own petty self.

Oh, good. I was worried the sentiency charm had worn off.

I cast it. It won't wear off. -F

We're off to Percy's room.

-George and Fred